First step toward locating birth parents in Colorado?

Question

My husband was born and adopted in Colorado Springs. Can anyone tell me what the 1st step is that he would need to take in order to attempt to locate his birth parents? What does he have to do to get a hold of his adoption records? Do they have to be handed over to him if he requests them or does it depend on the circumstances?

Answer 1

first, both of you should read the book 'Birthright' by Jean Strauss. it can help guide both of you in your search as well as help with the emotions of searching. I am currently searching for my birth parents and this book has helped me tremendously.

Answer 2

As an adoptive dad, I have to ask why?  It hurt me a lot when my kid went to visit her birth mom.  After all, my wife & I were the people that wiped butts, went to endless soccer games, took care of broken arms and broken hearts.   All the birth dad did was donate some sperm.  And the birth mom quit after birth.  

If it's for health reasons, then try some of the websites that specialize in finding birth parents, and talk to a lawyer in Colorado.

Just remember your parents are the people that loved you and protected you when you were a Pain in posterior.

Also, try to remember that they may NOT want to be found.

Answer 3

ISRR, (International Soundex Reunion Registry) is a good place to start. Also if you can find a search angel to help you, they are out there. I believe one person here said they were one, maybe they have contacts in Colorado? If wouldn't hurt to ask.

Also as much as I hate to say it adoption.com has a registry, my daughter found me there. Not a very nice site but there is the registry. Keep in mind that less than 1% of people find from an online registry. It can't hurt to sign up for them though.

If you are serious about finding then may I also suggest you go to adoptioncrossroads.com and do some reading. It is vital to be prepared for anything in reunion. There is a nightly faciliated chat that runs from 11pm EST to 1am EST. I have found a tremendous amount of help there from other mothers and from adoptees. Keep in mind that as a spouse you will need to be prepared as well as your hubby. Chat is for you too!

Jay, just  a word to the wise here. If you are supportive of your child relationship with their natural family you may find your relationship with them strengthed! Just because you did the job you signed up for does not mean your child should be eternally grateful , nor should you keep them from having a relationship with their natural family. Every person in this country deserves to have their heritage and to know where they came from. Speaking of the woman who gave birth to your child in a derogatory manner indicates to me that not only are uneducated on this aspect of adoption, but that you fear the things your childs mother represents. After all if it were not for her you would not have a child!

Answer 4

Register at:

isrr.net

He should also contact the agency he was adopted from and get his non-identifying information. You can look here for info - they do have a confidential intermediary system in Colorado which means you pay a large fee to the state and they make contact with the natural parents to see if they want contact:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/l...

Or you can search on your own by registering on as many sites are possible.

Best of luck to him!

On a side note to Jay L - so you can wipe butts and go to soccer games but you can't open your heart and understand that this is not about you - but about your child. Is it okay for parents to love two children? So why isn't it okay for a child to love two sets of parents? Your statement makes it seem like you expect your child to be grateful because he/she was such a pain in rear - NICE. Whatever happened to unconditional love?

Answer 5

Get hubby to register on any and all of the online reunion registries. Keep an email addy open just for that reason and keep copies of all the sites he registers at along with passwords and the like in a folder at that email addy. Makes it sooo much easier.

I found my Mom by accident and out of boredom on the now defunct reunionregistry.com. You never know who might type an adoptee's info into one of these places.

Ps. Hey Jay? I wonder if some day long from now I can tell my daughter to love me more because I wiped her bum, nose, tears, scrapes etc. Just because you adopted doesn't mean your child owes you any more than any child owes their parents. And BTW without a natural mother and father you wouldn't have had the JOY of doing all the things you appear to be complaining about now! If you think so little of the people who made your child I can't help but wonder why you adopted the kid to begin with.

Answer 6

Here is a link to Colorado's laws regarding access to adoption records.

http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/colora...

Colorado is not an easy state to search because there are not many records available to search angels.

They do however have a confidential intermediary program.  The big drawback to this is the cost.  I believe the starting fee is $875 with a possibility that this could increase should the search require more work.  They do offer a sliding scale based on income hardship.  I do know of one person who is using them for the minimal fee of $50 but not sure of what her income circumstances are.  Another drawback is if they do indeed locate and make contact with a birth parent and the birth parent refuses any contact you do NOT get the name or the contents of your adoption files.

I would recommend registering with

isrr.net

registry.adoption.com

g's adoption registry and as many other as you can locate on the web.  Also search for his information on the chance that someone is looking for him.  Don't rely on the fact that the birth mother would have the exact birthday or even year.  Often times the adoption and the entire process is very traumatic and details are forgotten over the years.

Good luck!

PS. to Jay, as an adoptive father you are to be commended for being a great parent and for being there for your children during all of the good and bad times but unless you are just specfically speaking of the birth parents to your child/children, the circumstances you describe are not normally the case.  Many birth fathers are more than sperm but were not allowed or even told of the circumstances of the birth and many birth mothers are forced by families or circumstances to make very difficult decisions that many do not want to make.  Do not generalize that what you have said is how all adoptions take place.  I hope that this is not how you portray the two people who created the life/lives of your children within your own home.  That would not be good parenting by anyone's standards.

Answer 7

Dory is right.

ISRR.net is a great place to start.

Jay L--Just curious, didn't sign up to wipe butts?  Then stop expecting the children you dreamed of to kiss yours.

Answer 8

Mel - good advice given by Devil's mom and Dory.

Good luck!

To Jay,

Seriously - it's adoptive parents like yourself that give many adoptive parents a bad name - for making it all about them - and not about the child/adult adoptee.

Adoptees don't ask to be separated from their first family - and thrust into the hands of complete strangers.

No matter the reason behind the adoption - please grow some compassion for crying out loud!

All of it matters to the adoptee - all the lack of information - all the losses.

And we don't NEED an excuse to want to search - it's about us - what we lost.

We shouldn't have to justify ANYTHING.

We're adults - we can love and care for anyone we choose.

We're just trying to put together the missing pieces - because ultimately - whether you like it or not - whether you choose to go on pretending in your fantasy world - adoptee's are part of a whole bigger picture.

Please just TRY and stop making it all about YOU.

It's not.

Get over yourself.

And please leave adoptees alone that choose to put together ALL the pieces of their lives.

Answer 9

first of all if you know your name before adopted you can write stright to the health depart and get your birth certificate. now if you need to get records you can go to the court you were adoptedin and petition the court for your sealed records they can give them to you may cost 50 or so not sure. sometimes they won't give them to you if your adopted parents are alive you have to check with your state. you can also write to the social security admin and find out if you can get that help from them tell them you are trying to find out medical and maybe they can help you take care.