For the women who've gone through labor and delivery, can you answer please?

Question

Can anyone tell me how bad it is. Everything ive heard has made me completely terrified. Does everyone tear(sorry to be graphic), and is it really unbearable?

Answer 1

I just recently delivered my baby boy 6 months ago.  So, it's still fairly recent.

I admit.  I was terrified.  Everything I imagined or was concerned or feared happened.. So, even though it was a bummer that it really happened.  It also wasn't as terrifing.  I had it all under control. . . even though I was in A LOT of pain.

I was induced at 38 weeks.  They put me on the pitocin at 4am to get my contractions going (trying to soften me up/dilate me before the doctor came in.) at 7:00am the doctor checked me and said I was 5 cm dilated and then he broke my water to really get the contraction moving.  I thought I had it all under control (while being on the pitocin) and then the CONTRACTIONS started coming and COMING and COOOOMING!   Mine were coming every 20-30 seconds and lasting for 2 min.  I couldn't take it.  I was in so much pain and the contractions didn't give me anytime to relax and prepare for another.  It was one after another after another.  Think menstrual cramps, but menstrual cramps times 1,000.  I'll be honest with you.  They are painful.  Just make sure you BREATH.  Even if you breath hard.  Make sure to breath.  I remember I couldn't breath anymore and I was bawling.  I also remember screaming for an epidural an hour and a half into (after my water was broken)  they called in for the man who would be administering the epidural to me.  I remember that 30 min felt like 2 hours.  I never felt the epidural being given to me. (the needle in the back) because I was in so much excruciating pain.  All I remember was the pain was awful and then it slowly started to disappear.  And then the last 4 hours I felt nothing.  It was amazing and so wonderful.  God Bless epidurals.  Honestly.  I don't know how women can make it through without them.  I swear they are saints to be able to go through an entire labor without taking the epidural.  If you decide to take the epidural.  You'll be numbed from your waist down and you'll no longer feel any contractions nor the baby coming out.  So, that makes it interesting trying to push the baby out though! Haha. Can't feel anything down there.  If you were to tear.  The doctors will take care of it without you feeling it.  Now. . . you probably will need an episiotomy.

It will hurt after you are in the "recovering room" and will hurt about 3-4 weeks after you deliver your baby.  Make sure you bring some pads with you.  Some heavy duty ones.  You'll be bleeding for about 4-6 weeks after delivering your baby.  They will have supplies at the hospital initially, but once you get home. . . you are on your own.  So, be prepared.  

Don't worry though.  You'll be okay.  As my second cousin says, "Childbirth pain is only temporary a child is forever."  Remember that when you are in labor.  Congratulations and good luck on the delivery of your baby.

Answer 2

Honestly, i wouldnt take any notice of what anyone says!   because it does scare you!

Its not unbearable, there a drugs that they offer you if you need them.

If it is so bad why would ladies go back and have more than one child :)

Answer 3

well coming from a mother of 2 who had an epidural i did not feel a thing. Second not everyone tears some doctors will give an episodomy if they think you'll tear and some women dont have either it all depends.

Answer 4

It is different for every woman and even for the same woman in different pregnancies.  Not every woman tears, and if it were unbearable women wouldn't do it.  It is terrifying when you are pregnant, hearing everyone's stories, and you haven't been through it, but I can assure you that you will get through it, be fine, and when it is all over with it will be worth it, and you will be telling yourself you would do it all over again when you hold that baby in your arms and hear it cry for the first time.

Answer 5

tear no not everyone..........just keep in mind its not gonna last forever.......and get the epidural if ya can.

Answer 6

I realy dont want to scare you, every womans labour if different. But mine was horrible. Partly because the labour was induced. I had a 30hr labour with pethidine, the gas & several epidurals. My baby was also facing the wrong way so it was even more painfull. & she was too big for my body & that caused alot of pain also. I needed a C-section but there was too many other women getting one when i needed it. So i gave birth eventually & teared quite badly, had about 100stitches inside & a few outside. I was so happy when it was over. Just to see that beautiful little girl & a flat tummy again lol being pregnant is so uncomfortable!!! I Hope your labour goes well

Answer 7

With my first child i had 4th degree tearing, which is really bad.  I couldnt walk for 2 days, but i healed very quickly.  As long as you take good care of the area, have sitz baths, and take your pain meds, its not too bad.  My baby was big though, and got stuck.  9lbs, 10oz and 22 inches, with a huge head, lol.

