First week of college is a nightmare..help?

Question

I just began college this past week and it has been the worst few weeks of my life. In high school I had so many friends and was so involved. Now I have started college and have no friends whatsoever. I have left my dorm door open and have tried meeting people on my floor but have not made any connections and we have no common area to hang out in. Then I thought it would be better when classes started but there are like no girls my age in any of my classes. It is a big party school and I dont want to get caught up in that. I can always hear girls laughing in my hall..I love to laugh and I have not laughed once since school started. All I do is cry when I am alone...I miss everything I hate it here..my roomate is nice but she has friends that I pretty much tagalong with ..in one of my classes the prof said that your freshman friends are the ones that are with you for the whole college experience...any suggestions on how to make this situation better?

Answer 1

Oh, wow.  Your situation sounds very similar to my first year of college.  I would recommend joining several organizations because it is a really good way to meet people.  Joining an organization allows you to meet people with similar interests.  Meeting new friends can be difficult and you are not the only one with this problem.  

Many universities have counseling centers on campus, which you may want to check out.  The counseling center will provide you with help and someone to talk to.  However, it will not compensate for the lack of friends.

Try joining a few groups on campus and see what happens. You could offer to host a movie night in your dorm room as well.  

Answer 2

I didn't make really good friends until I joined the Baptist Student Union at my college. I didn't go there for 2 years because I thought it would be a bunch of losers sitting around praying, but I was very wrong! Everybody there roomed with each other, dated each other, married each other later on... it was some of the best times of my college life. Even if you're not Baptist, it doesn't matter. We had tons of fun!

Answer 3

Find a club that interests you. Show up to a meeting. Smile at them.

I'm dead serious. Somewhere, in your school there is a group that has similar interests.  They probably all hang out together. Probably ina club. :p  Just striking up random conversations works too. I'm bff with the coffee cart guys! :)

Your prof was a moron.  I don't even remember who was in my freshman classes, it was when I got into the 2nd year stuff specific to my major that I met the people I'd stick with.  (we had a similar interest! )  

Answer 4

check out www.collegetipsntricks.com and scope out the tips and tricks section, also try posting a blog and maybe people who go to your college can give you some survival tips. try giving this blog out to people around campus so they can respond to your entry. College should be great! Let this website help you!

Answer 5

First of all, your prof may have stuck with his/her freshman friends for four years; that isn't everyone's experience.  The friends I'm still in touch with 30 years later are people I met as a junior.  I started out miserable with a roommate I couldn't get along with (in hindsight, a lot of that was my fault).  Then I made friends with some seniors, who stayed for their masters degrees through my sophomore year, but then they were gone.  At that time I met a whole new set of people, with whom I had much more in common, and those were the friends which lasted.

A few suggestions:  First of all, don't expect your college friends to be like your high school friends.  Those were people you got to know over time and have real friendships with.  Right now, the best you can expect are friendly acquaintances, who will eventually become friends.  Also, there is more diversity in college than there is in most high schools.  In high school, friendships were struck on the basis of similarity.  You were living in similar neighborhoods, probably had everything from economic status to religion and values in common.  College is naturally different, and instead of looking for your twin, you might find people who are interesting specifically because they are very different from you.  My best friend in college was Chinese (I'm Caucasian), Christian (I'm Jewish), had gone to high school in the Midwest while her parents lived in Taiwan (I grew up on the West Coast) with a strong nuclear family), very naive (I was not), wealthy (I was middle class), struggled academically (I did not) and several years younger than I was.  As I said, we're still friends today.

Also, you mention leaving your door open.  Are you waiting for others to approach you, or are you also approaching them?  Remember that everyone else is a freshman too, and if everyone were sitting in their rooms waiting for others to drop by, everyone would be very disappointed!

My suggestion would be to plan a schedule of activities for yourself for next week.  Try a club, a welcome reception, a movie on campus, a sporting event, whatever.  Don't worry about going to them alone; that is probably the best way to meet people.  People are more likely to approach you because they will know they aren't interrupting anything.  Find things which interest you and make a point of going up to someone and talking to them at each one.  Saying something like, "I had no idea it would be so hard to meet people in college!" can give you an opening line.  Some people might pick up on that and take you under their wing.  Remember that you won't necessarily meet your dearest friend at your first activity.  In fact, I generally find that I need to go back to a club or group two or three times before the real connection is made.  But you will be making a start that will lead to something in the long run.

The other thing I would suggest is remembering that you are capable of making friends - you have lots of them, they just aren't there with you.  What you are trying to do is to extend an existing network.  That will make you feel less alone.  Even when you were in high school, you would go places without your friends on occasion, and it didn't bother you, right?  

Anyway, best of luck.  Give it a little time.  I know a lot of freshmen who started out badly and by the end of their first year, they were deeply popular.  It can happen to you too, but it probably won't if you sit crying in your room all the time!

Answer 6

*HUG* I totally understand - I remember crying as my parents drove away, thinking "now what?!"

It will get better!

Some suggestions..

- do you eat in a cafeteria? It's a great place to just say "Hey, mind if I sit here?"

- I met most of my friends in labs or classes, where the groups are smaller.

- Maybe just try taging along with some of the people on your floor, it may not be instant friendships, but they may know other friends that you can meet, or may know of a party that you can meet other people.

I promise, it will get easier:)