Finding your Biological Mom?

Question

I was wondering when you have a child and that child has an adoptive parent how long does it take for them to want to find you?

Answer 1

Some birthmoms want to find their children. Others do not.  Many do not know how to search or have been severely discouraged in their search and/or put down by family or friends.  They are often told to 'leave well enough alone' yet in many cases, the child is actually searching already.  I think most birthmoms who search start when their child reaches 18-25 years old. Others never do because the pain of that time haunts them too much.

Now, if you mean the kids finding their birthparents, some start looking either after high school or after college.  Many more start looking when they have their first child. Few start much after that.  Boys tend not to look for their birthparent. Some assume that their birthparent would find them if they really wanted to (alas, these souls have no idea how hard it really is in many states). Some search for their birthparent only to release their angst at them (I unfortunately, know two cases). This isn't the case for most although discovery can release some pretty primal feelings.

Answer 2

Depends. Some might not ever want to meet their mom. Others want to find their moms right after they find out (depending on age).

Answer 3

I think that the majority of adoptees always wonder about their birth family. Whether they want to find them or not. You also have to keep in mind your child may not even know they are adopted.

For me personally, Im an adoptee who just found her birth mom. (Ill be meeting her for the first time in 2 weeks). I have always wondered about her. But I came from an abusive adoptive family so I never felt like I fit in. I needed to find her to have someone in this world to relate to.

Every child is different, but I can gaurantee they at least think of you and some part of them wants to know where they came from.

Also male and female adoptees are different. Most females have the need to find their families right away. Males on the other hand usually dont start to search until they get a bit older. Its usually some traumatic event like the death of a parent that will trigger a search. Often the birth of an adoptees own child will trigger a search as well. But again everyone is different!

Answer 4

Some may never choose to search but many do. Everything depends on the individual and their family. State laws for the most part determine when a child can legally start searching.  Many states the legal age is 18 but for some states the age is as high as 25.

Answer 5

It would have to depend on the person.  Some adopted children never feel really whole unless they find their biological family, others never have a need to find their biological family.  There is no way of telling what will happen. Some children just become so much apart of the family that they go to live with that they can''t imagine wanting to find anyone else as a parent.  It's sort of a c**p shoot

Answer 6

That depends on the individual.  Some never seek their birth parents, some obsess over it their whole lives.