For single parents.... moms and dads???

Question

What do you find the hardest about being a single parent? Why aren't you with the child(ren)'s mom/dad any longer? Do you think it's affecting your child(ren) if the other parent is not actively involved in their lives?

Answer 1

I have now raised 1 boy and am still raising my daughter.  With my son when I got pregnant his father and I were not in a relationship meant to be permanent.  He always knew who his father was but there was no contact with him until he was I believe 24 years old.  He first met his dad when he was 1 year old then again when he was 25 and graduating from ITT Tech.  He wanted very much to know his father while he was growing up but it just never happened.  We were always in contact with his grand parents but his father stayed out of the picture.  I did marry when he was 8 and at first that was really wonderful to have a dad, but that turned into a very bad step father situation.  Knowing his dad now has been great all though there has been a lot lost.   I am now raising my daughter from that marriage with out her father.  He has been a dead beat dad to the farthest extreme.    I used to have to force him to take her for a weekend now and then and when he did he would drink and behave inappropriately. Not sexually but well chasing her with an electric cattle prod after showing her how it burns a piece of paper in just not my idea of appropriate.  and well other similarly wrong behavior.  So I was forced to get  supervised visitation for her.  That did allow her much more quality  time with her dad that for some reason she loves oh so much.  Now we live in another state and she calls him all the time but he never calls her.    As for your questions Yes it does and will effect the child but how it effects them will depend on how you handle it.  My daughter  has gone through every possible kind of reaction possible from extreme anger at me, depression, feelings of not being loved by her dad and so on and so forth.  She is now 16 years old and with a lot of emotional support and encouragement she is in good shape now.  I have had to write a lot of letters myself to her Dad demanding and or requesting certain behavioral changes from him.  some work and some don't.  But Our daughter loves him and I did not do/say anything  to put him down although I so totally HATE the man.  But all you can do is reassure your child that you love him/her and never ever tell your child she cannot or should not love the other parent.  I could go on for ever on this matter but without the specifics like how old is your child it is hard to give the best advise.

Answer 2

The hardest thing for me is affording child care and having someone else taking care of them. It doesn't matter why we are no longer together but it does affect a child tremendously. You could be the best parent in the world but a childs identity is made up of both parents and when only 1 is around, part of that child is missing as well.  

Answer 3

The hardest thing that i find about being a single mother is I don't ever gat alone time the only break i get from my kids is when i go to work i have 3 kids 2 boys and 1 girl my boys father sees them all the time but my daughters father never sees her.. so far it hasn't affected her but she is only two