For those whom have done searches for others:?

Question

How many have back fired in to you? I've tried many searches for othrs..figured out now a total of 37...but two stump me...the two...i realy want to find because i have become attached to the searchers...Has this happened to you and if it did what did you do????Thank you.

Answer 1

This is really wierd, i answered this last night.

and now its not here?!?!

One time a friend of someone I cared about deeply approached me to search for her friend. We became very close. She was the first IRL adoptee that I knew and was friends with.

I found her mother in a grave. And she had committed suicide because her pain from the loss of her daughter was too much for her to continue living.

I stopped searching for others after that and only point people in directions now.

I think that adoptees / natural families need to do most of the searching on their own, it was healing for me to search and find. I realize that there are some circumstances where adoptees etc. search for years, so yes, sometimes help and assistance is definitely needed. I tend to just point them where I would look if I was looking and hopefully they find something. I think that if the general adoption searching community could all be directed to the ISRR or one specific place, there would be a lot more reunions. The invention of the internet has brought a lot of people together, as it appears you have. So well done, 37 is a GREAT number, and I also noticed you're a top contributor to the "searching" section.

GOOD JOB, thats super cool.

I wish I had more advice for you other than, I just stopped doing it because it was too painful lmao.

Answer 2

The Confidential Intermediary that did my search...don't know for sure, but I think she has done hundreds of cases.  Some are more memorable than others.  Mine was tough case...I guess she'll always remember it.  Don't want to put words in her mouth, but I believe she does her work well and will great heart and superb professionalism.