For all the mommy's out there?

Question

It sounds horrible but I am sooo tired of being mom! I can already hear everyone..Then why'd you get pregnant..yadda yadda. I know I'm not the only mom who feels this way It's not that I don't want my kids I love them very much but I'm worn out I just want to hide from them I need a break and my husband doesn't get it...He like "what do you want me to do??" So the real question is Ladies how do you recharge yourself ? I feel like I'm falling apart! I feel like a caged animal

Answer 1

If there's a lack of money I wait till after my little one has gone to bed and lock myself in the bathroom for a good hour. Shower, powder, lotion, whatever makes you feel best. Every once in a while I just go spend some time shopping, for necessary things but, alone, without the hassle of a little one. Buy yourself a book or a magazine, find a cheap place to get a massage, or go to your local tech school if they do cosmetology classes and get a cheap color or perm. It's the little things you do for yourself that can make or break ya.

Answer 2

My husband is deployed so I never get a break. I havent for 6 months and we still have 6 months to go. When my son sleeps I so whatever I want. I read,sew take a nap etc. He only naps for 45 mins during the day and wakes up about 10 times a night. I think sometimes too MAN it would be easier if I wasnt a mom but then theres times where I couldnt be happier. I think it happens to everyone at one point or another even if they wont admit it. Once in a while to recharge I have a SMALL glass of wine. You wont fall apart you'll keep yourself together for your family. You have to remember that you are still you and when the kids go to bed its you time. Have the hubby watch the kids and go get a pedicure. You can do this! I dont think it's bad at all to feel the way you do for a bit.

My goodness Scientist stop stalking me, your thumbs downs are really hurting my feelings, I mean your opinion matters so much to me!

Answer 3

I leave my husband with a bottle and our baby and go take a nap! Tell him what you want him to do. Have him take your children for an outing so you can have some alone time or go out by yourself.

You're not a bad mom for feeling this way, we ALL get this way at times. And you do need some YOU time every once in awhile to keep your sanity.

Answer 4

Ok 1st off your not a horrible mom for feeling this way.  Every parent has at some point in time even if they wont admit it.  My husband works 6 days a week from 8 am-9pm so I definetly know how you feel.  He'll tell me "I dont know what you want me to do about it honey..."  I dont do it often but about once a month I give him no choice I get dressed on his day off and tell him I'm going out for a little while and then......I LEAVE ... I ignore all protests from him and the kids and I go.  Usually I'm only gone for a hour getting coffee but it helps.

Answer 5

when i need a break (and trust me we're all the same) i go hide in the bathroom. see I'm a single mom so i have no one to be there. but if you go hide then your husband has no choice but to take charge. also i wouldn't give him a choice I'd just tell him flat out I'm going to a movie so enjoy being a dad. after all he signed up for parenthood same as you

Answer 6

I go to work full time.

Answer 7

tell your hubby that you need a day just to pamper you and you would like him to watch the child or children.  If he won't ask one of the grandparents if they would like a day with the kid while you go out

Answer 8

I can remember feeling like that when I had 3 young kids at home.  It's normal.  What worked for me was working out.  I know it's not for everyone, but I would go running or cross country skiing, or just walk in the woods and enjoy the peace and beauty of nature.  The exercise took away all my stressful feelings, and seeing trees and water and sky was very healing emotionally.  By the time I was finished, I looked forward to going back into the house with my kids.

Of course, I was fortunate enough to have an understanding husband who would stay home while I went out.  We took turns and helped each other get away, and that was good for our marriage too.  I am also lucky enough to live in an area where it's easy to get out on the trails.  

But even if the outdoors isn't your thing, the idea is the same.  When he says "what do you want me to do?" tell him you need to get some quiet time to yourself, whatever that might be for you.  He'll soon discover that he benefits too - you'll be a happier mom and wife, and he'll share many precious moments with the kids.

Answer 9

Yeah, you need that getaway or else you will be pulling your hair out. My mom always did everything when my brothers and I were really little and no one ever gave her a break and she was run ragged. Needless, to say she turned to drugs to cope with things and stayed on them for 10 years, she's been sober for 2 1/2, but no one deserves to have their entire lives focused on only one goal, like raising kids. You are still a person and need things for yourself and if your husband doens't understand then you need to either make him or get a grandparent, aunt, uncle someone to watch your kids for a couple of days while you have "me" time. Nothing good comes from and overworked, overtired, underpriveleged mom. Also, dont feel guilty that you feel that way it's human nature to want to be albe to have time to yourself away from the kids....

Answer 10

well I take a long candle lite bath soft music or I take my son to his grandmothers house and tell my husband to get out!!!lol not exactly like that but he gets the point,Also when my son is taking his nap I sit on the do alot of stretching or I dance alittle to get my heart going,it gives me a quick boost of energy.I hope my outlets help you,and I do know what you mean it is very tough being a mommy but I am sure you are doing great and tell your husband that it is normal and not to be so objective of you taking time for yourself.oh and if you like music try learning the piano it is so nice to play music.

Answer 11

Most ppl would say you need a vacation, like with your friends and no one else. I guess you could do that but when you get home you're just going to want to go back on vacation mode. So just try and wait it out, your kids will grow up and you will miss them and ask them why they never visit you anymore. Adult don't think they go through fazes but they do and this is want your in now a faze.

