For richer or poorer or plain being used?

Question

My husband is not a bad guy. He gives me everything I need, but our issue is money. He has made so many promises regarding jobs, but he never followed through. I find myself in control of everything, not because I want to be, but because I am the one with the money. Sometimes I find myself treating him like a child because, he is not contributing to our family. He use to have a good job (before he met me) and his mother and family tell me so much how he use to be such a good worker, but i have yet to see it. he tells me all the time that one day he will show me, and I am trying not to be impatient, but sometimes its like "fck, be a man and go do what you tell me". I sometimes find myself being a little resentful of him. He gives me all the love, attention, respect and everything that I could ever ask for. The only issue is he is not contributing financially to our household. Am I bad wife or do i have a valid concern?

Answer 1

Would he be resentful towards you if you were the one with a lesser job?  Or if you didn't have a job?  It doesn't sound like he would, so I don't think you should be resentful toward him, but I do think that he should contribute his half financially.  If it was my situation, I'd make him the house"husband".  If he washes all the clothes, does all the dishes, and the shopping, I would consider that to be his half of the deal!    

Answer 2

I understand your problem and where your coming from.. If he is activly attempting to seek employment and keeps getting shot down and all that stuff be very respectfull.. It may be hard on him right now.. Imagine if you did not have a job and were trying very hard to get one and he would say little coy remarks about it.  

Now if he isnt even looking I say you have a VALID point, but if he is carring and gives you everything you need other than money.. perhaps a firm talking to would be in order.  Good Luck

Answer 3

Your husband sounds like a LAZY A$$. Why are with him, how long do you think love is going to last. I think you should give him an ultimatum, get a job and help us or go back home to your parents. I mean c'mon all he's doing at home is taking up space. Good luck:)

Answer 4

A marriage is two people working together.  Maybe you do too much.  You find yourself "in control of everything."  Does he have time and opportunity to be the man you need him to be.  Maybe you need to step back so he can step up.

Also keep in mind, men need their wives motivation and also respect.  Even though you are thinking "be a man."  Don't say it aloud.  Give hiim the motivation and encouragement you need, and if it means some things don't go in perfect order at every given time so be it.  

Even though you can handle things on your own, stop being superwoman and give your husband the opportunity to pick up so slack.  

He just needs a different kind of push.

Answer 5

Thats BULLSHIT.

A Husband is supposed to be the PROVIDER.

YOU are being used!

Yeah, "for richer or poorer"....that doesn't mean HE DOESN'T HAVE TO PROVIDE!  WTF!

Like I said, YOU are being used.

Answer 6

You do have a valid concern. How long has he been out of work? If its a few months I'd cut him some slack, if its over a year, then you need to let him know. Marraige counseling might be in order here. Carrying all the weight of the present bills and not knowing what the future holds can be really stressful. No one wants to treat their lover like he's their kid and losing respect for him can break your heart. Maybe he is in a depression and doesnt realize it? This is something you cant ignore, you need to do something to save your marriage.