For teenage mom's...Am i a terrible mother? ?

Question

ok... i have a 3 year old girl and I am only 18. I dont really talk to my parents anymore. my family thinks bad of me... i need help. I want Kayler (my daughter) to have a good life but its really hard for me. I cant go to college with a kid that needs to be taken care of... i am barely getting enough money to pay my rent. I am work full time at a car delership and not much mopney is comming in. I am trying to support my daughter but its hard. I dont think i can make it i want her to be happy. She probably thinks i am a horrible mother since i stick her in a day care center monday through thursday. I NEED HELP

Answer 1

Im sorry..but i remember when i was in my teenage years..and i honestly could not imagine having a kid..when i was still a kid...props to ya girl...father not doing anything or what

Answer 2

I'm sure your daughter loves you.

After all, you gave birth to her--what could she hate about you?

When you have days off or free time, do something fun. have mommy and daughter time. you could teach her new things, color with her, put on a puppet show...

ask your family and friends for support. your family may be dissapointed in you, but they still love you no matter what. Just talk to them.

i hope this helps!

x*x good luck

Answer 3

well that is what happen when you don't think about the consequence of your action.

it is best that you talk to your daughter, don't think that your daughter is too young to understand about the situation. tell her that you love her, tell her that you try your best to give her everything. but remind her that there is little you can do to satisfy her with everything. maybe materialistically, you can never be the best mom, but emotionally and spiritually, you are always there for her.Some time love is way more important than foods.  

Answer 4

You should start going to your parents and make your self available to them,i think that they are the ones who must help you.Tell them about your trouble and you need them to look after your child while you work, i am sure that they will help you.but give them a good explanation of your state of living,they will help you and make sure that you wont pay for your child to be kept in a nursery .

Answer 5

she is only 3  and to her she looks up to u like ur GOD!  and shes to young to relize what mommys doing when shes playing at day care.as long as u try ur hardest  and give her plenty of love . she shouldn't care.  my mom had me at 18 and  although she was married we still didnt live like the rich. i guess we lived in a trailer that was falling apart and we shopped at the goodwill.. now we live in a wonderful home and neighborhood.  dont worry everything will get better :)  as long as u try ur hardest. think of it this way u can be the mom from gilmore girls (if u have seen that show)  

Answer 6

Oh my God, you are NOT a terrible mother. What you are doing is all for her. The biggest worry that GOOD parents have is that they have or will fail their children as a parent. The fact that you feel that way makes you a great mum. You need to believe in yourself. Remember that you are your own biggest critic.

I'm sure that Kayler adores you and she probably has a fantastic time at childcare. You are the most important person in your daughter's life and if you aren't happy then she won't be and vice versa. Maybe it's time you started to build some bridges between you and your parents if only for Kayler's sake. Remember that what they think of you is irrelevant. It's what you think of yourself.

Good luck, sweetie. I hope you find happiness and good balance in your life.

Answer 7

Your daughter is to young to think of you as a horrible mother. Does she like going to daycare? Your doing the best that you can. Where's the father? Is he around? Got any friends that can help out? Where you live, check out the mental health services. they probably can recommend someone you can talk to to help you out at this hard time in your life. Good Luck

Answer 8

no your not a horrible mother..your doing the right thing and working hard for her. maybe you can try online classes at a college or something......they are way more convenient.......keep up the good work.  

Answer 9

Maybe you should look at some online courses so you can get a more stable career.  You can take out a small loan if need be and then the income will come in more.  You are trying to do what is best for your daughter, so no you are not a terrible mother!  It's not easy, but you can do this!  She doesn't think you are a horrible mother, she is only 3 remember?  It's better to get school done when they are young and won't even remember.  Good luck with your child.

Answer 10

With your daughter.. you should be able to get financial aid and there is always programs at colleges where they have day care to help single parents.  I don't think your a bad mom, just a mom who's carrying the whole load.  Thats a lot of monkey on your back.   Maybe you should see what your parents really think.  Do they really not care?  

