Foster - adoption, advice and help.?

Question

My soon to be husband and i have been told, we might not be able to concieve. So our next thought was, adoption. Only we hoped to foster a baby and later adopt as our own. I have a friend that had done the same process and is a BIG advocate. We don't have a lot of money, yet we aren't poor. Comfortable. But , one thing i do know is we have love, and lots to give. Any advice on - How to, How it goes, The process and the out come, would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks! Please only serious awnsers...

Answer 1

I'm thinking the process probably varies widely state by state.  In our state, it's free, and income doesn't matter as long as you can pay your bills.  You can call the local DHS office and they should be able to get you started with the first round of paperwork and adoption classes.  You'll need to fill out a lot of paperwork, tell your life story, and the story of your marriage/family.  You'll have a homestudy after that.  Once the homestudy is completed, you can start submitting it for the available children.  The length of the wait will depend on many, many things.  We've been waiting since October of '06, and just got word that we might finally be going to committee.  I've heard the wait can be as short as 8 months after approval.  

I'd say that, altogether, the process was very simple.  It's also very, very in-depth, and it is a great time for soul-searching.  I'd recommend reading a LOT about adoption from the adoptee's perspective - it can really help to get your bearings and know what your children will be going through.  I'm sure you're also well aware that you'll need to research things like RAD and FASD, abuse, etc. and decide what you are able and willing to deal with in your family.  Some books I'd recommend are "Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew", and "Helping children cope with separation and loss".

I can't tell you much about the outcome (yet), but I came about foster/adoption the same way you did.  I have a friend who has adopted five children from the special needs program in our state, and it has been a wonderful experience for her and her family.  There have been MANY pitfalls, though, too.  I have learned a lot from her, and hope to always keep her experiences in mind while we are raising our child(ren).  Good luck to you!  Feel free to email me if you want.

Answer 2

I think adopting from foster care is great, I did it myself. (three older children)

My caveat and concern with foster to adopt, is that fostering is a job, a job to keep a child safe while the family works on their issues.  When you foster a child, you can treat them like your own, but if you get attached (and you will) and hvae to say goodbye (which you might) and you went in with this with intent to adopt, only hurt can come.  I have a problem with foster to adopt, I think they are two very different processes, and if you are fostering to adopt, then are you really in it to help the family, which is what fostering is really about.

Is it possible to adopt without the fostering part?  If not, then I guess just never go in with the "my child" mentality until the process turns to adoption.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

The first step is to contact your local child services.  It may be based on county.  Tell them that you're interested and they will set you up with the classes you need to take.  During those classes you will find out what the process is.  It's not a quick deal, there are a lot of things involved like a couple homestudy visits and a fire inspection as well as full physicals for you and your husband.

As mentioned already, foster care is difficult if you are trying to have a child.  The goal is to send the kids back to their parents, so if you are not prepared to care for them and then give them back you may just want to look into adoption.  In my county (Ohio) they can certify you to adopt through foster care.  You would be put on a photo listing and when agencies throughout the state have a child that can be adopted, they contact the agency who gets a hold of you.  

All in all, it's your decision, and foster care is a great choice, but just prepare yourself for the possibility of giving those kids back.

Answer 4

I'm not sure on the process, but my parents fostered a lot of kids and they turned out to be wonderfull people. My parents are still in touch with a lot of them. My parents are actually my grandparents. They adopted me and I am so gratefull they did. I would look up adoption agencies in your state and see how it goes. Its a great thing you and your husbnad are thinking about doing. There are so many children out there that need a good home. Good Luck I hope everything works out :)