Football Comedy: Sepp Blatter’s coin toss and more...
Sepp Blatter and the coin toss
The reigning FIFA President is an anomaly. Mr. Blatter has the prodigious ability of making the wrong decision even when all the logic points in the opposite direction.
Last year, a group of scientists gathered in Milan, Italy, to ponder over the workings of his complex brain. ECG and MRI scans were stolen from a local French hospital. After just two minutes of discussion, the panel called it a day. When enquired by the
media as to why it took just 120 seconds, Dr. Frankenstein exclaimed, “It just doesn’t work!”
So the million dollar question in our minds, how does Mr. Blatter make his decisions?
Coin toss my friends, coin toss. Arguably the second most used invention after Google. Blatter was dinning in a fancy Paris restaurant when he was asked to make up his mind on video technology.
“Waiter, bring me a dime”, he said. Upon receiving the poor coin, he added, “heads for video technology, it’s only fair you know”
And we all know the rest.
Adriano caught cheating
What is it with Brazilians exactly? The samba loving players are just too social for their own good.
The fitness and alcoholism issues regarding Adriano are no secret. The Brazilian has made a habit of staying out late while he also turns up late for team trainings.
Last week, the fat striker arrived two hours late for his 0800 training. Upon further inquisition, Adriano claimed that he was kidnapped from his apartment the previous night.
“The clock ticked 2200 when they arrived. They had a bottle of Jack Daniels and dragged me out of the apartment. I was told I would be given a quick fattening injection if I don’t oblige”, the striker claimed he was made to party against his will.
“I never took a drink and escaped the kidnappers the first chance that came my way”, added Adriano.
CCTV footage however, showed the former http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Inter-c39567 Milan striker leaving his apartment at 0945. The Brazilian had a Big Mac in one hand and a Heineken can in the other. Furthermore, Adriano was reprimanded by a local policeman for stealing cotton candy from a
4-year-old girl.
http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Clarence-Seedorf-c9275 runs a race
The legendary Dutchman is one of the most celebrated footballers in the world. Four Champions League trophies with three different clubs along with a cabinet full of medals and awards will make sure Seedorf will retire a happy man.
However, Rossoneri no. 10’s speed has gone from mediocre-at-best to a snail’s pace in recent years. With Clarence set to celebrate his 78th birthday this year, it hardly comes as a surprise.
Earlier this year, the former Ajax prodigy challenged the writer’s 70-year-old grandmother to a 100 yard dash. Well, Seedorf lost. Need I mention that dear Clarence was given a 20 yard head start?
Seedorf, when approached after the race, had this to say.
“sheee...cheated...cheeated”.
Lionel Messi buys Arsenal’s trophy cabinet
First and foremost, Congratulations to Lionel Messi for winning the 2010 FIFA Ballon d’Or.
Latest reports coming out of http://www.senore.com/Football-soccer/Lionel-Messi-c22296 has made an ‘Ebay’ bid to purchase Arsenal FC’s trophy cabinet.
Following the Gunners’ 2005 FA Cup triumph, Arsene Wenger ordered an Oak cabinet for the trophies to come. Fast forward five years, and the vacant piece of wood still awaits its destiny. Little Leo has decided to put the Cabinet out of its misery.
The showcase, nicknamed ‘the empty half of fame’, was put on sale earlier this year for 1500 pounds. Contrary to common practice, the price has gone down. Messi launched a bid of just 200 pounds. Apparently no one is willing to buy the cursed piece of wood.
“I got it made for just 135 pounds. We will make a profit of 50 pounds on this transfer. Not bad for a business deal”, Mr. Wenger exclaimed when approached regarding the transfer.
Nobody corrected the tactician about his ‘profits’ as all the journalists were holding their pens with their teeth. We believe they were just trying to hide their laughter.
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