The only way to get a honest darn good life.. is education.. and you' re young enough to better your life, even if you have a child.  You can do it.

Ask your college for help.

Answer 11

Check into your local Community College.  A lot of them have online classes to start out with, and if the school has a Early Childhood Teacher program, they should do daycare for next to nothing.  You can get Grants from the gov. to help pay for school by going to www.fafsa.ed.gov.  Make something of your life so you can show your daughter how much you care.  It can be done, its if you really want to do it.

Answer 12

ur not a bad mother i have a kid hes 1 and im only 17. u are doin everythin u can for her and thast all she needs to kno im sure she will understand i hope the best of luck for u and kayler

Answer 13

Why'd you have a baby when you weren't ready to support it?

I guess all you can do is keep trucking and do online college courses which are very flexible.

Answer 14

have you thought about online college? my bf does it and its going well...and you of course for sure can get financial aid and get a pell grant through out the year and that ould help you out a little while your going to school and no your not a bad mother your doing great and staying strong things WILL get better! things always seem to start off bad before they get good just keep your head up if you have done it this long then you are a h**l of a good mother  

Answer 15

Hey, why don't you talk to your state's welfare program. There are programs in certain states that will pay for you to go to college. I bet with you being a single mother you could get college tuition paid for, and some colleges even offer free day care to students who are in a tough financial bind.

The government makes it really easy for people to go back to school, just not many people take advantage of it. If I were you I would start by calling your local college and making an appointment with their financial aid department to talk about your options!

Bettering yourself will make her life so much easier. h**l, my mom raised us while going to graduate school  and working 3 jobs. It can be done! You just have to become inspired to want to do better!

Also, are there any bills you can cut down on? If you have a lot of bills have you looked into credit consolidation? Are there extra expenses (smoking, getting coffee in the a.m., lunch at a drive through rather than making it at home, etc) that you can cut out?

Not to sound harsh, but sometimes you just have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and figure out "What is my next step?" Get on it! Your daughter is depending on you to make yourself better and carve out a better path for herself!

Oh and PS: Good for you for trying to support yourself rather than run back to your parents. Your parents would more than likely be okay someday helping you again, but you made a very adult decision when you got pregnant and I applaud you for handling it like an adult and not depending on your parents!

Answer 16

Your not a terrible mother. There are hundreds of teenage mothers who are on their own and ask themselves the same queston everyday. As long as you believe that you and your daughter have a strong relationship and, that she knows you love her you are being a good mother. As for your parents support, its not good to dwell on what they think or what your family thinks of you in this situation. Kayler is your child and she is your decision. Period.

Answer 17

Get back in touch with your parents. No matter how badly you may have screwed up, there is no way they don't love you and want to support you anymore.

Answer 18

A for effort, but how do you expect to have your child grow up, get an education, and make something for herself when you clearly don't even have basic English education to give her the needed foundation? Parents must teach their children things, and this is why children shouldn't have children; their lack of education and life experience hurts both parent and child.

Answer 19

Sounds like you need to call home and re connect with your Mom and Dad. You might be surprised by the help they might give you. It sounds like you are doing the best you can, and I'm sure your daughter does not think you are a bad Mother.You can still go to college and they even have daycares for girls like you. SInce you are a single Mom you can even get Pell grants to pay for all of it, plus get enough for room and board. Call the college you want to go too and talk to the financial aide office.

