For all the anti-homeschoolers out there?

Question

Are you really trying to tell us that the only place you ever learnt social skills, or made friends school? Obviously, I dont agree with you, but I am trying to understand what drives you hatred of homeschooling, I really dont get it.

Answer 1

I have been homeschooled all of my life, up till i went to college. Now then, I know both sides to the argument because I greatly dislike some aspects of homeschooling and some aspects of public schooling. So, I'll make a list now for all the haters who want to thumbs down me and stuff.

1) Homeschooling is very beneficial if it is used correctly... I started college level courses at 15 years old and was able to get very far ahead due to my studies. However, as I'm sure will be the argument of many people here, homeschoolers very very often have incredibly poor personal, social, and communication skills. I was lucky enough to have my best friend be in a very liberal public school, thus providing me with the offset to virtually no social interaction (excluding church, which at the time and still is a good 80% homeschool population, not much in the way of "meeting the world" really). Homeschooling, unfortunately, is very very often practiced by families who are also quite religious in nature, to the point of religious extremism (i.e. Bill Gothard and the ATI institute and basic life principles, which my family was a member of, another story for another day) and therefore the children, oftentimes when released into the world, either follow the same religious beliefs and line of work as the parents (many of the people I knew either went to work for their family business instead of choosing college, went to a branch of the military, or, in some cases went to ATI's CADET program in hopes of joining the military) or, as was my case, "rebelled" following a "path of destruction." (exact quotes from my parents and youth pastor-- my rebellion by the way was moving out at nineteen years old). Unfortunately, many of the parents of these children dub them rebels simply because the child did not do what the parents wanted them to. As always there are going to be the extreme cases (such as one girl my fiance knows, ran away, has been with close to 25 different guys, became a stripper) but for the most part the "rebels" simply move away from the parents and learn how to properly interact with people. I'm certainly not saying that every single homeschool family will be this way, but for the majority of homeschoolers, there is not the level of personal skills that many people find important in day to day life as an adult.

2) Homeschoolers will very often have incredible work ethics and manners. Once again, though, oftentimes the work ethic and manners will get misinterpreted as a very condescending and s****. attitude. It's not so much that the person is trying to be rude, it is that they don't know how to properly interact, therefore not interacting makes them come off in a very bad fashion.

3) Due to lack of social interaction, homeschoolers will be very loyal to a close knit group. The downside to this is that since they do not have much interaction outside that group, they do not know how to properly conduct themselves in a public setting, thus making many people look at homeschoolers as very immature.

In summary, I guess what I'm trying to get at is that, just like everything in the world, homeschooling is good "in moderation." I know some families who homeschool their kids and they will be just fine in the world as adults (unfortunately i can only say some because most families are not this way). However, far too many families are either religious "fanatics" or far too overcontrolling for homeschooling to be looked upon as a benefit. Like so many things in life, the few negatives will outweigh constant positives. So while there are homeschoolers who are "normal" if you will, the few that are totally abnormal (socially and mentally) will always be the ones who will get stereotyped. I didn't let anyone at my work know I was a homeschooler for a good eight months just because I wanted to let them know me for me, but if I would have said I was homeschooled early off I would not be treated the way I am now. Homeschooling is good in theory, but all too many times it is twisted and becomes more of a hindrance than a benefit.

Answer 2

I wonder if Trish can explain where she gets her information? I'd also like to know her explanation as to why our poorly educated children are kicking public school tush in standardized tests and getting into ivy league universities in ever increasing numbers. Please, do enlighten us.

Answer 3

i dont hate homeschooling but personally i wouldnt do it mainly because at a certain point i couldnt help my son with math i suck at it and i can see y some people are against they probbly only see the negative effect it has in some cases i knew a bro and sis that were homeschooled and their mom did it because she thought having them at home to cook and clean and having the bro have a job was more important she never taught them anything and they never got a diploma but i also know people who might as well have been in college they were taught so well, i have nothing against it i see it as more one on one time to learn more and the childs knowledge will probably be greater than someone in a public school that doesnt get alot of one one time and has more disctractions such as talking sleeping in class and passing notes

Answer 4

Anti-homeschoolers are brainwashed people who don't think they are smart and buy into the garbage that comes mostly from the teacher's unions and school boards worried about loss of Federal Funding as kids drop out of school, budget cuts and lay offs.

The truth of the matter is, homeschool ONLY affects bad systems where may layoffs should happen!

NO ONE takes their kids out of a good system, with high college marks, good resources and equipment that is safe.

People only take their kids out of prisons that are one sided, Atheist conclaves, over crowded, unsafe, metal dector ridden boxes with horrible teachers who have no equipment to teach with...

Answer 5

Trish - your answer doesn't even make sense.  Any "credit" our kids get, they work their backsides off to get - precisely because of people like you who think that they are "substandard".

