For those parents who have adopted, what were the ages of your other children when you adopted?

Question

My children are 6, 4, and 1. My husband and I are thinking about fostering or adopting another child, but we are trying to gather as much information as possible before we go ahead.

Answer 1

We adopted a 6 year old.  If you are going to be fostering one of the things my husband and I noticed was that any time an older child was brought in our adoptive son was uncomfortable.  He was fine if they were younger cause he was and should have been the oldest so after the first time I put a limit on how old we would take in...They couldn't be older then our son....

Answer 2

We have a teenage daughter, and two adopted sons.  The boys are significantly younger than their sister, 1yr and 3yrs.  

Built in babysitter!

Answer 3

we had our 3 (ages 16, 14, and 12), then adopted 7 (all younger than the 3, ages 10, 10, 9, 7, 5, 3, and 13 mo.). i'm pregnant with twins, and they will be younger than the 7, obviously.

Answer 4

Our social worker recommended to us that any adopted/fostered child should be younger than any child currently within your family.  

In many of the profiles of children up for adoption it states that they have to be the youngest child, and the recommended age gap seems to be around three years.

Answer 5

My adoptive parents waited until my brother was 5 to introduce a new baby into the family.

Answer 6

I think because you already have a family birth order you should respect that in your home...in other words, try not to get an older child to displace your 6 year old, as he is the oldest... I would suggest an infant.

Answer 7

I agree with the other posters. I think it would be best if the foster child was not older then your oldest, but only you know your children. they might be ok with an new older sibling, have you asked them how they feel?