Finding new daycare: son bad vibes?

Question

My son needs to start a new daycare in the summer. In the fall he will be going to Kindergarten. He has been at the same daycare for three years, but they are in a different school district. We went to check out a home based day care today. The kids there were all younger than him, but the children all seemed to like the provider. They got along well with her, seemed happy, and like they were having a good time.

My son just clinged to me the whole time. We went at circle time. The kids sat at a small table and we sat on the floor. He would not participate which does not surprise me (It sometimes takes a while for him to warm up to new people.) His vibes of people have always been strong since he was a baby...either he likes somebody or he does not.

I told my son that we are going to check out another one next week and then he has to pick one. He told me that he picks the next one. I told him that he did not see it yet. He said Mom I made a decision...pick the next one.

Answer 1

well as far as you finding a daycare that you like, a way to pick which one you would feel more comfortable with is ask the director if you can stop by anytime to look in the window and check on him, he doesnt even have to know youre there, if they say no, that is a HUGE red flag. a daycare should let parents feel free to look in on their child's class whenever they want to. i worked in daycares for several years and we always let parents peep in on them on the lunch breaks or whenever. and yeah i would let him have some say so as to which daycare he would like to go to. maybe once you decide on a daycare, try to meet some of the parents, talk to them and see what they say about the daycare and try to set up a playdate with their kids at the park so he'll have a friend there and wouldn't feel like he doenst know anyone. good luck!

Answer 2

Yes, I would say involve him in the decision. It wouldn't do any good for either of you if he's not happy and comfortable at a place where he has to spend so much time at.

Answer 3

You silly lady why did you bother to have kids?  I have an idea, how about you downsize your house, don't drive a BMW and be there for your son.  Your son is your flesh and blood and will only be little for so long, yet you are selfish and put him in an almost prison environment.  Do your son a favor and stay home.  I stay at home for my kids and it's the best thing a woman can do.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness you do have a full plate.  First and foremost I always follow my instincts and it has served me well.  So, I would definitely listen to your son's instincts in this situation.  He may just be worried about the change that is coming but, it could be something more.  Children have a sixth sense about people.  

Secondly, I would definitely look into preschool over day care at his age.  He is growing up and needs the more structured environment of preschool to help prepare him for kindergarden.  Kindergarden is much more advanced these days.  He will be working on his academic skills; reading, math and some science.  There won't be much time for him to learn the basics of following a structured program.

In our area, many of the elementary schools also have preschool.  These are really good programs.  I know it's difficult when you work full time.    But give it a look.

Answer 5

Well, I always trust my gut, and maybe you should trust his.  I know kids with mood disorders sometimes just get stubborn for no apparent reason - don't want something, dont' want to do something, etc.  But maybe there is a reason we don't see.

I wonder if the provider just isn't good with differently abled kids?

Maybe he sensed that.

I think if I was you, I'd look at the second place and then see if he does the same thing, if he does, maybe he just doesn't want to go to a new daycare. Change can be hard for any kid, but especially kids with special needs.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I think you should involve him in the decision what if his instincts are right and you put him in the wrong daycare  then you'll have to make another switch. maybe he has a little bit of a 6th sense. He might be really open up to the other daycare provider you'll be able to tell which one he prefers.

Answer 7

yes, involve him in the decision.