For all those on this site who believe in adoption?

Question

Do you also believe that reforms to adoption laws and practices need to be made?

Is it true that you can still be in favour of something, without saying that you think every single aspect of it is wonderful?

Where did the idea come from that just because someone thinks adoption is a great thing in the right circumstances, that they don't see the need for reforms?

Answer 1

Since I live in the USA, I'll use it as an example.  Saying that someone who wants reform in adoption is, therefore, anti-adoption is like saying that someone who doesn't support the war in Iraq is anti-American.  Let's face it, is there ANY American out there who doesn't feel that at least one aspect of American policy ought to be changed?

Expecting adult adopted citizens to have the very same rights as non-adopted citizens certainly doesn't make a person anti-adoption.  It just makes that person pro-equal rights for all under the law.

Answer 2

I was adopted at 7 yrs old and lost 3 brothers due to this, they were placed elsewhere. Thanksgiving dat this year I finally got to reunite with one who was adopted at 7 mths old. 40 yrs is a long time not to know your blood family and Thanksgiving day I was ecstatic when I met one of my siblings Hope to locate the other two soon, Yes they need to reform some laws to keep from splitting family up such as my case

Answer 3

absolutely!!

I'm pro-adoption mainly because I'm very ANTI abortion, but I'll be the first to believe you if  you tell me that the adoption laws and practices have problems and need improvement.

Basically I see adoption as a VERY good alternative to abortion, which I believe is murder..   But of course, the mother keeping her baby is often the best scenario.. depending on the situation.. Sometimes adoption is better for the baby and mother than keeping it..

Answer 4

I agree.  I think the first answer you got to your question makes it crystal clear why there is ignorance and apathy about having adoption reformed.

People just don't know the problems with the system and if they do there is a general apathy with regards to doing anything about it

Answer 5

Yes, Yes Yes adoption's need to be reformed. Father's  need to be informed no more I don't know who I slept with or father unknown. Most woman know who they slept with and need to give all names so DNA can be done.

  Dna done at the hospitals for all children put up for adoptions. Father can pay hospital for dna to cover cost or the adoption agency this prevents the year long wait .

  No child should be able to leave the sate without both parents consent or a judge ordering it this help in adoption agency from hidding the child from the fathers to use best interest.  Yea alot needs to change.

Answer 6

Yes, Yes and I agree!

We have a beautiful daughter who we adopted at 9 months of age but I definately feel that there is a lot about the adoption system that needs reform.  Australian laws are different to the U.S. laws but i think reform is needed everywhere.  People should have a right to information about their origins and especially about their own medical history.  There should be laws and proceedures in place to make sure that children are never trafficed and that that the rights of both sets of birth parents are upheld.  There should also be laws to make sure that adopted children, adoptive parents and birth parents can not be discriminated against.  I could go on and on!  Unfortunately the legal system is not keeping up with the times.

Answer 7

Adoption was best for me in my case. I know that not all adoptees had a good experience. In that respect it is alot like birth families. Some people are born into wonderful families and have great childhoods while others are born into disfunctional families and have it rough growing up.

Just because someone is approved to be an adoptive mother/father, dosen't mean they they will be a good one.

However for some, like myself adoption saved me from a really bad childhood. So I do believe in adoption.

No I do not think adoption is perfect and YES there DO need to be reforms.

I think the biggest things that need to be addressed are the rights of the adoptee to have access to their birth family's records.

I think that when a child is born is has th right to know it's medical, cultrual and family history. I think that s/he has the right to be able to get answers about the why's of their adoption.

I think that if you give birth to a child, then choose to place it for adoption, you at least owe that child an explaination, be it in the form of a letter to be given to the child at a certain age,or perhaps contact someday when the child is older.  

I always thought that my birth mother didn't want me because there was something wrong with me. It was not a nice feeling and I had alot of esteem issues because of it. Later when I met her, she told me how she had not wanted to give me up, but the fact was she had issues in her life that prevented her from being a good parent. She told me it was HER issues and had nothing to do with me. That made me feel alot better.

Anyway that is JMHO as one who has been adopted.

Answer 8

because if those who support adoption on this forum believed in reforms, i think those who point the fingers would stop being so rude to so many of the people on this forum. You know theres only like "one or two" people here who don't support adoption in its entire state. Allllllllllllllll of the other adoptees on this forum are PRO-reform and NOT anti-adoption. But they are continually are lumped into the same category as those who want to see adoption at a complete hault.

YES its very possible for people who support adoption to believe in reform of the industry. And it goes the other way too. People with all kinds of beliefs in adoption believe in reform, however I think the reform movement must be lead by adoptees, and us only. Only we know exactly what it has been like and only we ( with the help of those who love and support us ) can change the industry and make it better for the future.

Answer 9

I believe in adoption. My adoption experince was good. But not everything is perfect. So, I feel that yes reforms need to be made. One of them being is a closer home study for adoptive parents. There are some cases where the adopted child is being abused by the adoptive parent. These cases get in to the news and then casts a bad light on adoption, besides giving fuel to the anti-adoption movement. I feel that a birth mother gets the proper counseling so she knows what a huge decision she is making. Also too to help her thru the months afterward for relinquishment of her child. For adopted children who have bonding issues(yes, there are some).