Is that why homeschoolers generally score along the top percentages on standardized tests, get into top colleges at younger ages, and tend to be quite successful?  Because they and their educations are substandard?  Wow, thanks.  I never knew that.  You learn something every day.

DHC - I do respect your answer, though I don't agree with it.  Sorry you apparently won't respect mine, but I'll give it anyway.

Yes, a great public school and an involved, supportive family do make a great team, and there are some incredible public schools out there.  I'm glad that your kids have one available to them.  However, mine doesn't.  (I live in a large city in Oklahoma.)

My child has a school system that is infinitely more involved in making sure a child can catch a pigskin or throw a baseball by the age of 7 than they are in teaching a child to their full potential.  The four or five school districts surrounding ours, as well as our district, follow the lovely practice of voluntarily holding student athletes back in elementary school in order to "groom" them for varsity sports in high school - and the parents go along with it, willingly, because their child will have a varsity number if they shut up and play along.  Meanwhile, these children, who start out bright and full of the need to learn, end up retaking a year or two of the same material by fifth grade.  They get bored, they're told that academics don't matter, and they put all their energy into playing on four competitive teams per year.

By the time our kids are in 8th grade, they're statistically working on a 3rd to 4th grade level - likely because that's the last time they were told that learning is more important than sports.  Our state even had to form its own dumbed-down version of the NCLB test so that it could claim that our kids are passing with at least a "C" - but compared to the national standards, they are getting straight "F's", like across the board, every subject.  One of our five local districts takes state in football, baseball, and basketball every year, though...boo yah.

Our local high school also has a 20% drop out rate, and that's on the lean years.  It's gotten as high as 28% over the last decade.  It's also the most affluent school within 100 miles, but you wouldn't know it to look at it.  The kids there, just to look at them, are scarier looking - and acting - than actual gang members in LA.  I actually felt safer working in downtown LA than I do taking my 10yo son to the McDonalds near that school on a weekday.  Nice.

I homeschool partly because I don't want my son growing up in that.  We don't all have fabulous, or even halfway adequate, public schools near us, so we have to make that choice.  I don't homeschool because I want to be part of some exclusive club, or because I want to shelter my son - I homeschool because I want him to have an actual chance in life.  I do respect your reasons, and I understand them.  I only ask for the same consideration in return.

Answer 6

Simple:  I don't want your kids to get credit for the same things that MY kids have credit for, when their education is sub-standard.

Answer 7

Wow. Well. Not to your question but some answers. Can we say irrational? Illogical? Presumptive? I'm not even going to start pulling a certain one apart to show the errors.

Let's just boil it all down to them being anti-homeschooling because of judgementalism.

Btw, I thought this was Yahoo Answers--ANSWERS, not opinions--and that when information is perceived as incorrect, it will get a thumbs down?

Answer 8

Trish, that is why home schooled children on average out perform any conventionally schooled student, start college at an average of two years earlier, and do so well in the work place, and are more likely to be small business owners than anyone else..

http://www.nheri.org/

Tell me again how prepared many of our high school graduates are?

http://www.studentsfirst.us/resourcecent...

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/...

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/education...

Answer 9

Ignorance is the roots of hatred

Answer 10

I find it telling that anti-homeschool posts are always based on personal feelings.

A question was asked a month or so ago challenging homeschool critics to back up their assertions with legitimate research / data.

Not a single critic responded to this.

Rather, they always resort to expressing their feelings; they are often rude and insulting; they rarely answer the question posed.

Answer 11

To DHC: "Learnt and Learned: These are alternative forms of the past tense and past participle of the verb learn. Learnt is more common in British English, and learned in American English. There are a number of verbs of this type (burn, dream, kneel, lean, leap, spell, spill, spoil etc.). They are all irregular verbs, and this is a part of their irregularity." End of quote.

Now to the subject: I knew nothing about homeschooling a few months ago. I've been a teacher for many years. A good and successful one.

I think that homeschooling is not for everyone or every situation. Neither public nor private schools are.

My son is currently in seven grade. He was a "difficult child" since the beginning. I got tired of going to school meetings and listen to teachers and principals telling me that my child was misbehaving, that he couldn't pay attention, that he wouldn't respect authority. Since we moved to Canada, he has grew up shy and depressed. He now says he's stupid, he can't learn and that he hates school. I can't make him read even when all our family loves to read and we have hundreds of books at home.

My little child, in the other hand, was so excited at going to school! He learned to read by himself and was brilliant and sweet. After going to school for 2 months, he was crying and saying that school was boring. I told the teacher that he was bored because he already knew how to read and write. She told me they were all learning the alphabeth and that he had to continue because of the "socializing" issue. After a year, he began misbehaving "because I'm bored, mom". There are some "cute" girls at the classroom that ask him to do funny and dangerous things such as throw on mud  or water. Because we are immigrants, my son now thinks that he has to do whatever they ask him to do in orther to have friends...What a lesson in socialization!