With my new baby, i thought i would tear again due to already having a previous tear.  I didnt, no stitches.

So to answer your question, no everyone doesnt tear.

Good luck, dont be scared.  Take it from someone who had the worst tearing possible, then the next time no tearing at all. :)

Answer 8

every mom's experience with labor and delivery is different. yes, it is one of the most mentally and physicall challenging things a mom can go through, but it is well worth it!

the pain i guess can be described as unbearable. i thank god that there is such thing as an epidural!

some of the things you've heard of like tearing, getting hemorrhoids, or taking a poo in the middle of birth dosen't always happen. my best friend delivered her baby and did not tear, get hemorrhoids, or even p**p in the middle of the birth. i've read somewhere that these types of things only happen to about 30% of moms who give birth.

even though some stories you've heard may scare you to death, you have to look at it this way. if the whole experience were really that horrible, women would just stop having babies. once it's done and over with, your body heals quickly, and is very well worth it!

Answer 9

For me with my daughter labor with contractions and all that just felt like really bad cramps that were constantly coming one after another. It wasn't that unbearable but I was to the point where I was crying so bad. As for delivery she was only 10ounces and 11inches long so it wasn't hard pushing. But everyones labor is different.

Answer 10

Every woman and every birth is different. There are ways to help prevent or limit tearing which you can research online. I haven't given birth yet but for me I used to be completely terrified too until I saw this documentary called, "The Business of Being Born." I had seen A Birth Story and other shows on TLC that scared me even more to death but for some reason watching these women giving all natural births was very beautiful (and still kinda gross) to me.

Just do your research and you'll learn a lot, some of which might scare you more but in the end the knowledge makes it easier, and the more relaxed and less scared you are during the actual birth process the easier it should be. For example, one thing that used to scare me a lot was that I'm pretty skinny and I was worried that it would just kill me to push a baby through there, but then I learned that the hormones cause your pelvis to separate and the bones to relax a little late in pregnancy, which makes more room for baby to come out. So that's still a little freaky but a lot better than having to push a baby-sized baby through the hole that's there now, right? And the pain level for everyone is different, but most women go through it and then go on to have more so it must be worth it. Keep on learning!

Answer 11

First, here is an excellent film on natural birth-

http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/the_b...

Second, I have had three different deliveries-one I got an epidural and IV drugs, my second I had just IV drugs after I reached 8 cm and for my third I was at 8 cm when I went into labor/delivery and went all natural... Each birth is so different but realistically, the pain is bearable and no, not everyone tears. In fact, you are MORE likely to tear if you get an epidural because you're on your back which puts pressure on your perenium which makes it VERY likely you'll at least get an episiotomy. Now, sometimes you'll tear even if you don't, say if you're baby is on the larger size, but the tearing isn't as bad if you aren't flat on your back... and I DID tear and get an episiotomy when I had my first, NOT with either my second or third...

Honestly, I think the biggest "trick" in getting through the pain is focus on your breathing-FOCUS hard during EACH contraction and just ride it out. DO NOT think about the pain, think about the sound of your breath and even just think about "I NEED to breath!!!" because if you are able to get your mind onto anything while you have a contraction, especially a very intense contraction, you will find it's a LOT more bearable if you don't get drugs.

I personally believe if at all possible, do NOT get drugs. Drugs make the baby groggy and it makes it very difficult for the baby to eat after he or she is born, plus, I feel like the pain is something that helps in the bonding process-like, "I went through this for YOU!"... the beginning of motherhood starts with one of the MOST painful/sacrificial experiences which I believe heightens the maternal instinct big time! :)

All in all, do NOT allow your mind to fool you. You are made for this and you don't need to fear labor. It is painful, but personally, here I am three babies later, alive and waiting on this little guy, looking forward to experiencing his delivery all natural again! :) So it's not really "that" bad when you weigh it all out...

