For my bridal shower can i just ask for honeymoon wishes?

Question

im going to type something really nice in the bridal invitation all i want is honeymoon money because to be honest i dont even think im going if i dont do this. what do you think will be take it like wrong or something or should i just go for it ?

Answer 1

My husband and I put "In Lieu of gifts a card basket will be available" on our invitations. We also sort of spread the word through friends and family when asked what we needed. It worked like a dream, we only received two gifts and the rest were cash and gift cards. Yay!!!

Answer 2

You can register for this at:

http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/

This way you won't look tacky just asking for money.

Answer 3

Any cash requests are to be done quietly through word of mouth, and then you take any gift graciously. Honeymoon registries are considered tacky by lots of people, and cash requests are even worse. Even on the shower invite, you don't refuse other gifts! If someone is throwing you a shower, you need to go no matter what people give you! They should be sending the invites anyways, why are you writing stuff on them? You don't throw showers for yourself.

Oh, and you should not expect any specific amounts. If someone hands you $5 you still need to be thankful for it and write a note just like you would for $500.

Answer 4

People will be offended by it, so you have to decide if offending some of your guests is worth it. I personally wouldn't, but that's just me.

I find a much better option is just to not register or not to register for much since this encourages people to give cash.

I know it really stinks to not be able to take a nice honeymoon, but do what can do without needing to beg your guests. Even a night away in a different town nearby could be nice.  

Answer 5

You are never supposed to mention gifts on an invitation.  It is considered very rude.  People will just get you whatever they want anyways.  If you can't afford a big honeymoon then just get a room for the night or the weekend.  

Answer 6

It's offensive and off-putting.  I would just not register and take it from there.

Weddings are expensive, but under no circumstances should you impose gift requirements on your guests or depend on your guests to help subsidize things.

Answer 7

It is very insulting to your guess to ask them to give you money.  Most people out of respect and the goodness of their heart will give you money for a gift.  Don't be trifling and tacky and ask for it.

Answer 8

I've seen this done before.  The wording on the invite was something like "In lieu of traditional gifts, a financial offering for the couple would be appreciated"....or something like that.   I wouldn't necessarily say that the funds are for your honeymoon.   I would look up an article on etiquette to be sure.  

Answer 9

No, this is not a good idea.

How do you have a shower?  What are you going to do...sit there and open all the envelopes?

You cannot "register" for money.  And, contrary to what others have said...a honeymoon registry is tacky also.  There are "catches" to everything...so the catch to the honeymoon registry is that YOU need to pay in order to set it up....OR, your guests need to pay extra for the "services."

Please think of things you need for your home...or else forgo the shower.

Answer 10

i have asked this same question to everyone i know, they all know money is tight and if your like me youll only have good friends and family at your wedding i do not think its tacky, we worded on a seperate insert in our invites that listed the type of dinner we were having and announced we would have a cash bar and then added we would like everyone to know we are registered at target and we will also have a wishing well at our reception to help with our honeymoon. And so far no one has said a thing and thought it was well said. we purchased the wishing well from party city they can put cards and etc. in it. dont worry about other people, believe it or not a lot of people feel better about the money thing bc that way they know youll get more use out of it, you get what you want and your honeymoon is possible. A honeymoon can have lots of cost. goodluck and congrats and dont worry about it! i promise itll be fine!

Answer 11

Asking your guests for money is rude, no matter what the context. You accept whatever gifts you are given graciously.

Answer 12

I had a lingerie shower... lingerie for every night of the honeymoon (and then some)

While money is NEEDED, I get it, I would tell them tell them where my registry is and leave it at that. Most registries allow you to request gift cards.

Just put the honeymoon on a card and worry about it later. You wont feel weird or anything about having to explain that you blew others money on getting your drink on in a ritzy honeymoon-time bar. ya know?

Answer 13

Why are you planning your own bridal shower??? I've never heard of that.

But anyway...I think that is very rude if you do that.