As for someone thinking adoption is a great thing and there is no need for reforms. I think that statement comes from people on here that make fun of adoptees who have issues with their adoption.

Answer 10

Is it true that you can be against something without saying that every single aspect of it is negative?

Where did the idea come from that just because someone thinks adoption has a darker side in some circumstances, that they don't see the need for adoption in some cases?

Your question reinforces the fact that adoption does, in fact, have positive and negatives involved. I doubt that anyone here would say that adoption is wrong, period, in all circumstances. What is being said here is that there needs to be reform to protect all of the involved parties. Adoptive parents get the smelly end of the stick too. I have said as much here. They should have better access to information and assistance should their child not adjust well or have "issues" surrounding the adoption. I know how hard it is to deal with a child who is grieving a loss for many years, I was one of those kids and I talk to my dad about it quite often. There needs to be reform, end of story in my eyes.

Answer 11

I think (as a PAP) that adoption reforms need to start with the adoptive parents.  Until we start forcing agencies to be ethical, and use ethical practices, the agencies are going to do "whatever it takes to get children" for the people who pay them>  Which, unfortunately, is NOT in the best interest of the children being placed for adoption.

I do not know how many times I see how biological parents feel they were coerced into signing over their children.  I personally, no matter how desperate I get for a child, would NEVER in a million years take a child from a parent who wants to keep the child, unless of course, it was a foster placement and the state has forced termination of parental rights.

I have seen foster parents get all angry when a biological relative steps in to try and gain custody of the child that has been in their homes.  I understand the heartache of losing a child, BUT the nature of foster care IS TO GET THE CHILDREN BACK INTO THE HOME WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.  Sorry for the caps, but I want to stress that.

Until people stop thinking in selfish terms, the adoption system is going to be corrupt.

I am all for adoption, if it is done in the most ethical way possible.  I would even say I am pro-adoption.  Because I think adoption, if done right, is a wonderful tool for finding homes for children.  I just think we, as potential adoptive parents, and adoptive parents, need to work on changing agencies.  If people don't use an unethical agency, how long do you think they will be around?   I think another aspect of adoption agencies, should be getting as much help as possible for pregnant woman who are thinking about adoption only because they are unsure how they are going to be able to afford a baby, or another baby.  There are a ton of government funded programs, and agencies should be able to point to them, so that if the only reason a woman is placing her child is financial, well that lessens her burden.  

I don't care how much money I make, I do not think I will make a better parent to a child then his/her biological mother, just based on the amount of income our families have.

Ugh, I am going on and on again.  I just know what you are saying, and I agree, just I think fighting on here is not helping, and we all should be working together to reform adoption in the country (or even around the world).

Answer 12

I don't think there are many perfect laws.  Yes, I do believe in adoption.  My husband was adopted and although we have met his birth mother, I'm glad he grew up with the parents he had.  Adoption is alot better than abortion or a child growing up in many bad situations.  As with any law, there are ups and down sides.  Those who have issues should contact their local representatives in an intellectual way and express their concerns.

Answer 13

Yes and YES!  I believe adoption can be a good thing and that it needs heavy reform.  

I think some people are threatened by the idea that adoption is not one hundred per cent sweetness and light because they don't want reality intruding on their fantasies.  (I hope that doesn't sound ugly; I just can't think of any other reason or any other way to phrase it.)

Answer 14

I think adoption has its place.

I also think a lot of change needs to happen in THIS country (USA).  I'd like to see the changes that were made in Australia be implemented here; I think Aus. really has it right where adoption, and what it SHOULD be for, is concerned.

Starting with adoptee rights and ending with no mother ever losing her child due to poverty.

Answer 15

I think the basic idea is good...but there are many many things that could be changed.  Just about every law could be reformed....except maybe Thou shalt not kill...

Adoption has many positive points but has been ruined by those who have focused on the money instead of the real people involved.

Answer 16

of course the principle of adoption is a good one, but the system in place needs overhauling, but when dealing with people a "one size fits all " approach is never going to work.

Answer 17

I think it comes from the same place as the following idea:  everyone who raises questions about the way adoption is practiced today is anti-adoption.

See, if everyone who raises doubts about any aspect of adoption is anti-adoption, then the so-called "pro-adoption" people must think it's all wonderful.  Otherwise, they would be right there with us, asking questions.  

If those who think adoption has problems and needs reform are anti-adoption, then by the simple rules of logic, those who first label those people anti-adoption, must believe that adoption is wonderful.  

Perhaps what you should be asking is why are those people who ask questions reevaluating adoption are labeled anti-adoption?

Answer 18

The world is full of perfect ideas that somehow become less than perfect when implemented.

   I'm adopted and think that getting adopted was the best thing that could have happened to me. I know that the system is far from perfect and reform is much needed, but like they say "Rome wasn't built in a day".

Answer 19

i am a believer in adoption, i was adopted. and yes, reform does need to take place. no system is perfect but the flaws about adoption are down right obscene

communism was a good idea too, a country ran by the people for the people and you see where that ended up. belief in something isnt enough.

Answer 20

What needs to be reformed?

Answer 21

Yes, I believe adoption CAN be a very good thing under the right circumstances.  Yes, I believe the adoption system should be reformed in many ways.  Yes, I thiink you can be in favor of something while not thinking every aspect of it is wonderful or perfect.