Finding it hard to cope with family probs

Question

i am starting to feel like i want to explode i know i haver a hormone prob and this makes me up and down,but i really am fed up with worrying and thinking about probs in my family. i am mainly talking about my dad who has always had bad sides and ways and is a heavy daily drinker which has obviously affected him and us a family and our lives,he also has had health probs for tha last couple of years which he's done nothing about and i think has mixed feelings and reasons for this,and i am just fed up of it all,and think its terrible that in this life you soemtimes have to go on and just make allowances which i suppose is a way of coping,i am 28 now and still at home i feel that all these things that are going on drag me down and i would like anyones thoughts or opinions on this situation,of course remembering that although yes i am asking a question so of course i've got to expect people to answer with what they think best,it doesn't really come into it,that i should say things and get him help cause please note it is not one of those type of situations

Answer 1

I am so sorry you have to be in that situation. You need to put yourself first, it is very difficult to do so as I imagine you do not want to feel guilty about your Dad. But he isn't feeling guilty about the situation he is putting you in. You must move out and start your own life, I realise that is easier said than done. You also need support if you are going to continue supporting him emotionally - have you thought of looking for a support group for you to go to locally, so you can talk to people who are experiencing / experienced the same thing?

Answer 2

Hello.. Sometimes you just can help some people. Your dad sounds like he is one of them people unfortunately.  You need to back off from him.  Believe me it is not an easy thing to do.  I had to back off from my sister who has very similar problems and believe me it broke my heart, but you have to think about yourself.  If you don't no one else will.  I used to get my self in a right state over my sister especially when the doctors said her liver was a mess and if she didn't stop drinking it would kill her.  I was so upset for months and what was worse was watchin her carry on drinking, Watchin how she put her children and everyone else second.  It was torchure.  Eventually her children were taken off her and now live with my parents. I saw her hurt everyone around her but i still couldn't turn my back on her she was my sister.  My life was suffering, i was miserable, constantly crying or angry at her which i was taking out on my friends. Sounding familiar.  Eventually i decided enough was enough i had to back away and i haven't seen her now for nearly 2 years.  It broke my heart but it got easier.  My problems dwindled away and i am now happy.  Most of my problem was the constant worry.... You need to back away no matter how hard it is.  Move into your own house but still keep contact having your own space away from it all will help alot.  Keep ya chin up chuck. Talking to people always helps.. Good luck x

Answer 3

You should think about yourself first of all. You can think about your dad after you have helped yourself because it seems like you are the one who is about to have a breakdown at any moment. Try to move out of the house as soon as possible because I think it's unhealthy for you to live in an environment with negative people surrounding you and where you are constantly reminded of the problems you have to face.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

I know it seems as though you must take care of other people and worry about them also - however - in situations like these, one has to be selfish and worry about themselves sometimes - you get yourself together before you go on with taking care of others...good luck honey