Answer 12

no your not alone, I understand exactly what you are saying. In your every day circus of bottle feeding and butt wiping and becoming a walking tissue you begin to lose who you are and what you want. Men will never understand we just have to accept it but they can watch the kids once and a while so we can go out and do something for ourselves without someone hanging on our leg. Just tell your hubby you have made an appointment to get your hair done or your going to get a  pedicure or just going out for the day.  You need to think about yourself once and a while. it might help if you come home with a cute peice of lingerie fo him to enjoy.

Answer 13

Go on a weekend trip with your sister, girlfriend, mom, or whoever.

Just shop, relax, swim, or anything else that you enjoy.  Sometimes it's good to just get away from everything.

Answer 14

Carnival Cruise!  Its perfect!  There is an adult only section on every ship for you to be relaxing.  There are activities for kids aged 4-17.  The activities are safe and fun and they even give you a pager in case.  It may seem stressful but it will be worth it.

Answer 15

my husband totally gets it because I make him get it LOL just tell him that mommy needs a timeout that's what I say and my husband just says go ahead hun do you need my credit card or are you staying in? seriously that's all I say when I'm feeling overwhelmed and it works. and I will either take a long bubble bath or I will go out with some friends. there is nothing wrong with needing a break. take it you have earned it.

Answer 16

I have regular pedicure appointments.  I get there a little early stop in at Jamba Juice and get myself a treat and then relax.  Also, we live in a condo community and some times I sneak away to the pool by myself giving my husband and son "guy time".

There is notihng wrong with needing a break, you are human.

Try to find some thing adult that you can enjoy be yourself or with girlfriends and set up a regular date to do these things.

Answer 17

I'm sorry you feel that way but I have to admit, it comforts me to hear other moms say that!  I felt that way just the other night because my 10 month old was giving me a very hard time.  I felt so guilty for wanting him to go to sleep so I could just take a shower and lie down : )   You need a little you time.  Do you have a hobby you like?  I'm training for a 1/2 marathon and the exercise really helps me relax and feel rejuvenated.  It's also nice to have something to do that's just for me.  Running was something I loved before I became pregnant so doing it makes me feel like "the old me" and when I get home, I'm thrilled to be a mommy and I have a much happier attitude.  Good luck!

Answer 18

ahh the great quest for ME time. look not all husbands get it. not that they are bad or insensitive if they don't they just don't understand they go to work and when they come home their off duty. plain and simple. weather you work or stay home a mom's job is 24/7. no days off do sick days and no time clock to punch at the end of the day.

if hubby doesn't get it yelling and pouting won't do the trick in the end all he hears is you telling him he doesn't do enough. result he tunes out and you are still where you started.

so here is what I suggest. find a sitter for a few hours, your mom his mom, one of your girl friends what ever. then take a bath,take a walk. read a good book what ever you wish to do. trust me your husband will notice the difference in you. your happy calm and may even feel a little frisky{rest does that} now he sees the result he may be more willing to give you that all important hour{h**l half an hour of peace and quite works wonders} a few times a week.

Answer 19

On the weekends my husband lets me sleep in and he starts the day with the kids.  And twice a month I go out with a friend shopping or to the movies or to get a drink without the kids or hubby!

Answer 20

I have to believe that all moms feel overwhelmed at times. You're definitely in good company. I find that the best way to combat mommy fatigue/burnout is to have a strict schedule with the children. That way, they know what to expect as far as bedtimes and such. Momma time begins around here when the oldest child goes to bed at 8:30, younger at 8. Provided no one is sick, I'm in the clear for a few hours of relaxation! It may take a few days for everyone to get into the habit of a bedtime if you've not established one, but it's well worth it! Good luck to you.

Answer 21

There is nothing wrong with you at all, I personally think this is normal. What you’re saying is that you have very little “me” time. And I have to say, I FEEL YA!

I could really use a break, even if it was just 5 minutes. LOL. We all love our children to pieces, but we also need some adult time too. NO harm in that….

Answer 22

Ok, it's summer vacation the days are loooong I can totally understand what you mean I get like that occasionally, I don't have the option of a sitter (I have 6 children)and honestly my husband isn't that helpful. So the things I find that help are, a good book to read at night or to read if I get the kids set up with something to do that I can just sit and supervise. Also getting together with a friend of mine with kids the same age, to share a meal go on an outing etc. sometimes I just try and forget the things that have to be done, or rules that have to be enforced and just let myself have fun with the kids, let loose and get silly that helps alot! getting out of the house boosts my spirits also, maybe a hike or the zoo somewhere where supervision isn't key and the kids can kindof run free (well except the littlest : )And most of all I pray ALOT.

Answer 23

I was a single mum of two until 10yrs ago. I raised both of my children (now 34 and 26). It was bloody hard being alone all those years without someone behind me. I never had anyone say to me 'what do you want me to do'? You are not a caged animal! You have a husband to fall back on-after all, they are his children too. In a way, I can count myself lucky that my children were a bit older. Then again, it's a case of Sara sara, whatever will be, will be!!

Answer 24

I would not feel guilty. Everyone needs time to themselves. That is what you need and you need to tell the husband what it is you need him to do. Tell him when he is watching the kids and when you will be back. Go out and so something.

Answer 25

Sounds like you need a little getaway, for a weekend, all by yourself.  Could your parents take the kids for you for a weekend?