First time mum in need of some help?

Question

I have a 13mth old little girl who seems to grizzle over just about everything these days. She never use to be like this when she was younger but it seems for the past month it is slowly getting worse. If she doesn't get what she wants she starts grizzling, crying, getting angry and hitting herself. I have another child on the way early next year and I want to make sure both my children are well behaved and under control but all of a sudden my daughter freaks if she doesn't get what she wants. Do all children do this and how can I control it and stop her from grizzling and freaking out everytime she doesn't get what she wants.

Answer 1

She is 13 months? As in she only now turned 1? It may be that she notices Mum`s tummy getting big and her lap getting small and that freaks her out but she cannot simply say ``Mummy why are you so fat????`` (LOL)  If you have been sickly with morning sickness and things have been different with the pregnancy that might be why she is out of sorts -- she knows something is different but she cannot use words to express it.

With a baby this young I would simply hold her and be reassuring when she is out of sorts. You cannot really discipline a 1 year old for this. I mean if she is toddling around getting into things you can (by the way) give her a smack on the hands but for throwing tantrums? No -- not really. All you can do is hold her and keep her from hitting herself and talk to her in soothing tones.

Answer 2

Asserting her independence at 13 Months!?!?! Sorry, i would lean more toward teething and she doesn't like what your giving her to eat. Probably more teething. 13 months is a little young to just trying to phiss you off.....try some different food. Are you trying to force table food on her - my little guy is 2 and still has a hard time with a lot of table food. I keep a stock of baby vegies and fruit on hand for those moments. I see 2 pediatrician's (which ever one is available for the next apt, soonest) and they have differing opinions on baby food - one says he doesn't care if a baby eats baby food till he's 25 - it's healthier than most table food adults eat!! and the other says he should be off baby food at 2 - frankly, i agree with the first Dr. It causes much less stress at meal times to just use baby food now and again and i don't always make vegies for every meal and whole fruit isn't common in my house....anyway, my point being - try some different foods - the hitting herself is frustration cuz your not getting it. she is probably hungry but in too much pain or simply doesn't want what your giving her.

good luck.

Answer 3

A complicated question! You cant say 'every' child acts like this, it's a matter of behavioural conditioning resultant from your parenting style. There are some good books out on this subject, but if you are mahing major difficulties then seek professional help. Your state child protection agency will be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck, all the best.

Answer 4

All babies try do this. Looks like the little one is controlling u. To get the role reversed that will require a bit of work. It's hard enough to start with a newborn with out it being with a child that get its own way al the time.  My suggestion is get some behavioural modification assistance from an expert

Answer 5

It is just a developmental stage - she has suddenly realised that she can influence the world around her - if a newborn cries, they don't do it in order to get mum's attention or to ensure that someone comes to them - they simply do it because they are hungry (or wet or awake etc) BUT a one year old is suddenly realising that if she cries, mum comes and brings food, or plays with her, or changes her nappy. She is testing boundaries and working out what she can get away with!

My (now 3yo) daughter did exactly the same thing, and still goes through brief periods of 'the grizzles' where any time we say 'no' results in dramatic floods of tears.

It seems like it will last forever, but really, it is a completely normal stage. Don't be too firm, remember she is not doing it to be "naughty" but she she can only determine the boundaries of her world by pushing them slightly and seeing how far they go. This is why its important to have an agreement with your partner, and clearly define what is acceptable and what isn't.

Then just stick with your rules - if she goes crazy and starts screaming, just move to the other side of the room and look busy and ignore the screaming. If she tips a plate of food on the floor (a favourite at this age...)  simply take it away and explain that if food gets thrown then it doesn't get eaten. If she hits herself, then put her in her cot or somewhere safe and sit across the room and let her scream (while she knows you are there to look after her)  

This WILL pass as long as you don't let her learn that tantrums=getting her own way. but don't go overboard with it, she is only a baby and she will have tantrums in her life - it is an inportant stage to help her learn how to deal with anger and frustration.

Also something to consider - simple baby sign language can alleviate a lot of the frustration involved with being a toddler, allowing her to communicate what she wants before her language skills develop.

Good luck, this is the best age, they are so gorgeous and so much fun!

Answer 6

It is refered to as the "terrible twos" (not all children have the same experience) it is quite common with patience it should pass.  The child is becoming aware of herself and asserting her independence.  I am sure many experienced parents will have more to say on this.

Answer 7

Sounds to me that she is just going through a stage. You need to show her that she DOES NOT get everything she wants. It will take some time before she stops crying and having a fit about this, but will work, I have had some of my children do the same  thing. Make sure you are very patient though!

Answer 8

The way she is behaving has nothing to do with your parenting style! It is her age and like someone mentioned above she is asserting her independence.  She is testing the waters to see how far she can push you.  I have a young daughter myself and I can sympathise with you, I nearly tore my hair out! But I have learned to interpret what the grizzle is (hunger, tired, attention) by a method of elimination and attended to her needs.  If it is just attention try to ignore it and let her know in an assertive voice (don't yell or shout, just use a firm tone) that you won't give in to her and you will give her a cuddle or play or whatever when she has stopped grizzeling.  She will quickly learn how far you are willing to be pushed.  Don't expect too much of her in the behaviour department, this is very normal and most kiddies go through it!  Good luck!

Answer 9

i have 18 year old daughter,she was started being naughty girl when she was one year old,until now she is 18 months old,she is more mischievous girl..they are normally do that kind of attitude,that's part of their growth or stage. all we have to do is to be patient and give more  love and care,and mostly teach them a lot of educational things because their brain at that stage is like a sponge that could easily absorb of what they have heard and seen everyday.so we have to be careful to teach them in very educational things...she is 18 months old and she knows a lot of different kinds of animals,shapes,and she had already complete 3 words,she talks very well and very clever to play Lego..though she is sometimes grizzling if she can't get what she wanted to play.

Answer 10

I know how help you, I hope kind to solve the method, I have 2 children too