Answer 20

I think your doing a great job and are working really hard for your daughter. I think that you should try to talk to your parents but if they don't want to talk to you then that can't be your problem... cause you can't change people. But you can tell your parents that you want them apart of your child life and would like her to experience having loving grandparents. As for your job situation you should check out your community college and they should have a baby sitting program where as you go to classes they'll keep your baby for you. You can apply for financial aid (maybe not loans unless you absolutely need to). At the college my mom is going to they'll even help you pay for gas(they have like a couple hundreds dollars they give you to help you pay for gas if you qualify). You should really apply for college to start in the next semester cause your daughter is still young and i know it's hard but if you do this now by time she starts like 3rd grade your done with school and providing her with an even better life and having a stable income. Also you should not let any one get you down and you should know your doing a great job no matter what people may say. Trust me this is so VERY POSSIBLE cause i have THREE cousin who are doing this and a mom who is going to college for criminal justice.Please if you ever have any questions or concerns or just need someone to listen just email me at: [e-mail]

Answer 21

Sounds like you are doing your best, and I'm sure she doesn't think you're a bad mom!

As long as you keep a roof over her head, and food on the table, what more can you do?

You have to have her in day care in order to pay the bills.

Are you going out on weekends instead of spending time with her? Do you drink or do drugs around her? If not, then don't worry about being a "bad" mother.

Sounds like you are a much better mother than most people I know!

Answer 22

honestly, it sounds like you are a loving and caring mother doing everything you can, u are doing great, try online classes if you can, i wish you the best of luck.        ps my gf works at a day care where some of the kids parents arnt single are lawyers and such, and ditch the kids there just to get rid of them.          anyone short of helen kellar can recognize the love and dedication you have.  

Answer 23

No, you're a good mother and you are doing the best that you can.  The only problem that you seem to have is the money issue.  Maybe you could get government assistance if that would help.  And it might be good for you to patch things up with your parents so that your daughter can know and love her grandparents, and perhaps they would be willing to help you.  You are not a horrible mother.

Answer 24

Yeah, but at least you're working hard for her. She could be one h**l of a lot worse off.

Answer 25

your not a bad mother, 1st of all. talk to your parents, and see if they could watch your daughter, while you get a job or go to college.  

Answer 26

you are in my prayers.  

Answer 27

your effort to give her a decent life, if good enough. When I was with my ex I too had to work and keep my child in baby sitting, that dint. make me terrible or bad mother. It was was the child I was doing it. Remember to spend quality time with your child quantity doesn't matter.

Answer 28

You are not a bad mother and your daughter doesn't think you are a bad mother either.  In fact she probably adores you.  Keep on working and making money.  Is there an extended family member that can help you out?  Even if they can't help you financially, maybe they could babysit for you once in a while or help with the laundry.  Try to keep your chin up.  You'll be able to go to school one day.  Many schools have day cares as well, so you might want to look into that.

Answer 29

You do need help, and there should be Aunts, Grandma's and Sisters around you to lend a helping hand -- reach for them. This is why women need to cultivate and realize how important relationships are with other women/GFs in their lives... because men, will not Be There for you. Even if you were married, really.

Answer 30

day care is the worst thing you can ever do to your child. the first three years of a childs life are the most critical in brain development. How much do you think she learns at a daycare? :-/ Scientist are saying that by the time your child is 6, whatever personality type they hold is what will stay with them for the rest of thier life.

I am a very young mother as well. I may not sound like it, but that's because I have made myself tough. It was me that choose to take the hard route and bring my 3 year old into this world. No one is accountable for my child than me.

I understand your situation. But girl, it sounds like you can barely take care of yourself. You need to do not what is best for you, but what is best for your daughter. You talk selfishly about college and this and that. Stick it out. There is always an other time for you and college. But not now. Sounds like you need to go back home with mom and dad.

Answer 31

That is a normal thing now days but not near as bad as most. I worked at a day care and some parents would bring their kids to daycare monday through friday for about 10-12 hours a day. Sometimes it is necessary but some would come bring them saying how they are going shopping oro to watch a movie more than once a week. So i think you are trying hard and at the age of 3 she will not think of that stuff. That happens when she gets older. From what you described it wont be hard to see you are working hard to make her a good life.

Have you thought of working at a daycare? The one i worked at and most others in the area make you only pay half the cost or none if you work there and have a kid. They also usually let you pick what age you want to work with. I worked with 10-18 month olds, it was my favorite room. Just an idea.