For those whose parents believed in physical punishment?

Question

Most of the people I know who were spanked or hit as kids say that it did them good and that they deserved it.

I see the same answers around here.

But do you honestly believe that or are we just conditioned to love our parents that much even if they have hurt us? To blame ourselves rather than those who were supposed to love us unconditionally and protect us from any harm and not harm us?

Answer 1

Your spanking your kids not beating, burning, or brusing your children there is a big diffrence.

I spank my kids, but not all the time it depends on what they do to earn a spanken. When my kids caught the house of fire, I spanked my kids and I was arranging to take my kids down to the city mourge to view burned bodies, so they would know what could have happened to the family (my kids were 8 years old) is that harsh... not at all because if I wouldn't have caught the fire we could have all died including my newborn son.

Most of the time I take away privlideges and make them do bad chores around the house that I hate to do like scrubbing down walls and putting them on restriction they hate that and they get the point.

Answer 2

My view on this is.... almost every mammal in the animal kingdom disciplines their offspring with some form of physicality.

Why are humans suddenly so special?  We are animals too, believe it or not! Why do we get punished for doing something that is natural to other creatures?

(yes, I was spanked (and given the belt) as a child, and it didn't scar me...if anything, it taught me to respect authority, something I can only thank my parents for).

Answer 3

Sounds full of it to me. A parents role is to raise their child responsibly. There are ALOT of kids out there that would be out of control without spanking. My children all have tempers and there was no reasoning with them as young children. They'd look at me and do it anyways. I don't spank to hurt them. I hardly ever spank my 10 yr. old anymore because she knows the rules, knows she'll be punished, and chooses to do the right thing. If she didn't disobey, there'd be no spanking. Don't tell me its now my fault if she misbehaves. She has a brain. She makes her choices. If we don't raise her right, my husband and I might as well give her over to the jail now. Who wants THAT for their kid. So get over it already.

Answer 4

I turned it around the first time they did it, My dad did something I didn't like, and I spanked him, they never did it to me again.

Answer 5

I may have been spanked a couple of times as a child, but it wasn't a habitual form of pusnishment in my house.  It didn't do me any harm, I rarely got into trouble because the few times I was spanked I can tell you I did NOT repeat the action. I can safely say I turned into a decent adult who acts responsibly.

There is a line you have to draw between swatting or spanking and abuse.  When you hit a child in anger or to "get them back" for something they did,  I feel that is wrong.  But a swat on the backside when your child is running headlong into a busy street, or a quick smack of the hand of a child reaching for a stove burner, I don't have a problem with.  What is the alternative?  A child badly injured from something preventable.

I haven't spanked my daughter, and I don't really see myself doing it in the future.  That has a lot to do with her personality and mine, and not so much with morals about the idea.   But I think if she was about to do something very, very dangerous and I needed to capture her attention immediately, I would do it.

Today you either hear about people who abuse their kids, or neglect to parent them at all.  There are a lot of people out there who find a middle ground.  Maybe that includes spanking but it depends on the situation and the parent.  You can't pigeonhole its use with blanket statements and ideas like you've used in your question.

Answer 6

Violence breeds violence.

Hitting children teaches them a lesson - that lesson is, that you can hit those who are smaller and weaker than you.

I remember watching when the mother of a friend of mine slapped her small daughters hand while saying "Don't hit your brother".  I was a kid and it didn't make sense to me then, and it doesn't make sense to me now, forty years later!

I wish there was a way to find out if all those old people who are being abused (elder abuse), by their middle-aged children and family members, spanked and whacked their kids with a belt when they were young?  

Wouldn't that be an interesting set of statistics.

Answer 7

Spanking is just a way to say NO very boldly. It doesn't leave long lasting effects to the child. It tells the child that what they did was wrong. The message doesn't get across to a small child when they've done something bad by saying "NO" only. Children love their parents regardless because, hopefully, the parent won't resort to spanking as the only tool of punishment, and there is more love given than punishment. Spankings should only be used with very bad things that the child needs to become aware not to do ever again.

If you look at today's teens and kids, there are SO MANY bratty, rude, misbehaving kids. This is because parents don't make the children see there are consequences for very bad behavior, and so they just go on thinking it's ok. Spanking can help kids understand to be better people.

Answer 8

You make a good point, actually. I think a lot of it is social conditioning to love your family no matter what. That idea also partially explains why many child abuse victims still love their parents when they're young and also why many children feel responsible when their parents fight or split up.

The truth is, not all parents are right and not all parents are good. I personally believe parents who lived by the ideas of "children should be seen and not heard" are the same type who instilled fear into their kids and expected their children to always love and respect them. In my opinion, that can either stay in a person's mind or it can make a person resentful.

Spanking itself is not always wrong, but it should be used as a last resort and for smaller kids, not preteens and teenagers.

Answer 9

Erm, I was disiplined , not harmed. There is a huge line between being reprimanded and being beaten. I remember the last time I was spanked and I swore that I would never do what I had done again. Defiantly worked for me. And I never thought for a seond that my parents were cruel and didnt love me and wouldnt protect me. I think that of course people who were abused would be more sensitive to physical punishment but when appropriatly put in use it is an effective form of punishment and/or lesson learnt.

Answer 10

I was spanked, so what.  I'm an adult and I got over it long ago.  It's probably the reason I don't do stupid things in my life because I don't want to pay the consequences.  Things are just easier if you listen to wisdom.

Standing a kid in a corner or sending him to his room, with the TV and computer isn't really a punishment.  "Go to your room!"  "Cool!"

Answer 11

I honestly cannot remember a single spanking I received as a child. I know I got many, but I don't remember them. Guess it didn't scar me for life, huh? I was not harmed by getting my tail whooped when I needed it.

Spanking is NOT abuse. Spanking does NOT leave lasting physical or emotional scars.

Answer 12

I was only punished that way when I REALLY did something bad--and it helped me be a better person. Likewise, it taught my sons (now in their 20s) that extreme misbehavior brought serious consequences!

I know a lot of people who do not spank, and their kids are HORRIBLE little brats. Most of them have the upper hand on their parents--and it is the parents' own fault.

A swat on the butt never hurt anybody...but whipping with a belt or something is completely overboard.

Answer 13

I was spanked as a child and  I think it did me more harm than good. No way would I ever say that it was good for me.

I chose not to spank my daughter.