Follow up to family car accident issue... ? read all

Question

Ok, now I made my son pay my sister for the foundation repair that was supposed to be done the following Monday after the accident. She now has never had it fixed, but of course cashed check almost 2 months ago. I know we promised to pay her, but I feel especially since we were trying to teach my son and that he used his own money to pay for it. What should I do, if anything?

previous question:

Would you make your child pay for his auto "accident" ?

Last weekend we went to my sister's for a bbq. My middle son, 17, insisted he needed to drive his own truck to come back early for a next door neighbor's birthday cake and ice cream. I was driving slower as I had a crock pot full of baked beans and didn't want to dump them. I called him as he was originally behind me on the road and told him why I was driving slow. He then passed me and arrived at my sister's right before me. He then proceded to back up and go forward repeatedly to try to park and ended up backing into their home's foundation. Luckily the bricks he hit were not actually supporting blocks, but for looks. Since they had a friend originally do the work, he said he would repair it at a very minimal cost ($100). Him and I had even said at the actual incident that "we" would pay for it. I was also totally embarrassed and almost sick about it. I am making my son send them the $ out of his next paycheck (he works at a restaurant for the summer) Would you? that she should actually fix it.

Answer 1

I think you did the right thing by making your son pay for the damages.  I would have your sister sign something that states that she was paid for the damages so she can't come back later and say she wasn't.

Answer 2

You did your part. He paid and hopefully learned from his mistake.

Lots of people use the money from repairs and never fix the problem.

Let it go, its on her now. It was truely money your on needed to pay. If she doesn't care how the mess looks its on her. if you son its upset about it, let him ask her why its not fixed.

You did the right thing. Now let it go. Trust me a family fued is not fun.

Answer 3

I think you did a good job in making your son pay for it himself.  It will teach him reponsibility and to be more careful in the future.  I'm sure he was also very embarresed.  As far as your sis, I would do nothing.  You're son paid i'm sure he said his apologies now leave it at that.  When you get into a car wreck you can not 'make' people fix there car in a certain time frame, same goes for your sis.  

Answer 4

You child fulfilled his obligation.  You should use this opportunity to teach your son a lesson about life.  Not everyone will do the right thing (i.e. your sister) but that shouldn't take away from the fact that he should always do the right thing.  What's important here is that you reinforce that he did the right thing and that's all that matters.  

I also want to say that I think it was wrong for your sister to make your son pay for the entire accident.  It was after all an "accident" and it doesn't seem like he did anything to cause it such as reckless driving.  A responsible adult wold have worked with you to help teach your son a lesson. It seems to me that your sister is the one who needs to learn the lesson here since she hasn't even used the money to make the repair, if I were you I would let this incident go and also learn from it.   It says an awful lot about your sister.