For those of you looking to adopt or those of you have adopted a child...?

Question

Hi,

This is a serious question, I'm wondering, would you still be interested in doing so, if it did not come with the title of "Mom" and "Dad?"

You would still be providing the same level of permanent care and love. The only difference would be they would retain their original first and last name instead of your last name.

If Yes, please explain why.

If No, please explain why.

Thank you

Answer 1

We adopted an infant, but had we done an older child the name means nothing. You still love and care for them. You are mom and dad even if they don't call you that. They belong to your family.

Answer 2

There's nothing that would make me not want to raise my son... He was never given a name and for 18 months he was refered to as baby boy.....

Many people know how difficult this last 2 years have been for my family these last 2 years. My son was born drug exposed weighing only 3 lbs on the verge of death.We have spent EVERYTHING we have to give him the best treatment and life we can (I'n talkin' $100,000's).(I'm not lookin' for praiseor sympathy  here, It wasn't a sacrafice it's just what parents do)

I've been asked "If you knew then what you know now why on Earth would you still do it?"

I Simply said "Would you not give the world, let alone material things for YOUR child?" He's the blessing.

So no there's NOTHING that would change my mind, even if he wanted to call me "Hey you". The word "mom" isn't what makes you a "mom". I had someone who I call "mom" but she was hardly a "mom"

Answer 3

My adopted son still calls me by my first name, and I doubt that will ever change. It only hurts my feelings if I let it, but other than that it has no affect on me at at all, if anything I spend MORE time worring about him than the rest of my kids!

Answer 4

I must assume that you have not adopted or have children of your own or you would realize that being a parent is so much more than a title or a name. I would have adopted my children regardless to what they called me or what their names were.

Answer 5

I would do it in a heart beat! We took gaurdianship of a infant boy and of course he was to keep his birth name given to him by his birth parents. As far as mom and dad are concerned I think most children raised by a mother and father figure call them mom and dad unless told other wise as in if raised by a grandparent or aunt and uncle.

Answer 6

Yes. I am thinking of fostering children and possibly adopting from that program. I would be happy with a child that already has a name and knew his/her parents.

Answer 7

Yes....we did foster care for years and those kids do not cal you mom and dad they call you by your first name.  To me that was no different then being a mother.  They are kids that are in need no matter what they call you.

Answer 8

Yes, I would.  I think, though, that after the years passed, the child would naturally begin to call us mom and dad, just because other kids do that.  I don't think it would matter much to me either way.

At this point, I'd be willing to simply take guardianship and never even adopt if someone needed us to raise their child.

Added: No, I wouldn't change my answer, but I highly doubt that raising an infant, who will have known nothing else, is going to mean they won't call you mom and dad.

Answer 9

I would've been willing to let my adopted son and daughter keep their original last names, however we felt it would be better for them in terms of gaining citizenship and things of that nature if they had our last name. My son still calls himself by his original last name and I tell him thats totally fine, that he's still who he is. My daughter is only 3 so I dont' think she has an opinion yet. I'm going to make a point to tell them why we changed their last names and that it won't hurt us a bit if they want to use their original last names. We did not change their first names. We kept my daughters middle name and added a second one. With my son, he had no middle name, so we gave him one. My adopted kids call me mama/mom because the other kids do. It wouldnt' hurt me if they didn't. After all, I was raised by my grandmother and I never called her mom. I always called my first mom mom, not her. That doesn't mean I loved her any less or had less of a bond with her. She never called me her daughter either, but it doesn't mean she loved me less. They're just names. I call my husband by his first name and I love him. Whats the difference? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, as Shakespeare says.

no, I wouldn't change my answer if I were to adopt an infant. I still don't think names are the reason we love and bond to people. My daughter was 2 when we adopted her, so not much older than an infant. I would still love her just as much if she didn't call me mommy or if she had her original last name.