For single moms, are you angry at the father?

Question

Lately I've been so enraged about the fact that the father ahs not had to do anything and now that we're talking about child support I feel almost insulted. They want him to pay about 100 a month. I've spent 20 times that on baby stuff and doctors bills. And now he's telling me I have to learn to compromise with him over visitation etc. He has a girlfriend and travels and plans on moving even further away (he lives in another state) and I am just so pissed that he gets to do whatever the **** he wants and then turns around and tells me I'm being self centered and childish. He keeps saying he's taking responsibility but I beg to differ. It just all seems incredibly unfair and somehow he thinks I'm the a*****e in this situation. Anyone else go through these kinds of feelings?

Answer 1

When you conceived this child did you not think about the possibility of a relationship breakdown and the eventual resulting situation you could end up in.

Consider the fact that at least you have the custody of the child which is something most fathers do not even get close to having after a relationship breakdown.

Answer 2

when i was prego i went through the same ****! sorry to say but it doest get much better BUT  once the baby is born if you take the dr bills + baby stuf + ur bills and paycheck stubs to a judge or your case worker you will get more child support but only after the baby is born

good luck with everything

i hope you get it resolved!

i know how hard it is to go through this by urself i did it when i was 17. now im happily married and we are trying for one of our own

Answer 3

I have in the past with my 1st daughters daddy. he was a butt. It wasnt there at all. and never paid support.

and I wouldnt let my daughter go into another state like that.

First off it can be confusion on the baby from leaving on house to anther. and you will see that the child will become cranky..Babies dont like change at all.

and I think that what they make the father pay is quite S****y...

I think they should have to pay way mroe than that...And thats retarted...he should have to pay all doctors bills...they make them where I live....Either way I wish you the very best and your baby......GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

That sucks, only $100 a month. I don't know if this is court-appointed child support or what you guys came up with. But if not then go to court get the child support order, and get the visitations together. Make sure you show them what your monthly expenses are. So they could factor that when determining how much he needs to pay each month.

My daughters father hasn't started getting his garnished out his check yet because his job is slow, but he is already over $1200 behind on child support. So what the court did was factor that into the original monthly amount so now its a lot more. But if he was taking care of business and at least make a small effort to help me take care of her then we would have to go through this at all.

So I am not angry at him, I am disappointed at him, especially since he talked so much about how he will always be there for his baby (since his dad wasn't) and he will always provide for her, but he has bought her 2 boxes of diapers, one pair of shoes,.....maybe 3 outfits. My daughter is 10 months old. And to this day he thinks he is Super DAD!!!....and gives me the hardest time about it...what a a*****e.

<<Sorry I was venting>>

But don't let this hold you down, we all have our life lessons, it only makes us stronger

Answer 5

Oh yes!

My ex thinks his 11 yo son & 8 yo daughter don't deserve child support unless it is on his terms since I am pregnant with my boyfriends baby.

I filed for support in October after he left us destitute last year, but he always has some sort of excuse for not complying with Child Support Enforcement.

He makes about $1k a week, so he is nowhere close to being short of money.

He works under the table & on 2 social security numbers so it makes things harder to get him to pay up.

His new girlfriend has already told him she never signed up to be a stepmom & doesn't want to be bothered with my kids.

So s*x means more to him than blood.

Yet he keeps threatening me anytime I answer his phone calls & has tried brainwashing my daughter into believing I don't want her.

My son sees what sort of person his dad is & has refused contact.

I refuse to force them to see him, so next he either takes me to court for visitation or he keeps acting like they don't exist.

Answer 6

I am a single mom with four kids (ages 13, 12, 2, and 7 months). I know exactly how you feel. The only difference is I do not get any support (works "under the table" so it can't be deducted, and just refuses to pay), and my kids don't see their dad either. His choice!!!!!  It is really hard at times. I just think that as long as my kids are happy, then really he is the one losing out. I do know that if he is in another state, and he wants visitation, then he will have to move closer or it will be denied. You have been the primary caregiver and will continue to be. Try for sole custody based on that fact. I have sole custody of all my kids and no decisions can be made regarding them unless I agree. Good luck with everything.

Answer 7

$100 dollars?? a month????

WOW that is so low!

Anyways, make sure you sue him for child support. The government make him pay more and he wont forget because they will garnish it out his paycheck. Also, if he stopped working, it will accumulate until he works again. You should do this the right way, let the government be involve in it before it's too late.

Answer 8

I know how you feel. Im going through the exact same thing. I only get 161 a month...

email me if you want to talk