For those who are still searching for your birth....?

Question

parents,how long have you been searching and at what age were you told you were adopted? Thank you.

Answer 1

i always knew.  took me 8 years, then i had to hire a PI.

Answer 2

I was 10 when I was adopted, so I always knew.

I've been trying to search, but don't have much time to follow it in depth.

Answer 3

I've been searching my whole life for answers to many many questions.  I can't remember being told.  I always knew.

As for actively searching, I started 19 years ago.  When I discovered the records were sealed and I was treated suspiciously even though I had comitted no crime, I became disheartened and believed it when people told me I should leave it alone and the records were sealed 'for a reason'   I let it alone for about 15 years.

Then I discovered there were actually millions of other searching adoptees and birthparents and I was not alone in wanting to know the truth of my origins.   I read a book called 'The Search for Anna Fisher' which described in detail many of the ways the searcher is treated with distain by many; the only difference between myself and the searcher in that book was that I had given up and she had persevered and found.

This gave me hope and motivation to investigate more and to my surprise I found it was only the United States that sealed records of adoptees in this way.  Even the country I was raised in allowed access for adoptees to their own records since 1974.

To cut a long story short,  I no longer believe the folks who tell me I have no right to my own information, that I  have no right to search for answers about my own origins.  I have rights.  Adult Adoptees had their rights stripped away and we are working hard to have those rights reinstated.  The right to know who we are and where we came from.

So I search.  I will continue to search for answers until my dying day, as will my children and their children . . . .

Our ancestry is our ancestry and if we want to know where our roots lie, nobody should have the right to tell us we don't need to know

Sorry about the long answer!  and thanks for asking, it's refreshing not to have an adoptee bashing question here, cheers

Answer 4

I was real little when i was told.and it took along time to. But i found my mother in 2006.

Answer 5

i have always known that i was adopted i was told when i was very young that i was special because i was chosen i have tried to search for my natural mother on and off for a long time but come to dead ends all the time but i have some very professional help that has been offered me now and it looks very hopeful i know both sides of the adoption saga though because as well as an adoptee i am a relinquishing mother whose daughter doesn't want contact i think that makes me want to find my mother even more so

Answer 6

I have been searching for my bioligical father since i was 15 years old. I was adopted when i was 18. Im still searching and its been 8 years.

Answer 7

I have known I was adopted since I can remember - and that's a loooongg time...LOL!

I joined a search group in 1982 & found my birth mom in 1983. I didn't send my first letter for about 3 months. I wanted to prepare myself emotionally for the possibility of having a door slammed in my face.  By the time I sent my first letter, I knew if this happened, the door would be slammed on my mom's past rather than on me personally.  

Actually, I found & met a 1/2 sib first. Turned out she knew all about me. Everyone in the family (mom's side) was waiting for me to find them.  The weekend we met, she called our mom, told her "there's someone here you want to talk to" and handed the phone to me.  I met my mom the following weekend.  

It took me a few months from the time I sent my first letters to the time of first contact.  It was all done by snail mail, since we didn't have the internet yet.  

For my birth father, I had an address in Ohio, but no phone number. I didn't want to send a letter that his (possibly unknowing) wife might open. I ended up waiting.  I guess I didn't feel the need to pursue him as much.  

In 1986 I received his current address & phone number through family genealogy researchers.  I met him within a few days of calling him at his request.  He told his wife & family right after we spoke.  

BEST thing I've ever done in my life for myself!  And now I have medical information for my children and their children, too.  Good luck, my friend!

ETA: CWood, e-mail me if you'd like some help with your search. I may have some hints for you!

Answer 8

I don't remember being told I was adopted. It was never a secret so I just always knew.  My parents were very open about my brother and I being adopted with both us and friends and family.

As far as searching, I never really had a strong desire to do so until recently.  I used to just want a photo and a description of what they looked like and what they were interested in.  I just wanted to see if I took after them in any way, looks, talents, likes, dislikes, etc.  Now that I have received my non-identifying information I know that I need more information.  I need to fill in the holes in my past.  I need it to feel whole for the first time in my life.