Finding birth parents help?

Question

i was adopted, and have always knew that when i turned 18 i wanted to find my birth parents. the parents that adopted me will always be my parents, as they have brought me up. but i have never felt a connection with them like a child should with their parents. i have also never felt like i know who i am. i found my birth certificate once (i dont ask my parents about this yet as i feel this would upset them), but it said on it that the parents were 'unknown'.

will i still have a chance to find my birth parents?

how do i go about doing this?

(i live in the uk)

Answer 1

I should preceed my answer by saying I am in the US, so I don't know if the process is similar in the UK.

With that said, I found my birth mother at 18 years old.  And I had little to go on (no names)

I contacted the adoption agency that handled my case (your adopted parents should help you with this).  I sent an email, stating my name, date of birth, city of birth and my interest in finding my birth mom.  That's really all you can do.  You can also make mention that you are interested in finding out your health history.

After that, the ball is in your birth parents' court.  The adoption agency will then be in touch with your birth parents, and if they are willing to be in contact with you, the agency will contact you with a phone number, email address or mailing address.  Now it's on you again!

You have to be prepared for undesirable results, though.  Your birth parents may not want contact with you.  They could be worried that contact could disrupt both of your lives.  

Also, they may agree to email, but not want face-to-face contact.  

I don't know about you, but when I was young, I had a fantasy of what my birth parents were like, and when I met my birth mom (she was divorced from my birthdad), I was almost disappointed that she was not what I had pictured.  It was also difficult for me to hear about why I was put up for adoption, and also finding out about her relationship with my birth father.  

I wish you the best of luck in your search.  Whatever the outcome, I am happy to hear you have such a positive relationship with your adopted parents.  

Adopted mother's prayer:

"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,

but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute,

you didn't grow under my heart, but in it."

Answer 2

My brother (adopted from a different family than I) Just found his birth father by sending a letter to the adoption agency that was then sent to his birth father. His birth mother did not wish to be contacted but because he located his father, there are now ways around that by finding her number, now that he knows her name.

Answer 3

i think there a certain websites, but not sure if free or not..

idk, im trying to find my dad as well...

Answer 4

If you are in the UK you are more fortunate than us US adoptees whose records and original identities are sealed away and kept from us

You are entitled to your entire adoption file - go get it!  This site might be of some guidance to you:

http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/adopti...

All the best