For the parents of EXTREMELY well behaved children............?

Question

and i know there is still some out there, but what exactly is your method of discipline. obviously consistentancy is key, but what is your method? ie corner, time out, grounding, spanking?

Answer 1

CONSISTENCY.  we use time out and always talk about what happened.  we also make sure we are ALWAYS teaching our sons good manners.

Answer 2

For my children, if they cried a lot cause they want something in the mall, let go of their hand and walk away. They will eventually follow.

At home, put them in the bathroom and lock them in there until they stop. When they stop, leave then in there for 5 - 10 minutes more and let them out, but remember not to mention anything as they tend to forget.

Answer 3

You are your kids role model. IF you well behaved parents..your kids will turn out just like you because you discpline them the way you were. Never stop controlling them. I will control/teach/love...and be there for my children till am dead. I dont know how these parents let their children make a decision on their own especially when its wrong. I AM CONTROLLING. And so was my mother..and i turned out really good..and so will my kids.

Answer 4

Regardless of your methods, children are going to be children!  Even the ones that you see being perfect at the moment....have their "other" moments.  It is part of being a child to learn from trial and error.  If you handle it right (no violence, be patient, be consistant, teach them right from wrong, etc.) you will have more good moments than bad, and they will grow to be happy, emotionally healthy adults.  Any kid who has never had a single moment of bad behavior is not a healthy kid though....It's how kids learn, and don't worry, when your kid is having one of "those" days, other parents understand because their little angel has been there too. :)

Answer 5

I am a big proponent of discipline being defined as teaching the appropriate behavior.  Naughty corners, time outs, groundings, spankings, rewards, bribes and all of that junk are *not* discipline.

If you actually want to do some research look into the following:

"Punished by Rewards" by Alfie Kohn http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm

"Teaching with Love and Logic" and "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Jim Faye and David Funk http://www.loveandlogic.com/

"Setting Limits" by Robert Mackenzie  http://www.settinglimits.com/b-book1.htm

The focus is on teaching and creating an environment where a child can learn what is appropriate behavior and why as well as what is inappropriate and why.

Punishments (naughty corner, time outs, groundings, spankings etc) don't teach a child why something is wrong nor do they have anything to do with what the misbehavior was, so they don't work effectively long term.  Rewards don't teach the reasons why something is good, either.  They just bribe so they don't work for very long.

Answer 6

my children are very good. i talk with them and not yell. i huge them and laugh with them. we do time out and we explain what is going on how we feel and how does the other person feels. it works for us.

Answer 7

(shhhhhhhhhhhhh...let me fill you in on a secret...some kids are well disciplined because of parenting, this is true and we all thrive for that but some are well-behaved because of internal desires to please people and follow rules...I have one Rule Follower and another one that's a Rule Tester...same set of rule/discipline/etc. two totally different kids)

Other than that I will tell you that no matter what you use for your method of discipine you need to be consistent (as you mentioned) in your follow through. Do not make empty threats (i.e. my husband will say "If you don't do _____, we're not going on vacation"...there's no way in he!! that we'd skip a vacation that's been planned for months- he needs to make the punishment fit the crime) because kids see through that right away. The other thing to keep in mind is that you need to choose your battles...decide what it is that you want to accomplish and do away with the nit-picky things that you *might* have reprimanded your kiddo for. That ensures that you are focusing on the truly important behaviours that you want to see followed.

As for what works...we use time-outs for the most part but are not above a swat on the thigh (as that works with one of our kids, not the other) either- mind you we don't use it every day which makes it all the more effective.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

Time out is the biggest thing I use, and recently I have employed the sit where you are time out.  Also, if they misbehave we stop whatever activity they are doing - even if I am not so happy about it.  I don't talk about it either, I just act - either they stop it or I help them stop it.

No spanking, and they're too little for grounding.

As for extremely well behaved, the nursery at church and at our toddler classes have all been impressed with their behavior.