Answer 14

I agree with Bridal Muffin. If you ask for cash, it is rude. However, if you include the link to a honeymoon registry, that is perfectly fine.

Answer 15

ok, sweetie, i think a lot of people mis understood you (i hope so anyway)

when u said if you dont ask for money you arent going - i am hoping you meant not going to be able to afford a honeymoon?? right? not that you wouldn't go to the shower. ...right?

with that being cleared up, let me put it this way. when you have a birthday party you dont tell people what to get you or how much to spend (lol-you might with your FH) but friends, etc. get whatever they want to get that they think you will like.

like i said when i answered your question about the wording on the invititation - there is a very small very vague line between being tasteful and being tacky when asking for money or gifts.

I do empathize with you. most girls have a daddy that pays for the whole wedding. there are a lot of spoiled people around that get what they want because thier parents/grandparents can afford to give it to them.

my father died when i was 13, my mother has multiple medical problems (and no $$) and neither my fiance or i have grandparents. we are barely going to afford the wedding nevermind a honeymoon.

i can see where this would be a great idea and a good way to afford a honey moon, but i would stick with the websites, and word of mouth. anything else may be too much.  

Answer 16

Um....you should not be doing anything for your bridal shower, planning, invitations, or otherwise.  This is something that should be thrown FOR you not BY you.

If you want to register for a honeymoon, do it.  If I saw that in the invitation I would give it to you.  Hey, it's all about what I can afford from what you want.  If I can afford towels, then it makes no difference to me if that same money is used towards your honeymoon.

Your attitude does bother me a little, though.  If you're not going to go to your own shower because you don't like what people were gracious enough to give you, that's a problem.  I hope you aren't letting THAT aspect shine through to your guests!

Answer 17

you're throwing your own shoer? oh that's so....don't you have anyone to throw it for you? uck!!!

I've seen many peopler egister for their honeymoon, but dont' ask for cash it's bad enough your throwing your own shower.

Answer 18

Instead of just asking for money for your honeymoon you should register for it.  Then people can pay for specific things for you to do on your honeymoon (a dinner out, visiting a tourist spot/museum) and it's a bit more of an "official" present than just asking for cash.

Here are some websites to do it:

http://www.thehoneymoon.com/

http://www.forthemoon.com/

http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/

I found a couple other sites just by using google, because me fiance and I are doing this (since we already live together and have lots of house stuff).  There are a lot of different services that offer this.  You can probably do it through a travel agent as well.

Answer 19

If I were attending a bridal shower, I wouldn't have a problem giving the bride (really, the couple) money toward their honeymoon. However, I think I would prefer to donate it to an online registry rather than just handing you cash, or purchasing an activity for you to do on your honeymoon.

However, some guests may have a problem with it. NEVER put registry or gift information on the invitation. If you have a wedding website, you can put your honeymoon wishes there, and have your parents and wedding party spread the word.

however, it's not guaranteed. Guests will give you whatever they want. You can't dictate what they bring, but I'm sure your efforts will push them in the right direction.

Answer 20

When would you ever have access to your own shower invitation? A shower is given for you and planned by others. Your only involvement is submitting a guest list if asked and showing up when directed.  The shower host lists registry info in your invitation.  

Half the fun at a shower is watching the bride open her gifts. Who wants to show up to watch you open 20 cards saying you got donations to your honeymoon shower?

Answer 21

This is definitely rude, but you need to inform everyone why you are asking for the money. But asking for guests to pay for something you should already have saved for is just tacky. You don't have a wedding and expect guests to pay for it just like you don't go on a vacation(honeymoon) and expect people to pay for it. It's your wedding and you are "hosting" a party for them which means you provide and they give you a gift in return if they can afford it, not expect them to pay for it. It's like a fancy dinner party. You don't invite people to your house for dinner and charge them $20 a plate do you? You might as well charge people at the door to get in!

In your situation, just don't register and hope for money.