Flatulence and restaurants?

Question

What is correct etiquette if you have flatulence and you're sitting at a meal in a restaurant - can you easily get up several times without it looking odd - what do you do?

Answer 1

just pump but say excuse me after.

Answer 2

This may not work in a restaurant but last week I was on a long train journey when I felt the need to let rip and I knew it would be a loud one. Not wanting to embarrass myself I feel asleep instead. When I awoke the urge to f**t had completely gone. I have since tried this at work and at my daughters school play and the same thing happend. It's amazing!!

Answer 3

Create a diversion by dropping fork on plate loudly, chewing something very crunchy, or a coughing fit.  But never hold it in!

Answer 4

If its a group of you then don't hold it just let it go!!

Answer 5

BETTER out than in I always say?

Answer 6

i just let 'em rip .... #!* 'em if they can't take a joke

Answer 7

My saying is

where ever you be let your wind go free

Answer 8

SBD

Answer 9

Put fingers in ears, f**t, then look around as if it was someone else.

Answer 10

ask some one to pull your finger always gets a laugh

Answer 11

Better out that in is what I say...

You could always blame it on poor service and walk out without paying your bill.

Answer 12

Just f**t.  Keep a straight face and continue other behavior normally, such as conversation, eating etc.  Chances are the restaurant will be loud enough that no one will hear it.  And smell is non-directional.  It can't be traced back to you.  So don't worry about it.

Answer 13

One cheek sneaks work for me but make sure a candle is on the table.  It will create an updraft that should allow others at the table to enjoy your flatulence as well and if you are careful no one will know who did it.

Answer 14

Just do it.

Answer 15

hi windy you again is it ? refer to my earlier answer or make a feature out of it by asking someone to pull on finger like capo says heehee

Answer 16

Postpone the evening.

Answer 17

Ask them to turn the music up .

Answer 18

just let it rip........then look at the fat guy.

Answer 19

Get yourself some medicine! The pharmacist can sell you a medicine called Kolanticon Gel over the counter which is good for getting rid of trapped or excess wind discreetly.

Answer 20

Maybe go to the bathroom once, then to the car for a makeup item...something like that, vary it up.

Answer 21

excuse yourself to the bathroom or take something for flatulence

Answer 22

not much you can do really.

one night myself and my family were out one of our guests had a wind problem and she let off, then the table behind her got up and left it was that bad, it was so obvious that's why they left and she has never lived it down! LOL