Forum posting, need to shut up - What should I do?

Question

I joined a support forum a while ago (to replace another source of support). Having initiated a number or topics there, it became clear that I am too negative for that community. Throughout my time there they were amazingly supportive, but I knew I never really deserved to talk to any of them.

I asked to be banned from the forum a number of times, but the admin mostly ignored this. I would say things, then regret it, feel guilty about posting anything and about my posting frequency... I tried to stop myself from posting, but each time something came up I'd go running to them for support (barely lasting a week without posting, at most).

Recently, one forum member was brutally honest with me and stated that she would no longer speak to me as I had consistently met her attempts to help with negativity.

I know I now MUST NOT EVER post there again. I asked to be banned, again, but the admin will not ban me. I need to have the self-control not to make any more posts... the self-control to shut the *** up (asking things here is almost as bad!)!!! Nothing I say is worth saying, nothing I think is worth thinking... I need to realise that and just get over myself, and stop being such a selfish, whinging piece of rubbish.

How can I do that? How do I just make myself go away and leave everyone alone?

Answer 1

I am not licensed as a Doctor but I will tell you as a good person that your a a bit negative. But you already know this. right. I think that you have finallyfiguredd out that you are not the Doctor. I don't think that youhavee a great big problem. So be happy, don't worry. Have a blessed day.

Answer 2

The strange thing that you say is that you don't "deserve" to be there, which is completely running yourself down. Of course you deserve to be there.. it is FOR SUPPORT, and that is what you are asking. Even the adm. won't "ban" you, which they would, if you were acting contrary to rules.  

Everyone is a worthwhile person, which seems to be an issue for you. And we all are worthy of asking for help. There is a balance between expecting everything for ourselves.. and the other extreme, not feeling worthy of anything.  Perhaps it was the other person who was too harsh and negative TO YOU.  Since you admit you also have a hard time talking to the therapist.. sounds like you are holding everything inside, out of fear, maybe.  That does not make you bad or worthless.

One thing about here.. we all have screen stuff to keep us anonymous, which is so we can feel  freer to say things.

I hope you can allow the therapist to help you find the reason why you feel so down on yourself, and help you change that to being able to speak when you need to, without feeling guilty.  I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.  

Answer 3

ummmm...i think you might need like professional help..instead of posting on the computer...you sound pretty emotional and depressed...maybe you should look into a therapist

Answer 4

I agree, you really need some professional help! I don't know why you feel that way about yourself, and it is a shame. There is good in everyone of us. You are a child of GOD, and he made no mistakes honey! You need to find the good in yourself, and work on the stuff you don't like. As far as the postings, well that's what those support groups are for. Maybe you are in the wrong one. You also need to realize that it is only one persons opinion and they too are there for help. Good luck and I really hope you get to feeling better about yourself! Also there is a great support group that I go to when I feel down or just need advice and it is dailystrength.com if you want to try that.