For the brides!! can you please help!

Question

My best friend of like 10yrs asked me to be her matron of honor and of course i'm gonna do it... she knew that my husband and i were trying for a baby and well luck has it we got pregnant! well the wedding is march 2009 and that is going to put me about 8 or so months pregnant... when i told her she acted all excited and as soon as we got off the phone called one of our mutual friends and was complaining about it... well i guess my question is.... Would you be mad... i mean im still planning on being her matron of honor im not gonna back out or anything... why would she be mad... i would have thought she would be happy for me...

Answer 1

This is mean of her I think you should call her and tell her you still want to do it and being pregnant won't stop you but if she doesn't want you in her wedding then that is fine, give her a chance to back out. If she takes it she's obviously turned into a bridezilla but try not let it come between you!

Answer 2

Ok,...she's probably happy that you are pregnant, but she may be wanting all of her attendents to be, no offense, slim and trim, and of course if you are 8 or 9 months along, you won't be.  But if she really wants you for her matron of honor, it won't matter.

Answer 3

I would talk to her about it since she obviously isn't too happy.  Just be like I'm pregnant now and I'll be about 8 months pregnant at your wedding, does that bother you?  It is her wedding so don't be offended if she says yes she doesn't want you to be the matron of honor anymore.

Answer 4

Isabella T said it best.  She also could have had a certain style of dress in mind for you (and her pictures!) that is no longer possible for someone 8 months pregnant.

No matter how happy she is for you, she knows that some of her 'attention' will now go to you because everyone will want to touch your tummy, ask a zillion questions, etc.   We can say politically correct things here but in reality, every bride wants to be the center of attention on her wedding day and doesn't want anything/anyone taking that away.

Answer 5

Congratulations! I think it is great news!  I would not be mad at all.

Maybe she is worried that you are going to have enough stress with the baby that you may not be able to help her or plan events they way she was planning. Give her a call and make sure you both are on the same page with what is expected of you and what you are able to handle.

Best of Luck! Congrats on the baby!

Answer 6

She is probably just nervous and scared. You count on your maid of honor for a lot of support - maybe she thinks that because you are going to be having the baby you won't be able to offer as much support or help...and maybe she doesn't want any attention taken away from her.

She wants her day to be perfect - and certainly don't see why you being 8 months pregnant would ruin it.

Although, just in case you don't want to deal with the stress or her talking behind your back you might want to suggest to her that instead of being the matron of honor you can be a bridesmaid....I would just hate for you to get stuck in a position where you are 8 months pregnant and running yourself ragged for a demanding bride.  

Answer 7

She's mad because you "messed up her plan". It's not personal and that's why she vented to someone else. She IS happy for you, but she's got her panties in a twist right now because one of her "plans" didn't work out. My BFF had a pregnant bridesmaid and she was irate - but she never told the girl about how mad she was. She got used to the idea and everything was fine. No one likes having their "plans" altered but you have to realize that she IS happy, she just got a little  bridezilla for a second. It's normal to be happy for someone and also normal to be upset if your plans get changed. She'll be fine and so will you. Just be careful you don't overdo it or stress before the wedding, no water breaking on the dance floor! ; )

Good luck!

Answer 8

sounds like shes just being a snot

Answer 9

When you ask your matron of honor to be in your wedding, there should NEVER EVER be any "conditions"..Don't get pregnant, don't gain weight, die your hair, cut your hair,work out...what ever it may be. If she is going to talk c**p about you then she really is no friend and you should tell her that she is better off finding another MOH. You really don't need any added stress and with the baby coming, stress is the last thing you need.

Answer 10

she's being very selfish...

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!

Answer 11

Aye...don't you just hate when brides think that life should revolve around them? That in the year they take to plan everything, everyone should stop living??

Your friend is being an ***.  Plain and simple.

Congratulations to you and your husband! This is such an exciting time in your life! I wouldn't let this fool ruin that for you.  

And I don't believe this whole pregnant BM in pictures c**p.  You are supposed to choose a MOH that you love and want to have standing next to you in your special moment...regardless of whether she's a top model or overweight or pregnant.  If she's too much of a control freak to be thinking about photos to that extent then I would turn down the title.  Let someone else deal with her c**p.

Answer 12

Because she had an image of you NOT pregnant at her wedding which is silly because you were trying and have been blessed.  You know how nutty brides can be.  We want what we want.  

Answer 13

She is simply concerned about her pictures.  She is probably happy for you, but is not looking forward to last minute fittings for your prego dress.  My friend's sister was 8 1/2 months for my friend's wedding, and the dresses were handmade/homemade, and she literally had the final fitting a few days before.  Should you be angry?  A little miffed, I suppose.  She may also be thinking about not having her friend to get wild and crazy with at the bachelorette party, or being able to drink real champagne for the toast.  

Answer 14

She is already going bridezilla....wanting everyone to stop their life in order for her to have her "perfect day.'  I would NOT consider her a "best friend" anymore.  To call another friend and complain that you are pregnant?  Wow...that takes nerve.  

I would be pissed not only at her, but the other mutual friend who told you!!  What is she complaining about?  Because you will have a big belly and it will spoil the pictures?

I would call her and ask her if she wants you to step down as MOH and simply be a guest at the wedding.  OR, I would seriously consider it yourself (stepping down).  Sounds to me like she is going to complain lots more before this wedding is over.

Oh...forgot to say....congrats on the baby!  Enjoy!

Answer 15

well some brides freak out over this because maternity dresses only come in limited styles and colors. planning a wedding is stressful maybe in the moment she overreacted in her mind and said something she shouldn't have. i know you are best friends and i am sure it is just as important to you that you are in the wedding as it is to her for you to be there, but maybe you should talk to her and offer to step aside due to your pregnancy. i would think that no matter what she would still want you to be there, but if she said that maybe it was for the best would you be able to accept that? you can still be a huge part of planning and keeping her calm and helping her out but just not standing there. i think you both should talk though it, you may have just caught her off guard or something.  

Answer 16

How dare you get pregnant and ruin her photos with your humongous baby belly or her bachelorette party by not being able to party it up. Totally kidding, but this is exactly what's going through her mind right now. She loves you, and is happy that you're having the baby that you and your husband want so badly. She also is your typical bride and wants her special day to be as perfect as possible. I doubt she's mad, she's just a little bummed that she can't have things exactly as she wants them. Take it with a grain of salt.

Answer 17

When your a bride it's all about how the pictures are gonna look...she's probably complaining because she's gonna have a "heffer" in her pictures...I would confront her about her saying something to another friend about it. If she were your best friend she wouldn't be talking behind your back. I'm not saying that you are gonna be a heffer, I am married and have a 12 month old but I know where she is coming from....Girls are just mean like that now a days.

Answer 18

Well you were a bride once. That entire day is about PERFECTION and contorl. She is happy for you, but now she has a pregnant bridesmaid!!! More than likely that is not her idea of perfection and it is out of her control.