For me, homeschooling is the only way to rescue my children. I can manage to "socialize" them less, taking them to courses that interest them, participating in community events, volunteering and going to field trips.

I agree with you that some parents should never take the homeschooling road: if a parent can't compromise him/herself to learn along with their children, or to take them to different activities. Or if a parent homeschool for the wrong reasons: like to have their kids at home to work for him/her, to do chores and to be brainwashed about the world. Some parents neglect or abuse their children too.

But for the same reasons, I would say that some teachers should not teach either: when a teacher can only think in discipline and punishment, when can't understand that a child may need more time, more love and acceptance, or just a different way to be taught. When a teacher neglects or abuse his/her students. When a teacher makes a brilliant and sweet child to become an angry, disrespectful child that hates school, books and learning.

Many children are taught that they are at school to have good grades. That they need to do their job "as the teacher likes it" and not as they like it or because they have to learn through it. They are taught that being "cool" is more important that being yourself. That they need to learn to fight back or lie or cheat in order to get what they need. They learn, at the end of the school years, that learning only can happen inside a classroom and that only an "expert" can teach them (and they can't learn by themselves), that learning sometimes is painful, boring and hard. That there are many things they "have" to learn and they are either not interested or they won't need them at all.

They also grow up becoming more and more apart from mom and dad and more and more attached to peers that may be good or bad (because it is a lottery what you'll have in your group).

They also learn that there is free drug and s*x and that they "need" to have cell phones and new clothes and shoes in order to be accepted.

Answer 12

I completley agree with you in regards to DHC!!!!!!!! How can you find out about life and such if you listen to what the school tells you about it. Listen to your parents who went to school and went through life and understand things from a different point of view. Not the schools, but the lifestyle they have chosen for their child!!  I am NOT an anti homeschooler. but i will tell you, if any 'religion' is out there it is the school system. Whatever they say goes and thats it. Sure you are allowed to speak you opinion, but how can it matter in a class of 18? And even at that, nowadays, when you speak up for an opinion, you get shot down by kids in your class who think you are trying to be a teachers pet!! my mother grew up in the country lands of Kentucky at for a 9 year period Michigan, and lets see, she learned the type of math she has never needed to use in life, the science that got her nowhere, and language arts which i will admit is a main player in life. However, was it THAT, that convinced her to marry at sixteen? Is that why she understands so much about marriage and is knowledgable when it comes to such things? Or is it the fact that she went to school that got her to the point of owning two different companies and more??? no, it wasnt school tat helped her make those choices, it was herself!! And that is why i am omeschooled, because SHE went through those heartbreaking mind bending times that got her to where she is now. If i were in school, I wouldnt be able to hear and see the mistakes that she made and learn from them. I am a homeschooler because my mom went through life the good way, and the bad way. and she is trying to teach me the good way. And as far as i am concered, shes doing a d**n good job. And DHC, you have your head up your *** and its so far up there, you will  need surgery to remove it. Have a good day.

Answer 13

"there is a reason that our school systems have such strict guidelines regarding who can or cannot be a teacher. "

Have you actually LOOKED at the "strict guidelines" of which you speak??  I seriously doubt it.  Here are NJ's:

http://www.nj.gov/education/educators/li...

In NJ new teachers are only required to have a 2.75 GPA (out of 4.0). A 2.75 !   From what we are told (never with the actual number, mind you), New Jersey has the "highest standards" around for teacher certification.

Answer 14

I am not an anti-homeschooler, but I wish to contribute some thoughts.

Child education starts at home.  Parents and family members help the child form his learning foundation.. including values, good manners and right conduct, socialization, managing  family affairs and the like.

However, there are EXPERIENCES in the classroom and in universities that cannot be had at home.  Like, classroom debates will expose the child to various opinion on a subject matter and thereby contribute to the further development of the child's sense "fair judgement." which was first learned within the home.  Socialization is also better experienced as the child meets more people of his level and professionals -teahers and other school/ university authorities. After all, there is this popular saying that goes "experience is the best teacher."

I guess home schooling and formal intitution schooling should complement each other.  What a child could learn best at home (I believe is VALUES) should be taught at home.  And what the child can learn best in a formal learning  institution like the arts and sciences, liberal arts and others - should be taught in a school or university where most appropriate.

We all want the best education for our children.  Let us be open-minded. Let is not limit their world of learning. Let us give them the support and experience they deserve and guide them to the road to success!

