For people who enlist in the military only ?

Question

Army, Navy, Marines etc...Would you say when your just starting to go in would you rather have a significant other waiting for you at home ? or would you rather have no strings attached and get to your career first before finding your other half ?

Answer 1

A significant other can be good for moral support and letters and such, and also gives you someone to look forward to seeing when you go home.

On the flip side, if you don't have a deep and stable relationship, you may have concerns about fidelity, and you might even meet your "soulmate."  Unless you are married, I would break it off and if it's meant to be, then she will be waiting for you faithfully upon your return. AND the stories of so many soldiers I've heard are nauseating..."here's a pic of my fiance"  spoken by an 18 year old fresh out of high school, or "yeah my girl's at home waiting on me"  and stuff like that are just annoying. The only time those stories sound good are when they are spoken by an older recruit or married man.

Break up and get on with training, she's too much to worry about while you're gone.

Answer 2

Keep the connection, but unless it is super 'hot', let it cool.

Write letters every week, and see what happens.

People change, and grow.

Once in a herd of E3s, finding a date anywhere is hard to do.

Having someone from back home that might come out to your duty station once a year to visit is really nice. We have had relatives and freinds come visit us at each duty station. We have shown civilian friends around London, Rome, Paris, etc.

But you do not know today if you will grow closer or further apart. So don't seal it with marriage, yet.

God bless you, good luck :)

Answer 3

My bf just left for infantry training for army. Someone told me, if he didn't love me and didn't want to try to make this work , and we haven't even talk about marriage yet, that he would of broken up with me before leaving for boot camp, instead of putting me through all this. They say the guys grow up a bit during basic. He will be 21 end of this year. Im 23 . Well see where we go...some say once we start writing letters, we will become closer. So we shall see. Do what feels right. If this personl is really for you, you will both make it work somehow, and it doesn't mean you gotta get married. And if you aren't ready to be with just one person and want to date and have fun, then don't put him/her through this! It's very hard for those of us who are left behind to wait =)

Answer 4

with the divorce rate for enlisted soldiers i would recommend if you wish to get married or have a serious relationship,don't do it while enlisted a deployment can really make it difficult for that special someone waiting for you at home

Answer 5

It really depends on how serious the relationship is but i can tell you that nobody wants to get a Dear John letter.....

Answer 6

From my experiance I found that most pre-enlistment relationships regardless of there length before enlisting will last betweeen 6 - 9 months.  Someone gets lonely and cheats, someone feels unloved and cheats or meets someone closer and breaks it off before cheating.

Answer 7

I went in with a girlfriend - and the time spent apart (est 2000 miles) was too much for both of us to handle.   We only saw each other every 6 months for 2 weeks at a time.  We were both way too young anyway and both were just getting our lives started.

I ended up not getting married until just before retirement (20 years).  I am glad that I waited as I was able to party as much as I wanted without the obligation of family.  No worries about getting transferred or going on deployments.  

I still consider myself young and have been retired now for 10 years.  I have 2 boys and have no need to party all the time since I got that all out of my system.