For some reason, I need to bring a good joke to class tomorrow. Any ideas? Only short jokes please!?

Question

They need to be appropriate but still funny. 10 points to the one that I choose!

Answer 1

A blond goes to the store to buy a television. She picks one out and takes it to the checkout line. The guy says sorry, no blonds aloud. She cuts her hair and dyes it brown and takes it to the checkout line. No Blonds Aloud he says. She dyes her hair red and takes her t.v. to the checkout line. No Dumb Blonds he says. How do you know I'm a blond she asked. Because that's a microwave your trying to buy, he replied.

Answer 2

This is probably the lamest joke ever but when my dad told it to me when I was 6 it was hilarious:

Where do orphan chickens go? Foster farms.

Answer 3

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.

For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50

in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Answer 4

why didnt the skeleton cross the rode??...because he didnt have any guts to do it.

what time is it when a elephant sits on your fance??.. time to buy a new fence.

what kind of dance do you do on a trampoline??.. hip-hop

what was tigger looking for inside the toilet??..pooh.

where are pencils made??..in pancil vania.

hope you like one of these!! and hope this helps!!

if not just email me and i can give you some more!!

Answer 5

Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has a much right to vote as anyone else here!"

Answer 6

Um,

Why is it hard to spot white people on a snowy mountain?

Because they blend in with the snow.

Please, no offense.

It's suppose to be clean and not racist. It's a harmless joke. :  )

Answer 7

a guy runs out of gas on a lonely road.  finally a bee comes up to him and asked if he can help.  the guy says "I don't know how"  but the bee winks at him and comes back with a million bees who fly in and out of his gas tank.  The bee says "start it up" and it does start.  the guy says,.  "how in the world?" and the bee says "haven't you ever heard of Bee Pee (bp)?

Answer 8

ok i have this a very big joke book but its really silly but funny in away! here r some stuff!

1-im lucky i wasnt born in france

lil boy"why is that"

bec i dont speak french"

2-wife doctor doctor my husband's broken his leg!

doctor- but madam im a doctor of music.

wife- thats all right,it was the piano that fell on him.

i think these r the best 2 i've been looking down for you!

hope they work

Answer 9

why don't cannibals eat clowns?

because they taste funny!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Answer 10

How do you catch a Unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a Tame rabbit?

Tame way.