For those birth mothers whom were tricked into...?

Question

signing adoption papers, how do you cope with your pain? What would you say to the adoptee parents if you saw them today? Thank you.

Answer 1

How did you get tricked into signing adoption papers?

^^Dont letcture her, you have know idea what she has been through, you dont know the circamstances.

Answer 2

LittleJaina's response is one of the most narrow, thoughtless, condemning, cruel and heartless responses I've heard on Y!A to date.  She has absolutely no experience being in the position many of these mothers experienced.  

Although I'm not a first parent, I know PLENTY who were in the very position about which Dave is asking.  The pain has never ended.  Anyone who could watch this without compassion needs therapy.

eta:

I'm sorry, Dave, that certain people ("small j") are just self-righteous, condescending, judgmental, cold-hearted, inconsiderate people without class.  People like that need to butt out.  It's not right that you should have to deal with people like that when you're dealing with such a difficult situation.

eta:

I noticed the other "caring" individual who decided to grace you with her opinion had the gall to say "God Bless" after insulting you.  Wow.  The compassion of these folks just blows me away.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but I absolutely fail to see how a mother could possibly be 'tricked' or talked into giving up her child.

There is absolutely nothing in this world that could make me give up my child.  Nothing at all.  I firmly believe that anyone who says this has regrets later and is finding some way of justifying their decision to themselves.  Which I can understand, it must be so traumatic to know you gave your child up.  But that doesn't mean you should lie about it.

Your edit makes no sense.  If your baby was taken by the proper chanels then there was a necessity for it.  Didn't you say at the end you could have the baby back?

I don't believe that ANYBODY, especially not a mother trying to get her baby back mistakes adoption papers for a standard health form.

I think there is obviously more to this story than meets the eye.

I stand by my original answer.

God bless.

ETA:  So this isn't even you, it's someone you know now who is telling you what happened 17 years ago?

I definitely stand by my original answer.

Answer 4

sorry, I never did sign over my rights.... by God's grace. But when I was in labor with my son (and I was 16) my mother-in-law tried to get me to sign some papers giving up my rights. but said it was for my medical care. Well luckly my mom always taught me to read and being under a epadurial and active later I wasn't reading anything at that time.

Well later I found out what it really was. And after a few other attemts I left. And ran home to Co..

but it does happen people can be crazy

Answer 5

People don't want to believe that this happens.  I've emailed you a link to something I think you will find very interesting and comforting for your wife - she is not alone, you will see

For what it's worth, I know how vulnerable it can feel having just given birth - people can be so harsh here and I'm sorry

Answer 6

Love it when people who know nothing about the horrible, dark side of adoption weigh in...

Yes, it happens. It has happened many times in the past and sadly, it still happens today.  Read about the Tennessee Children's Home Society who tricked thousands of women out of their babies under the cover of providing temporary care during difficult family circumstances.  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tennessee_C...

I just finished reading the book, "The Girls Who Went Away", by Ann Fessler.  The girls & young women in this book (who tell their stories) weren't tricked into relinquishing their children, but were given absolutely no other options.  They were basically told, "Don't come home with that baby". With no other means to support themselves & their child, they had no choice.  And they paid a high emotional price.  Often until they were reunited with their lost child.  

This doesn't mean ALL adoption is bad. But to deny the reality of history...really...what does that accomplish?

Warm wishes & much encouragement to your wife.

ETA: You might want to get "The Girls Who Went Away" for your wife. The girls' & women's stories are varied, they're different ages, from different areas & time periods. But their experiences & emotions seem pretty universal.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for your pain.

I was lied to, and I wouldn't have anything to say to them. One day she will know the truth, that she had been lied to. It makes my heart ache knowing this. I can only hope that she will meet her brother, Sam, and he will know all. He knows exactly where in Virginia she is and one day he will be there for her. He will find her, and I hope they will be great friends. That is my dream for them both.

Answer 8

My case was different. I was handed all the same c**p the other bio moms were but it didn't matter to me. I had made up my mind to relenquish for my own reasons and I was going through with it for my own reasons.

I did not believe them when the told me I would go home and forget about it all. I never thought I would forget and in fact i didn't.

As far coping, that was much more difficult than I thought it was going to be. The agency told me all about the wonderful people who were going to raise my baby.  After the ink was dry I started hearing all the horror stories associated with adoption. I felt sick to my stomach for years afterward. I literally had to push the thoughts from my mind at times when it was inappropriate to greive. I couldn't allow myself to think about it. Not an easy task when there are babies in your face everywhere and that is what usually triggered the whole thing to begin with.

What would I say to them? Thank You, Bless You, for being the parents I was told she would get. She got great parents, and I hope some day I get the chance to tell them to their face. Words can not express the emense relief I feel inside to know that she was more than adequately taken care of. My plan to keep her safe and be raised in a loving happy home actually worked and it is all because of them.

Answer 9

im not familiar with this.

i dont even know what id say.

i wouldnt have gone down without a fight.

absolutely NO ONE will take my baby and live to tell the story.

i get mad thinking about it.

did this happen to you??

if so, im so sorry.

