(For adoptees) How old were you when you reunited with your biological parents?

Question

Or are you still searching/not searching? I was 19 when I reunited with my birthmom, I haven't yet searched for my bio father.

Answer 1

I never searched for my mother. I would have eventually, but we met accidentally. My mom left me with my grandparents when I was little, then stopped coming around all together and lost custody of me when I was about 4. When I was 18 I was in a pet store and my mothers husband recognized me (I still don't know how, I guess because I look like her?) and brought us together. I have posted about it on here before, don't know if you read it or not.

I've always known my bio dad, since he was my aparents' son. He came around on my birthday and christmas mostly, so I didn't know him extremely well, but I didn't have to go searching for him.

I'm 32 now, so I've been "in reunion" with my mom and siblings for quite awhile. I haven't seen or talked to my mom in over a year, but I still keep in touch with some of my siblings.

Answer 2

never have i am 16 and i cant they erased them selfes from my history forever.

Answer 3

I was 23 when I reunited with my mother.  Met him the same year.

Answer 4

I was 13 when I first met her and again at 19 when I went to see her when she was dying. I will never know who my birth father is, because for some reason my mother refused to tell me.

Answer 5

I was 44 when I reunited with my mother.  She had found me the previous year, but we couldn't meet immediately (we lived 2000 miles apart).  I was 49 when I found my father, but we were never able to meet (he was also 2000 miles away), though we did speak on the phone several times.  He passed away about a year later.  I lost my mother over 2 years ago, after only 8 years in reunion.  She was 22 when I was born.

My adoptive parents were both dead before my mother found me.

Answer 6

I was 27 when I found both parents, but I am still looking for my full brother - birth name Shane Michael Brennan born Jan 15, 1977 in Calgary Alberta, Canada

Answer 7

I'm 30 and have chosen not to search.  It's just not important to me.

But I am curious about the experiences others have had with adoption.  Everyone is different and has different feelings about their personal situations.

Answer 8

I was 17 when I searched for my biological mother.  We have known each other for 9 years.  I am currently in the process of searching for my biological father.

Answer 9

Found my first mum 2.5 years ago when I was 36. It's not a real 'reunion' just yet - as she's experiencing difficulties with it all.

Found my first dad 6 months ago. He's married to my mother!!

She was hiding my contact from him!!

Things are going slow and steady there. Haven't met yet - they're in another state - but we correspond by email and  phone.

My thoughts - keeping secrets from everyone for so long, and being told to never even talk about it with your husband have really had a bad effect on her.

I live in hope that she'll eventually come around.

I've read elsewhere that your adoptive parents helped you search?? - is that right??

You are very lucky that you had so much support & were able to search at an early age. Kudo's to your mum and dad.

Sadly - I didn't.

Edit -

That is great Weeme. I've heard that also from other adoptees - that if their adoptive parents help them to search early - that there is a greater amount of closeness within the fam.

More should give it a try.

Possum.

Answer 10

I was 21, i searched and found them both.

Answer 11

I was 21 when I found my biological mom, dad and 2 sisters...it turns out that one of my sisters was looking for me too, so the timing was perfect!  Finding all of them has helped me to move on with my life...I hold no resentment towards my biological family...I feel blessed that I was CHOSEN by my adoptive parents...what a great life I had!  Thanks mom and dad!

Answer 12

I am 36 and found my natural mom about five months ago.  I'm still searching for my natural father.

Added: I LOVE that I'm getting thumbs down for giving a completely factual answer.  As though my answer could be wrong somehow...  You people crack me up!!!  :)

Answer 13

my fathers "bio-mom" found him when he was 17 and it really messed him up, he knew he was adopted but he didn't want to know who she was. we aren't allowed to talk to him about her he says it is an insult to the memory of his real parents.

Answer 14

38 after searching 20 years.

Answer 15

I found my grandparents but only their phone number.  I called them and they said that my nmom didn't want to talk to me.

It was real swell.

Cue the random thumbs down for telling the truth about my life.

Answer 16

I was 15.

Answer 17

My husband is 54 and we found his birthmother earlier this year. She was thrilled to receive our letter and invited us to come and stay with her over the Easter long weekend.

We had a wonderful re-union and found out the answers to many questions. There were no recriminations and we keep in touch on a weekly basis.

My husband has thanked his birthmother for giving him up for adoption as he has had a wonderful life, growing up on a farm in country NSW (Australia). He could have ended up as a specimen in a kidney bowl.

Answer 18

I'm 32 and found my bmom about 2 1/2 months ago

Answer 19

http://www.findmybiologicalparents.com is a great resource for reading stories about re-uniting as well as provides a free registry for those seeking to find their biological parents or loved ones.

Answer 20

I have been searching for years no with no luck. I  try to look for free ways to find my birth parents, like with city records and such, but I think my birth state (NJ) keeps those records closed. My Mom ( AP) gave me their names and a little info. whan I was about 17, but even with that it's been impossible. I've read all the answers you've gotten from those who have reunited and I wonder how they did it??

Answer 21

I was 21. My Mom was looking for me and it was a total fluke that I found her... all hail boredom and a good search engine! WOOT WOOT!

Answer 22

I started searching when I was 18.  I'm now 37 and the State of NY are Still telling me I have no right to know my own origins, my own name - it really sucks

I don't know if my kids will ever know their genetic family history and that's really sad

I was raised in the United Kingdom where adoptees have been able to obtain their records, if that is their choice, since 1974! - when is the USA going to catch up with the times and de-stigmatize adoption?

OK cue Noodles to tell me that I'm boring for wanting all adoptees to have access to their own birth records and posting, yet again, about it yawn! (did you know Noodles said my records were sealed because of me - because I just won't let it go)  Talk about mean and nasty so now we have social workers and Judges telling us our own birth is none of our business and also perfect strangers on Y/A, thanks Noodles.  Cheers.

Answer 23

My daughter found me when she was 21, three and a half years ago. We both were looking, myself rather passively ( I was terrified!) she actively..

Funny those thumbs down for telling the truth!

Answer 24

I was in a semi-open adoption...with basically everyone in my afamily knowing who my birth family was except me. Afamily lost contact with birth parents when we moved. (Birth mom sent me cards every year on my birthday...a thought that still brings tears to my eyes to this day!)

Anyway, birthmother found me again when I was 14. Birth father is out there somewhere..

Answer 25

21 years old