For ppl with bipolar disorder only plz?

Question

almost two years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. b/c the term "bipolar" is used so frequently anymore i refused to believe i had it and refused treatment. i had just lost my mom to cancer and went thru a divorce so i just figured it all would pass. well i experienced my highs and lows leading to a dui, a week in the psych ward, being temporarily disowned by my sister and her fam, random s*x, binge drinking, bankruptcy from excesive spending and ditching work. last year, labor day weekend to be exact, i got into an altercation with my ex husband which lead to an arrest that carried one felony charge and two misdemeanor charges and my ex was able to take my then 2 year old son away from me. anyway, the charges were reduced and i was put on probation for a year and it is stipulated that i have to take my meds and continue counseling. i know this all sounds bad and really it is, but unfortunately its what it took for me to see that i did indeed have an illness. a year later i have custody of my son back and finally the last few months have seemed NORMAL, until now. recently i've been binge drinking to the point i black out, spending like crazy again and just having crazy thoughts. the other night, during one of my manic episodes, i went out with new friends whom i've never drank around and made a complete jerk of myself. i wasn't mean or anything just had a lot of fun and embarrassed some ppl. i apologized by text, but havent heard anything back. its sad too, b/c we all were getting along just fine til that night. anyway, it was at that moment i realized something was wrong. my shrink says i'm rapid cycling and says my meds need adjusted. now i've prob lost friends i really like and who liked me up to that point. what scares me is there are no warnings when the meds just arent working right. usually it takes something like this to tell u that something isnt working. for those who have been getting treatment for this for a while now how do u deal with this? i keep reliving that night in my head and want so badly to set things right b/c i'm not THAT girl, but i think i've done blown it. i'm so afraid of not being able to have healthy relationships with new ppl in my life. my fam and current friends know how to deal with me. i'm not gonna announce to everyone i meet that i have this and from time to time go nuts. any insight on living with this disorder would be so greatly appreciated!!

Answer 1

living with the disorder here, the signs are too apparent, and there's always a clear reason behind everything. Cause and effect.  Some is inheritance, yes, but why?  

I've thought it through and I believe, if there's never going to be an answer behind the mass outbreak of depressed people (which there is now of days), then it's just natures way of managing an overpopulated world...make a large portion of it die off through depression.  From there, we wonder, who controls nature? Most people believe god does, so be it, god will be my subject now.  Why not solve a problem a bit more efficiently, than risk an entire population to the dangers of the depressed?  A depressed person can be the most dangerous person in the world when combined with power,  because depression reflects anger as to why it exists and anger as to why other people don't feel depressed as much. Anger with people.  Anger with the world.  

Hitler was angry and depressed obviously, and wanted to try something new.  That is what depression can truely lead too if not cured,  but how can we cure depression?  Drunken it down?  Do we even have a cure yet?

My answer is to help take your mind of your own depression and help your feel better. i hope it did.  Lots of people suffer it, so we all share a big hug around the world.  Let's all take a deep breathe and do something we love today instead...

Answer 2

for my bi-polar, i keep track of anything not normal in my life, like a journal of only weird things.  I review it now and then and if i start to find a pattern, i talk to my doc right away.  i lost my marriage because of my bipolar and add combination and ended up getting my meds corrected too late.  my closest friends know i can freak out very easiliy and know to just chalk it up to me being me.  people that i don't know real well, i don't put myself in a situation where i could do something inappropriate.  it may kill some of your lifestyle but it will be better for you and people around you.  mental illness is not totally accepted by people yet so it can be hard.  drinking on meds is not good either. meds will intensify the alcohol so drinking should be a minimum.  you need to find a healthier release than what you're doing.  you should look into a support group for some help.  doesn't need to be long term but get some ideas how others handle their to give you ideas how to handle yours.

Answer 3

Responsibility for your illness is key here.  My friends are aware of my illness...that was extremely important to me because they are a part of my support group.  They were very understanding and because of their awareness of my illness they recognize when I am having bipolar related issues.  When I don't want to go out for days at a time they don't just think I am ignoring them---they lend a helping hand and realize that I may be having a depressive episode and need their support.  When I freak out over the smallest thing they know it isn't always ME talking.  I wouldn't announce to EVERYONE that I am bipolar but to those who mean as much to me as your friends seem to mean to you I feel that it is important that they know.  You may be surprised with how understanding they are.

Answer 4

It takes time to learn your triggers and signs but eventually if you pay attention to yourself you will find that there is some warning. Maybe not much but some. I have Klonopin which I rarely use but if I feel myself becoming agitated (or even if I start masturbating too much, one of my signs), I start taking it as it calms me down. if it goes on for more than a day or two I call my pdoc before things get really out of control. Half the problem is that mania feels so good that we stop paying attention and just enjoy the ride. Make sure also that the people around you that you can trust are very well versed in your symptoms and are willing to step up and say "Hey, you......" and listen to them!!! Hang on, listen to your doc, learn as much as you can about bipolar and you, and it will get better.

Answer 5

Having a companion to help me through this illness has made all the difference in the world.  I have someone to monitor my behavior and get me to the dr if he thinks I need a tune up without having to declare to the world that I have an illness so they will understand when I occasionally go off the deep end.

The last psychotic break I had was over two years ago at a point in my life where in addition to having been diagnosed with diabetes, HBP, low thyroid, my asthma had worsened and I was under a tremendous amount of stress.  For once, I could feel it coming, but I was helpless to do anything about it except step up my sessions with the dr to once a week and add more meds to the medication regimen I was already undertaking.

This is a life altering disease and not many people are sympathetic.  Probably because they just can't get their minds around what it is really like to live with this.  We live in a society where criminals are caught in an hour episode interrupted by 30 minutes of commercials; where it's quicker to watch the movie than read the book and where people have come to expect answers for everything.

There IS no answer for bipolar disorder ... at least not at this point in time.  Scientists are working on it, however, think about how many diseases science has ever actually CURED versus TREATED.  Only one:  smallpox.  For everything else, you simply treat the symptoms until the disease goes away of its own or goes into remission - neither of which is going to happen with bipolar disorder.

Bearing that in mind, it isn't a hopeless situation if you can surround yourself with a support network of people who at least TRY to understand.  And you must be vigilant in seeing your doctor regularly as well as adjusting your medications when necessary.

If you have a friend or family member who is willing to take on the task of monitoring your behavior for you when you are changing out medications or therapies, more the better.  Best of luck to you in managing this insidious disease.