Don't cheat yourself and don't let doctors talk you into drugs. They are so easy to get, but that doesn't mean you should get them. Just go with your body and let it lead.

Answer 12

No, it is not unbearable and you will survive it. It is not is not a relaxing day on the beach but you will get thru it. Whatever you have heard remember that those experiences belong to those individuals, they are not you.  Your labor may be very short in duration and your delivery could very well be a couple of pushes and out, every one is different. I had six and mine did not get easier. My sister had one and it took her three hours from start to finish, you can't predict. My advice to you is let go of the fear. It is not going to kill you, yes you will remember it, but it's going to be okay and whatever you go thru you will have plenty of leverage in future arguments with the baby's father

Answer 13

I've had 3 natural births with no drugs and i didn't tear with any of them.

I had psyced myself out for the worst imaginable pain but when it happened even though it was agony it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, It's mainly the contractions that hurt the most and closer to the end it's actually a relief to be pushing.

If you find you can't bear the pain you always have the option of an epidural but that increases your risk of needing a c-section as your numb and can't push.

Answer 14

As others said, each labor is different, even for the same woman! My first was pretty painless until they gave me pitocin. They took me off of it and I was no longer in pain! Had an awesome birth that I felt the whole thing through (no epidural), with her literally slipping out of me once her large head made way! It was an awesome feeling for sure. Then the doctor had to ruin it for me, because yes I tore a bit and his response when he was stitching me up, roughly I might add, was, "You didn't get an epidural, you can handle this." Yeah he sucked!! Then I come to find out later, that he gave me an "extra stitch" for my husband's sake that caused me pain when having s*x, sitting on hard surfaces like the ground when at the park, etc. until after my second was born!

My second was a painful labor after a certain point (again no epiural, so it can be done), which I also tore on, but barely. Midwife said she only stitched me up to be safe, but it wasn't much of anything! He was also a lot faster than my first and his head wasn't as large which was nice!!! So from my own experience of 50/50 pain rate, I'm looking forward to my next being an adventure instead of being scared!

Answer 15

Going into labor isnt that bad. I had a very easy labor, my water broke I went to the hospital they started me on the meds to start my labor and I was sleep the rest of the time. I did get the pain meds and it wasnt so bad. I tore a lil bit but I didnt even feel the difference when the pain meds wore off from labor. Labor was long but it wasnt so bad. Try to calm your self down and try not to think about it too much. Good Luck

Answer 16

Every woman is different!!! It also depends on what drugs you wanna take to numb the pain during the labor part. Don't let other people try to scare you about pregnancy. It's a wonderful thing!!

Answer 17

It is totally different for everyone!!  Something happens to moms after they experience childbirth that makes them want to tell everyone in the world how hard and painful it is.  Is it painful?  Yes.  Can you get through it?  Absolutely!  I did, and did it three times nonetheless!!

Answer 18

they cut me with my first second i barley tore and my third which was my smallest i didnt tare at all. the pain is aweful it hurts like no other pain in the whole world i had this sharp stabbing feeling from the inside of my v****a with every contraction. it was the baby pushing down really hard. but that is what the epideral is for to take the pain away and you for get the pain afterwards any way.

Answer 19

i have had 2 children and am expecting my 3rd any day now. dont listen to what everyone says cause every women is different. I didnt tear with either of my births and they were both natural { no epidural} they said with my first one was because i took 2 hours to push him out everything had time to stretch, But a friend of mine she had 2 children that were both 9 pound and she didnt push at all, and she never tore so if you are worried you could look into that.  But trust me when you have that beautiful baby in your arms you forget about the pain cause it was all worth it.

Answer 20

I was very relaxed and didnt stress about birth from beginning which helps. The key to NOT tearing is DONT PUSH TOO EARLY. I couldnt stress that enough!! I tore a tiny bit from my first son, didnt even feel it..but i didnt push until I WAS READY. My second pregnancy was a twin one and i didnt tear AT ALL!!!!! I remember having an arguement with the midwife who kept saying.."just push a bit, have a little push", but i knew i wasnt ready and that would have made me tear. You will know when to push if you dont have epidural...felt such pressure and a burning sensation.....its hard to describe...goodluck though