Answer 10

I wasn't tricked. I made a decision even though I was ill informed to give up my child. I grieved for 30 years, I grieved so much that it made me a sick emotional wreck. I didn't cope very well for a lot of those years. What saved me was reunion and counseling. You never forget and you never get over it. Oh you might push it so far back that it becomes a dream, but it's real.

Answer 11

i made the slideshow over at my profile -

myspace.com/atinobalsial

that's my son, who was adopted by people who refuse to acknowledge me, playing "What Went Wrong"

Answer 12

What semi-sane person would EVER sign a paper under those circumstances without reading it carefully?  Geez, can't she tell the difference between a medical release and an adoption contract?  

What would happen if same "good mother" took the kid to the doctor and the doctor said he was going to give the baby a vaccination but the release actually said that it was going to be a drug for a semi-risky clinical trial.  Would the mother not even NOTICE???  Sounds like a great mom to me!

ETA:  This isn't insensitive.  I know all about hard situations, but any mother who signs something about her child without reading it simply isn't fit to parent - that's all there is to it.  Being a parent is a responsibility, and it requires someone with an IQ over 50 and a large dallop of common sense to pull it off.  I highly doubt this story is absolutely true to begin with (meaning, there are at least details that are left out, if not down right lies) but even if it is, I wouldn't give anyone a kid who can't tell the difference between a medical release and adoption papers.  I mean, be serious, they're no where NEAR the same thing!  I've signed tons and tons and tons of medical releases and waivers, and I don't sign them unless I read them....  are you REALLY saying that you do?  That's very foolish if so.

Answer 13

That is also known as Adoption Fraud, or a form of it,,

N THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE EIGHTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT

IN AND FOR ALACHUA COUNTY, FLORIDA



IN RE: THE ADOPTION OF

MICHAEL EDWARD CHALEK

CASE NO: 6815-C



ORDER GRANTING PETITION FOR ANNULMENT OF ADOPTION

AND AMENDMENT OF CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH



THIS CAUSE came before the Court on December 13, 1999, upon the "Petition for Annulment of Adoption and Termination of Parental Rights and for Amendment of Certificate of Live Birth" filed by Michael Edward Chalek, adoptee, on June 7, 1999. The petitioner and his counsel were present. Josette P. Marquess also appeared in her capacity as representative of the Florida Department of Children and Families Adoption Registry. The Court, having reviewed the petition and evidence presented, and having heard testimony of the petitioner and Josette P. Marquess, and argument of counsel, finds that an annulment of the adoption of Michael Edward Chalek and the amendment of his birth certificate is necessary. However, since both adoptive parents are deceased, the issue of termination of parental rights is moot.

The Court does not make this finding carelessly. The public policy of this State is to protect and respect the privacy of those who so generously decide, for whatever reason, to give to a child the gift of the opportunity to achieve what life has to offer with adoptive parents, and give to the adoptive parents the gift of providing those opportunities to the child. Unfortunately, in the instant case, the adoptive parents abused this privilege and instead caused profound harm to the adoptee. Moreover, but for the adoptive parents' misrepresentation and fraud upon the Court, the Department of Children and Families and/or Judge John A. H. Murphree, who presided over the adoption, would have denied their petition for adoption.

Therefore, the petition for annulment is granted and the court must further provide petitioner with a lawful identity. Petitioner, born during a legitimate marriage, is a child of the marriage under Florida law. At his birth, his biological mother, under duress imposed upon her by the adoption broker, recorded the birth using a fictitious name. Petitioner requests that the certificate be amended to reflect the legal name of the petitioner's biological mother and lawful father at the time of his birth. The Court grants this request and directs that the petitioner's Certificate of Live Birth be amended to reflect the true identity of the biological mother, Winnie Faye Higginbotham Yarber and lawful father, Thomas Yarber, and further amended to record the child's name as Michael Edward Higginbotham Yarber. However, petitioner asks that his name, Michael Edward Chalek, remain as such since he is known professionally by that name. The Court grants the request and his name shall appear on the Certificate of Live Birth as Michael Edward Chalek. This Court reserves jurisdiction over the subject matter of this case.

ORDERED on this 22 day of December 1999.





MAURICE V. GIUNTA, CIRCUIT JUDGE



CERTIFICATE OF SERVICE

I HEREBY CERTIFY that a true and correct copy of the foregoing Order has been furnished this 22 day of December 1999, by U.S. Mail to:

Florida Department of Children and Families

Bureau of Adoptions

1317 Winewood Boulevard

Building 7, Room 206

Tallashassee , FL 32399

Florida Department of Health

Bureau of Vital Statistics

1217 Pearl Street

Jacksonville, FL 32202

Mallory E. Horne, Esq.

216 South Monroe Street, Suite 200

Tallahassee, FL 32301 Mary Jarvis, Judicial Assistant

http://www.adoption-fraud.com/granted.ht...

A Florida Case that I was familiar with, Although the circumstances were a little different it is basically the same laws.

Please note the part about Legitimate Marriage, that plays big  in legal documents.

http://www.adoption-fraud.com/

That is the main page,,,

This is Cornell Legal site,,,

http://www.law.cornell.edu/topics/Table_...

It is a Criminal Case, or can be. Years of litigation and there really is no win point, There is an end point, I suppose that helps.