For parents: How did you know that having a child was the right thing for you?

Question

I would like to have a child someday because I would like for my husband and I to have our own family, but I'm concerned about the pain of childbirth. I'm also concerned about the amount of stress involved in parenting...my sister has a daughter and two stepsons who are just starting school, and she is about to go out of her mind with all she has to deal with. I'm just wondering, with the increased stress and worry, how do you know that having a child is the right choice for you?

Answer 1

Any mom will tell you she is about to go out of her mind.  I did.  But parenting is the most fulfilling job I have ever had.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  Yes, childbirth is painful.  But the amazing thing is that most women forget the pain and have another kid!   I thought labor was the most torment I could possibly stand but then I had another child years later.  Parenting is stressful.  I won't lie to you.  But the joy you get from being a parent somehow out weighs the pains of it.  My oldest is now 26 and just got married.  He drove me crazy when he was little.  He was sooo hyper.  And he could figure out almost anything.  He was such a hand full and even in my womb he was very active.  

The worst years in my opinion during a childs growth is around 2 years old and teenage.  Both stages they are learning their independence and how to think by themselves.  2 year olds get into everything and want to explore everything.  Teens, well....do the same but in a different way (outside the home).  Kids are a lifelong commitment.  They don't stop being your "baby" just because they are grown.  You have to decide if you want to make that commitment.  Do you have extra love to give?

Answer 2

Just ask yourself a few simple questions. Do YOU think you would be a good parent? Do YOU think you could handle it? If you answer yes to these questions, then I would say go for it. What does your husband think about having a family? Try discussing this with him. Spouses can provide some awesome insight to something you are struggling with. Let me tell you the pain is worth it. It really isn't all that bad either. I had my son totally and completely natural. Only you can make the decision on whether it would be worth it. I am so glad I had my son. I couldn't be happier. Yes, there are some moments when I want to pull out my hair but then he laughs or smiles and it makes it all worth it.

Answer 3

We'd been together for a few years, lived together 2 years, and didn't have any reason not to start a family. We both wanted kids, so once we had everything in order we got pregnant. It's only as stressful as you make it. Of course there are moments(particularly teething!), but for us it isn't really a big deal at all. We were more stressed prior to having kids, just getting everything in order to be able to have them lol. It's just smooth sailing now. As for the pain of childbirth, thats a bit overrated as well. Yes it hurts, but you live. Mind over matter, if your calm and relaxed and just let the baby work its own way down...your fine. If your freaking out and tense and pushing for hours then yes, it's gonna be bad.

Answer 4

I didn't really "know," so much as "felt." I'd always wanted kids. My  ex-fiance and I weren't trying, but we weren't not trying, either. The relationship has since dissolved (he was abusive and I was NOT going to raise a child in that setting; he has no contact with us now). I still want more kids, but not yet; I have my hands pretty full with the one I have, since he has cerebral palsy and I'm a single mom.

As far as the pain of childbirth goes, they have drugs for that. I can't speak for them, because I had a short, relatively painless natural labor. By the time I got to the doctor after my water broke (only about half an hour), my son was already presenting and there wasn't time for drugs. I've heard that the best indication of your labor will be what your mother went through. My mom had short, easy births. So did her mother, and her grandmother. So it appears to be genetic.

The stress is a normal part of parenting. Babies rely on their parents for EVERYthing, and that means midnight feedings and three am diaper changes until the little tyke is sleeping through the night. The average age, I'm told, is 7-10 months, but my son still doesn't sleep through the night and he's almost 3; conversely, some kids sleep through the night within the first few months. Kids will always be pushing the boundaries. Even the sweetest, most obedient children will have their days where they just do not want to listen. However, most mothers will tell you that they wouldn't trade in their crazy, busy lives for anything. I certainly wouldn't change a thing about my son. I love him, medical condition and all, because he is my child. I haven't looked back since the day he was born, and I can't imagine my life without him now.

Answer 5

I didn't believe in abortion and I was 26 years old.

Answer 6

I really don't think anyone knows because there is no way to know what being a parent involves until you're doing it!  As for me, I have 5 kids and I love being a mom.  Yes it's stressful.  Yes it's tons of work.  But I believe each of my kids is truly a blessing.  And believe me, because I've delivered 5 babies - all the pain and problems of childbirth go away when they hand you that tiny little bundle.  Good luck.

Answer 7

I was really grossed out by the idea of having people around me while I had a baby, I always said I would be happy to go off to a field on my own and  have him - but as it turned out, I had an emergency c-section.

You'll do just fine at it. It's not as hard as it is with other peoples kids because this one is yours and you would love it no matter what it did. You can be so mad at them but they are still your baby and you'd die for them. Other peoples kids can be annoying, trust me, it's different when it's yours.