For anyone that is a spouse of a railroad conductor?

Question

What is life really like for the spouse of someone working for a railroad company. I hear alot of talk about the crazy hours conductors work and how they are never home. So what is it like for the spouse, is it awful or is it something you just get used to.

Answer 1

as a career railroader I can tell you a few things about what it takes to survive as a spouse.

my wife is quite independent, she likes it when I am there of course but if I am not there, she still lives her life.

a very difficult balancing act.

It was hardest on her when the kids were small I think, there were some tough times but she is strong and independent.

A lot of railroader's wives that need their spouse there all the time just dont make it.

Sad to say it is very hard on marriages.

Some get used to it, some just never do. In our case, it worked well because if we were together all the time she would get tired of me and kick me out.

Good Luck, it can be difficult, if you both have a spontaneous personality and dont need a strict schedule it can work, depends so much on the individual.

Answer 2

Excellent question.  Though not a spouse I can offer some insight.

A successful railroad career begins with a good railroad wife at home, and a good railroad wife is usually a strong, independent type of person.

You'll likely be alone when a child needs stitches or breaks an arm on the jungle-gym, ditto in the case of being sick with a bad cold or the flu.  It is equally likely that you'll attend some school plays alone or have hubby gone once in a while during some sort of holiday or birthday celebration.

But it's not entirely the end of the world, unless you're not comfortable or capable of handling these types of things when the ol' man is out of town.

Still, it isn't as easy as it sounds.  My first two wives weren't good railroad wives, but number three has checked out just fine.

What I'd like to hear is comments from a spouse whose WIFE works for the railroad...

Answer 3

Even though I am not married, i live with my father and I can tell you what it is like for someone that works on the railroad!

-It will take time getting use to the hours that he/she may be working.  Railroads run 24/7 and my father might pop in at 2pm and have to go to sleep.  He would probably be called out for a train at 10pm if there was one.  For the most part, you can count on him/her being called for a train.

-A lot of times depending on Season, Business and what commodities that section of line handles my father was out of the house no more than 3 days a week as he would be placed in a hotel at the other end of his route for rest and bring back a train the next morning/night/whatever.

-However there are some circumstances, where someone will mark off of a job such as a (local freight) and my father was gone for an entire week working the job at the other end of his route.  

-As i said the hours are crazy, he/she does care about you because this job pays very well, puts food/shelter over you.

-Also if he/she retires from the railroad after working ex. amount of years, etc. Railroad Retirement not only covers he/she, but if married the spouse receives half of what he/she gets on top of that!

Lots of benefits and something that you will have to get use to.  The railroad has its rewards!

Answer 4

My wife likes it when i go to work, it gives her time to do whatever she wants around the house.  She knew what the job was like before we even started dating, and has come to accept that sometimes plans must be broken. She understands that it is not because i don't love her, but because the job is demanding in that respect.

If you have a strong, trusting relationship with your husband, i would say that it is a good opportunity for the both of you.  Just please be understanding that he is doing the job for YOU, he wants to give you something better, and it is demanding of his time.  It will be a stress on your marriage if either one of you let it.  

Just make sure that you both trust each other to not fool around when he is out of town, and understand that harassing him about missing juniors recital is not going to help.  He already understands that it is important, and doesn't want to miss it, but if it comes between not being there sometimes, or not putting food on the table he is being responsible and doing what is right.

I am not saying that you would do any of the things listed above but i know that a good majority of railroaders are divorced (some many times over) but that is because (in my opinion) they always put the job first.  They never paid enough attention when they were home to know when they needed to stay home for a day, or two to work on their marriage or their relationship with their family.

I hope that i haven't been too confusing with my answer.

Good luck, and if he is going for a RR job, i say go for it.... it is rewarding, and pay is good.... most railroaders enjoy the job, but not the management.

Answer 5

I'd get my wife in here to answer this but she's too busy dancing around the phone hoping it will ring and i'll go to work! Sheesh i've only been home 5 days.Oh well.They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.Albert gave you a pretty good answer already anyways.

Albert are you a clone of Bob kinda like Rango did?