Foster, Adopt or having a child of your own???

Question

Between fostering, adopting and having a child of your own which would you choose and why?

I'm curious to see peoples different views on the subject.

Answer 1

my own child because it's apart of me and my husband.

the others child you get attach and then they get taken cause thre mother wants them.

Answer 2

I have 3 kids naturally but if I can later in life I want to Foster so that I can help kids in bad situations

Answer 3

I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster of fostering a child.  If I am going to bring a child into my home, love and care for them, there is no way I would be able to let them go!!

Since my husband and I are both able to have children, we had biological children.  

However, if one of us had a fertility issue, we definitely would have adopted.

Answer 4

This totally depends on your situation. I was adopted (when i was older which i am especially grateful for because everyone just wants babies). I feel that adoption is a great thing. Foster care is totally different because they are not your child and they know it. (I was in foster care for 4 years(27 homes) prior to being adopted). If you are able to do foster care I would strongly encourage you to do so because of the need for foster parents nearly every where in the country. It is difficult though because of all the the situations that the children have come from. You only have a short time to show them the unconditional love that they need so much before they are shuttled off to the next place. If you are looking into adoption I would encourage you to look outside the infant box. There are so many forgotten children like me that just need a chance. Having a child of your own is nice to if you can't make the sacrifice of missing the first few years of your child's life to give them a chance (adoption). Good luck with whatever decision you make!

Answer 5

I plan on fostering and/or adopting in the next 5yrs. I am finally at a place in my life, where things are getting easier for me.

I would love to have my own child(ren) but being single, its a bit tough to do so...:)

So I would choose adoption because it gives a child a 2nd chance at a great life!!!

Answer 6

My husband and I have 7 children:  2 by birth, 3 by adoption, and 2 we are fostering.  We have fostered 27 children over 8 years and hope to continue for many more - children and years!  I agree that fostering is not for everyone - as far as having your heart broken, that's a given.  But we remind ourselves that we are doing it for the children, not for ourselves.

Answer 7

I plan on doing all 3, but I would first give birth to my children. Then, I would adopt. After my children have grown up a bit and I have more time to dedicate to troubled children who desperately need good homes, I'll become a foster parent.

Answer 8

I chose having a child of my own by adopting!

Answer 9

I love having my own son, but would like to adopt a middle child and have our own again for the third.

Answer 10

I'm not old enough yet but when I am I plan to adopt from either Ethiopia or Vietnam but Ethiopia is my first choice. I think after I adopt my kids and after they are grown and in college or out of college I will do fostercare or foster to adopt.

Answer 11

I would love to have my own kids. But then again i'm scared to death of labor. I may end up adopting kids. Depends on what my husband wants and the circumstances.

Answer 12

I have done all three.  I guess each is unique in its own way and each rewarding for different reasons.  I think having a biological child is amazing but I love my adopted child the same.  Fostering is great because I enjoy helping others.  I like meeting the kids/families and helping them during a tough time!

Answer 13

Actually we have 3 children of our own, once we have a bigger place we want to start fostering and see if maybe it leads to adopting. We have always known we wanted to adopt but never planned on having 3 in a row. So we will just have to see. I'm just very worried about getting attached to foster kids to have them coming and going, but i think it would be great to know that we are giving them a loving home environment for as long as we can!!!

Answer 14

I have 3 of my own (well, one stepson who lives us full time and has since he came home from the hospital, so I consider him mine), with another on the way. That being said, I always wanted to adopt! I just think it would be so nice to give a great home to a child who might not otherwise get one! Fostering is a great thing, also, although not anything I ever considered. I think it depends on the person.

Answer 15

My own.  That child is a part of you, a connection like no other in the world.  Don't get me wrong, adoption is outstanding and I admire those out there who can do it.  Fostering...I couldn't handle the in's and out's.  I get attached too easily and I know it'd hurt every time.

Answer 16

Adopt.  You know how sometimes you feel deep down inside that there's something you're supposed to do?  Since I was about 17 years old, I've felt like that's my calling in life.  As far as I know, I'm able to have children biologically; however, instead of feeling the need to have a baby like many women do (the "biological clock"), I feel like everything in my life is just part of the path that will lead me to adoption.  For years, I felt deep down that my child was in China, and so I studied Mandarin and learned about Chinese culture and even moved to Taiwan for a summer and spent 2 weeks in Beijing so that I could gain a deeper understanding of the culture.  With China tightening up restrictions now, my brain says that I have to be prepared to look elsewhere when I am ready to start the process in a few years, but my heart still says China.  We'll see.  I know that most people want infants, but I spent a week working with a class of ten 2-year-olds in an orphanage in India, and 2-year-olds are definitely still just babies!

Answer 17

Foster can lead to adoption.  I did both.  No, I don't have any kids of my own and, that is ok with me.  I have a wonderful son that I wouldn't trade for the world.  He is 13 now and yes starting that teenage years but, he was well worth all the fostering and the waiting to adopt a child.  I told my son once that he might not have grew in my tummy but, he grew in my heart.  God, gave us our son and gave our son to us...

Answer 18

I adopted my son and he IS "my own." Your choice of words leaves much to be desired. What you should have asked is "Among fostering, adopting, and having biological children..."

Answer 19

We have 3 kids of our own. My aunt & uncle had 5 of their own, adopted 3 (of differing backgrounds) and usually had a foster kid or two staying with them at the time. I thought this was amazing, and always wanted to do it myself. To be honest, I now see that my own 3 are enough of a challenge, (well, they are still young). But I would be open to the possibility of adopting a child at some point in the future.

My husband doesn´t really feel the same way - he thinks he would not be able to attach (emotionally) to another child the same way. He also thinks that it is better to sponser children (their providers / orphanages) in their own country& culture than to take them away from there. Well, I have to accept that, and at least we DO have 3! I think it would be a big mistake for one partner to push the other into adopting if they don´t truely feel up to it.

However, my hubby would (and has in the past) agree to taking in a foster child, and would have every intention of treating it equally etc. I would also agree to this - as long as it was a situation I could go along with. But as I said, at the present time I´m busy enough with my own, and it would be unfair to another child to take him/her in if I can´t keep up anyway.