For English Gourmets only... Not Americans, etc.?

Question

I should like to put together a special day's menu, composed of things which we English love to eat, but which would cause the average French person to wish he had never been born. It has to be both civilised and credible - well, more or less.

An example would be to serve deliciously cut triangular Bovril sandwiches (with supermarket white bread) for tea.

Can anybody complete the day's menu? We need Breakfast, Luncheon, Afternoon Tea and Dinner.

Answer 1

Smoked haddock or kedgeree for breakfast.

For lunch you could serve stuffed chine - looks classy, but is a bit of an acquired taste.  With plain boiled veg - ditto.

(I can only think of really nice things to have for tea, sorry!)

Steak and kidney pud for dinner, with more stodge in the shape of jam roll and custard to follow.

Then go out for a few beers and when you come back make bacon sarnies with white plastic bread and lots of brown (or red) sauce.

Answer 2

Don't forget the jellied eels, black pudding, oh, and proper cheese on toast. Not all at the same time of course!

Answer 3

Katyalov, that sounds brilliant!

Have you thought of spotted d**k with custard? They will know the words has other, less savoury, connotations - or is that sweet?

me me, you can spread Bovril on bread. It's very nice, too.

Answer 4

bangers and mash!!!

or a pub roast!!

:-)

Answer 5

Marmite and Toast (they will love it or hate it)

Stuffed Hearts.

Salmagundi

Haggis or Tripe.

Answer 6

What is "black pudding"? I am not sure I like the sound of this.

Actually the French have black pudding. It is called "boudin noir", which means black sausagey-thing. My wife likes them very much, and has one every day. But they are not French ones.

Answer 7

I suppose breakfast would have to be a full fry up which must include sausage, bacon, egg, mushrooms, tinned tomatoes, black pudding, fried bread and baked beans!

Answer 8

English breakfast - Bacon, eggs, saus, beens, toms fried bread etc.

Lunch Muffins with  Melted Cheddar Cheese

Tea - cucumber sandwiches (ok bovril if you want), scones jam and clottted cream and of course tea!

Dinner -  Tripe and onions! I love it but most people really baulk at it. Finish with Treacle tart and fresh cream.

Answer 9

Breakfast just has to be a full fry up!

Lunch would have to be something light (the French spend HOURS over lunch) er. beans on toast - no wine!

Afternoon tea...cheap processed cheese spread on white sliced bread  with margerine.

Dinner

Fish and chips and mushy peas.  Tea, bread and marg!

Answer 10

Fry up for brekkie

Roast for lunch

Cucumber sandwiches for tea

Sausage and mash for dinner

Answer 11

Snails, frogs legs and coq au vin, you Francophobic / gallophobic half wit.

Answer 12

Bacon and eggs for breakfast

Scotch broth and a bread roll for lunch

Scones with clotted cream and jam for tea

Fish and chips for dinner......

That should get these french gourmets green with envy !!

Answer 13

John B: Grow a sense of humour, my love.

Porridge (made with water and salt, more Scottish than English but anyway...) and kippers for breakfast

Eel pie with mash and liqueur and a pint of bitter to wash it down.

As you said, Bovril sandwiches for high tea.

Scampi and chips with mushy peas (ensure they are not at all crisp, you are aiming for a greasy, soggy mess texture).

For a dessert, why not do a cheeseboard complete with Dairy Lea triangles and Jacob's Cream Crackers.

It's mean what you're doing, but I like it.

Answer 14

don't forget beans on toast, chicken tikka masala, toad in the hole, beef wellington, jam roly poly, steak and kidney pie and spotted d**k.