Answer 15

I am a public school supporter and anyone who has read any of my answers regarding the subject of home schooling knows my feelings...  That being said... are you home taught?  I am asking because "learnt" is not a word and I'm assuming you mean "drives youR hatred...."  I do not have a driven HATRED of home schooling, I just feel that there are more positive opportunities that are developed with children who associate with their peers.  I feel that schools are better equipped to provide more diverse learning and socialization than a parent.  I feel that a positive home life coupled with a supportive school is the perfect combination for success.  I don't feel that parents who are not equipped to teach should be doing so, there is a reason that our school systems have such strict guidelines regarding who can or cannot be a teacher.  Some parents do go the extra mile and get their children involved in activities, but there are also many who do not.  It is the families who shelter their children from everything that the world has to offer and feel that homeschooling is the way to do that and the parents who control their childrens grades that I have issues with.  Also, the parents who home school and do not provide their children with the social, analytical and self assurance needed for the real world.  I did make all of my childhood friends at school as I lived in an area where I did not have many neighbors.  Children learn social skills from the day they are born.  Parents instill socialization from the very beginning by simply smiling at their children and that skill is further expanded by being with peers.

Also, if you are anti homeschooling let me warn you now that any answer you may have will be blown under the bus, because I've been told that I'm not allowed to have an opinion on this topic, because this is apparently a home schooling support group and not actually a place where people can give their honest opinions on the subject...  So if you plan to answer this, please be advised that your response will not be respected... as mine never are... but, I will continue to answer these questions and give my opinion regardless to the ridicule and ill banter that follows....

I have provided plenty of reasons for my position.  Now, this question was geared and addressed to anti-homeschoolers.  That being said this should be answered by anti homeschoolers and not by members of your unofficial YA homeschooling support group.  I have gone above and beyond answering this question to the fullest and did not "rant" until I was attacked.  Yes, I do have opinions and yes, I did and will continue to share them.  Sorry, but if you had read my answer fully you would have noticed that I said "some" parents are not equipped to teach.  I never underestimated your child and I would never underestimate the power and brilliance of any child, regardless of their settings.  If you did not want the opinions of people who support public school, then you should not have addressed it to them.  Please before you attack my answers, read each and every word and do not twist them around.

Answer 16

I'm 14 and home schooled and it has been the best thing I have ever done! :)

Obviously I'm not a hater of the home school system so this doesn't really answer your question but I thought I should just say it anyway :D

I'm home schooled because I was badly bullied in both schools I have been to.

Some people fit in at school. Others don't (like me)

Why do other people think they have the right to criticise the way that a parent chooses to bring up their own child? If the school system works for them, thats great! All the best to them!

But it isn't for everyone.

And people saying that us home schoolers have no social life...WHAT? How would they know?? That reeeeeally annoys me! How would they know what goes on in my life?! Cheese! *ahem* Anyways! That's it...sorry for going on :)

School is NOT compulsary ^_^

Answer 17

I mean no disrespect toward the anti-homeschoolers, but they really need to be educated concerning homeschooling.  Most of their comments are based on misinformation about how homeschooling is done.  They act as though we keep our child(ren) on lock down in the house which is far from the truth.

Sometimes I think the word "homeschooling" is actually a misnomer and contributes to the misunderstanding of what educating one's own child(ren) is all about.  Perhaps we should refer to ourselves as parent-teachers, parent-educators, and to homeschooling as family-based education, etc.  I am not sure these terms would clarify anything for those who are misinformed.

If someone wants to find out the facts about homeschooling, there are many resources available via the internet.  I, for one, try not to indulge in conversation on a topic that I have not researched.  My parents taught me to listen and learn.

When I became an "accidental homeschooler" as a response to my son's boredom with 1st grade, I did a lot of research about homeschooling and found teaching resources that work for educating him.  I realized then, and still realize, that there is much to learn.  That's the beauty and wonder of homeschooling--I, along with my son, learn so much and we are both the better for it.

Answer 18

I dont know why that person was so nasty. Of course you can learn at home, my parents taught me lots, although I also went to school, college and university but I dont doubt ones ability to learn at home so long as it is structured and organised. Take care

Answer 19

I'm a 17 year old homeschooled student. I find homeschooling is an excellent way to learn. I have attended  schools twice, and found it a very negative learning experience- I was going to be raised two forms above my age, in both instances. Socially, I feel that homeschooling has given me a true sense of my individuality- I am able to relate to people of many different ages. I dress fashionably, I have had boyfriends, I love relating to people of my own age group. I find that I am more intimate with my family than schooled children. I do know some homeschooled children, and I must say I have been unimpressed by most of them. Their parents are mostly ill educated and not seriously interested in intellectual things. Therefore, I understand the demurrs of anti homeschool people. However, I must say that there are many, if not more, schooled children in an equally bad state!