Foster/Adoptive children with "attachment disorders"?

Question

One thing my husband and I have noticed with social services is that they're really quick to put a lable on "behaviors." We had some Somolian kids for foster for a while; they were preschoolers speaking to us in their second languge. They were labeled with "attachment disorders" because they called the man in charge "daddy" and the woman in charge "mommy." I think in their case, that was the word in their English vocabulary that best fit the scenerio.

I know attachment disorders are very real things in some cases, but does the above situation sound more like a language barrier thing than an attachment disorder?

Answer 1

Separation from one's natural family is almost a guarantee of some level of attachment issues anyway.  Granted, that diagnosis shoudn't be based solely on one factor, but you can pretty much guarantee there will be attachment issues anyway, diagnosed or not.  If you're planning to raise children who did not come from your body, you'll need to be educated about attachment issues regardless (which I'm sure you are anyway).  No matter what it's called, or who diagnosed what, be prepared to recognize and deal with attachment stuff.  Even if it never comes up, it's worth it to know how to recognize it.

Answer 2

Attachment disorders are very common in foster children.  There are basically four types of attachment: secure,  avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized.  If a child does not securely attach, they will wind up with an attachment disorder, or the more severe Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

The other thing with attachment disorders is that you need to look at the age of the child you are discussing.  For example, in a toddler, an attachment disorder might show itself as the child not staying near adults in a strange environment, whereas in a 6-year old, attachment disorder behavior might include excess friendliness and inappropiate approaching of strangers.

I think in this situation, the fact that they called you mommy and daddy could just be (a) what they have been calling all foster parents, (2) that is what they call elders in their country, or (3) they are displaying inappropiate friendliness.  It could be any of the three, but I bet they have diagnosed an attachment issue based on more than just that.

In general, since all foster kids are moved around and have their attachment interrupted, they have attachment issues, some more severe and some will show less severe signs like hoarding food, anxiety, trust issues, etc.

Answer 3

I agree that attachment disorders are very real.  As for labeling them because of the use of "mommy" and "daddy" Im not so sure about. If they were preschool age the diganosis is probably correct.  I have had a foster child for 1 year now and he has bonded beautifully with our family and seems very secure.  He will however go to anybody, at anytime and is absolutely not shy around strangers but doctors consider him to have no attachment disorders. Who knows if it will surface later though.

Answer 4

99% of children that are not with their natural mothers end up with attachment disorder, however I would not classify the use of mommy and daddy as such.  It may be a term of respect in their language.  There also may have been children to the foster parents and these children picked up on the term, thinking that is what they are supposed to call them.  Just like when an only child calls their mother or father by their first name because that is what everyone else calls them.

Answer 5

Attachment disorder is common, severe, and it doesn't go away.  If they said it's attachment disorder, it probably is.

Answer 6

Pfft doubt it.

Supposidely I have or had an attachment disorder.