Foster adopt vs. international adoption?

Question

Pros and cons please...we're trying to decide which would be best.

Answer 1

I think that it is better to do foster/adoption if you can.  It takes time and there might be some heartbreak, but you will be helping "our" children.  International adoption is expensive.  It is also giving a baby with no other hope a chance to be happy and healthy.  It is hard, but I think you should  go with the foster/adoption way.

Answer 2

Foster kids are here in the US and need a home and a family .  Most have suffered severe abuse and neglect and will come with baggage.  Getting past the baggage takes love, patience, and kindness, but you will be rewarded with an enormous about of love and thanks for giving the kid a second chance.

These kids are usually creative and resilient and are clear survivors.  

Some special examples:

They will marvel at the wonders of Christmas because they never had it in their bio-family.  

They will shriek with joy at their first birthday party, because they may be 6 years old, but they never had one until they came to live with you.  

They never knew if food was going to be available from one day to the next, so when your house has food everyday, they will be so happy...they might hide it under their beds for awhile, but that will pass.

When you read to them, they will curl up on your lap and fall asleep. No-one ever read to them before.

They have never been to the zoo, the park, or the movies.  All this will bring major excitement when you take them for the first time.

When they trust that you want to hug them and not hit them, they will ask for hugs all the time.....

.....need I say more?

Answer 3

The answer depends on what your criteria are for "best"

If you're looking for the children most truly in need of a new home, then I would say either children from foster care of older children overseas, especially those with special needs.

With overseas adoption, there is a lot to think about - keeping up on the child's culture, return visits to their homeland, tremendous amounts of research into the agencies, the programs, the laws of the country you're adopting from.  Ethics are a big concern due to child trafficking in many countries.  Most of the adult adoptees I'm friends with have searched for their parents, so I would only adopt from a country that could give you good information about that or possibly let you meet & keep in touch with the child's first family.

With foster to adopt, it's easier to keep in touch with or at least have information about the child's family. You don't have to do the extra work to keep in touch with the culture.  Where I live they do a series of eight seminars to license you for foster to adopt. Attending these classes would give you a really good idea of what's involved in foster adoption - pros and cons.

Answer 4

Would you be willing to give up everything you have and move to the country of the child you are adopting?  Would you be willing to learn a new language, adjust to a new culture, live among people who don't look like you, all for the benefit of the child?

If not, then why would you take a child from his/her country and expect them to do the same?

Answer 5

PRO FOR FOSTER CARE:

You get PAID to adopt children in foster care...  where else can you make a living out of the suffering of children?  Ofcourse, that means that the taxpayers will STILL be responsible to help you raise your child.

CON FOR FOSTER CARE:

The children are usually emotionally scarred from abuse and neglect.

PRO FOR INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION:

These children are usually younger and have had LESS time in the system to have been abused or neglected and do not have any social welfare system in their own government set up to help them at all.  They will be on the streets if no one adopts them.

CON FOR INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION:

Ignorant and self-righteous people think that it's all a scam.

Answer 6

I've done both and it really is a matter of personal preference.  Many people feel that adoptions at home take too long and cost too much.  Personally, I find it to be the other way around now that I have seen the costs of an international adoption.

In my case the international adoption cost about $800 but we lived in the foreign country at the time.  If we had lived at home and adopted the same child internationally it would have cost close to $30k.  We were just able to avoid all of the "middle men".  

Our domestic adoption took 5 months from the time we first applied to the time we had her in our home as a 4 day old and she was formally adopted 4 months later.   During that time we were recieving supports as her foster parents and the actual adoption stage of the process was totally free for us.  I can honestly say we've had to pay nothing for our domestic adoption through the foster to adopt program.

In our case, both adoptions were quick, both were either free or very inexpensive and both have been very successful.  At the same time though, a normal international adoption would have taken much longer and been much more expensive.\

If the race of the child doesn't matter to you, you have the money to spend and don't mind working though a process like this "long distance" then international aoption may be the route for you.  Personally though, I know that there are plenty of wonderful children right here at home that are waiting for loving parents.  

Study your options, listen to your heart and you will be fine.

Answer 7

Randy B gave you some great advice. We are in te middle of an International adoption but due to the increasing wait times we are considering fostering in the interim.

With domestic adoptions you will get more information on the child & some form of history (family history, mothers background etc..)

In a foster to adopt you will get paid to keep the child & if they become available for adoption you will most likely have the "first chance" to adopt.

Their could however be children that you care for that will be returned to their parents & you have to be able to deal with that as well.

International adoption is more expensive but once the child is home with you they are yours .

Good luck in your decision. All children near & far deserve a safe loving home.