Food and Beverage serving etiquette. I have issues with a waitress I work with.?

Question

I work in a Fine Dining establishment, recently they hired a young lady who feels as though it is her responsibility to address everyone else`s tables, assisting guests on Menu/Wine selections etc... In my 20yrs of F&B experience, I have always been taught that this is an etiquette no no. Have things changed recently? I believe that it is my job to inform guests on my personal recommendations, wine pairings etc.. Our owner posts the odd serving etiquette tips on a message board for all the staff and I would like to post responses to this question so this server can see that her assistance is not required in the above scenario. I know she really means no harm, I have chosen to give her a little slack thus far as she is new to the city/restaurant and seems to be trying a touch too hard however, your experiences and opinions could help her realize a servers fauz pas without me having to speak to her which may make her feel bad about her actions.

Thank You

Answer 1

I seriously believe that you should say to her exactly what you posted in you question. It was honest & sincere.

I have had a server who was the exact same way and one other server (who is VERY strong minded) told her right away not to do that to her tables. And she stopped. But just with her tables only.

(It may be the same person, I just had a server move to another city not too long ago!)

You're right, things have not changed. But YOU do have to speak to her alone and tell her that you appreciate her initiative but it is a bit of overkill. It's the downside to being management. Just let her know, that besides that, she is doing a great job. Say that you know you should treat each table like it's your own, but not at the expense of the other servers. If a guest has a question, go right ahead and answer it, but there's no reason to take every situation on yourself.

Answer 2

I feel you. I don't like anyone going near my tables.  Stay away!!  I bartend, and serve in the cocktail area of our bar.  I don't even like it when someone greets my table to get drinks.  I guess alot of people feel that way.  I try to feel my guest out, so during their meal I'm aware of their mood, and I feed off of that.  I don't need someone trying to bug them when I'm giving them great service already!!!

Answer 3

If I am in a restaurant and my waiter is busy, then if another waiter-waitress should come by, then I will ask for assistance most will do it gracefully and I thank them for their service. My waiter or waitress still gets my tip if the service is good! So what are you crying about?

Answer 4

I hate that too. But as long as you have been in the business, you KNOW that sometimes a server will walk by a table that isn't theirs and the customer will snag them and ask them questions even though they are not their server.

Answer 5

I can't imagine that there's no management at a fine dining establishment.  I just don't see that this problem is your responsibility to resolve.  Either it's fine with management, in which case you'll have to learn to live with it, or it's not, in which case management is responsible for training and managing staff, so have a chat with them and bring the problem to their attention.

Answer 6

I would thank her for trying to help me first.  Then I would tell her it's your personal preference to build relationships with your guests and that you like to take care of everything, including the wine selections.  

Another way to look at it: She might be used to a restaurant where people work as a team.  It might come in handy when you're really busy to have her jump in.