For moms that went back to work, How did you cope?

Question

My husband and I decided that I need to go back to work. we don't make enough to support us for me to stay home. I have been a stay at home mom for 18 months, and I love it. I don't want my son be cared for by someone else. I feel like a bad mom, that I can't stay here and still provided for him. I'm so scared to leave him with someone else, I here of all the problems in daycare and I don't want my son exposed to that. I will only be working part time. How did you deal with leaving your child? and how did you decide who would take care of you child? And did you feel depress about it? I'm so depress that just want to cry about leaving him. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I also went back to work recently after being home for 18 months.  I am fortunate enough to have family watching him.  But it was still hard to leave him.  Becareful that your feeling about leaving him with someone doesn't transfer to him.  You want him to feel comfortable and not anxious.

Answer 2

Do you run two cars? If so, get rid of one. Do you buy new clothes? Dont. Do you go to the hair salon? Stop. I stay at home even though my husband is on a low wage...I do it by not driving, never buying new cothes or having my hair or naild don....LOADS of time for that once my children are at full time school and then I will work. In the meantime, I cut RIGHT back....I mean I cook everything from scratch...I buy second hand stuff all the time....you might be able to do it if you have a look at your income....work out where you can cut back....

Answer 3

going back to work is really not that bad. i know its hard. i am a single mom of 3 girls. i went back to work right away, i was lucky enough to hire my little cousin and have her move in with me. she watched my girls while i worked up until just this month when all three of my girls went to school full time. it was great having her here so the girls were comfortable at home. it worked out great for us. daycares arent that bad. you just have to find the right one. its good for kids to have other kids to play with. i always had my kids in swimming lesssons, or just other activities to let them play with others. your son will adjust just fine. it is scary at first but it will all be ok. remember its more scary for you then it is for him. if you show him your sacred and worried he will pick up on it and start to be scared. put on your brave face for him!

Answer 4

Well I am due at the end of October.  I am going back to work in January.  I already found a daycare I am comfortable with.  I will be nervous at first but I think after the first week I will be fine.  You just do what you have to.  I mean you have to make money to live.  My daughter didn't go to daycare until she was about 2 1/2 I was just lucky with her to have my mother watch her and her father while I worked.  But once she started she loved it.  Daycare isn't a bad place.  For all the bad stories you hear there are way more good ones.  You just don't get to hear all the good ones.  In daycare they always got someone to play with and learn so much.

Answer 5

I grieved.  Later I found out that I wasn't the only one - leaving your child to go back to work feels like a very real loss for many moms (though not all).   I did send them to day care, but not until they were 2 or older.  Before that, I hired college students to babysit at my house and tried to alternate work schedules with my husband.  But still, I'd get jealous of the sitter when I left for work. Why did she get to be with my kid instead of me?

I was fortunate to have some very good child care options near the college campus where I work. My husband and I visited a lot of places and finally selected a private licensed preschool.  It was expensive.  As for babysitters, we advertised at the Early Childhood Studies Department on our campus. We interviewed at length. We checked references.  Then we prayed that we'd made a good choice.

I had to remind myself constantly that my grief was way worse than theirs - in fact they seemed perfectly happy to stay with a sitter or go to daycare - and that by working I was doing the best thing to secure their future.  I would have much preferred to be a stay-home mom, but it wasn't possible.  I have no regrets, but I can't say you totally get over the grief either.  You just do what you have to and go on.  The older they get, the less you second-guess your choice.

You are a good mom - the fact that you're sad just shows that you have a healthy bond with your kids.  You will all get through it.