Foster care/adoption guardian ad litem??

Question

Hi. We have recently welcomed home a toddler, with eventual adoption at TPR. He was formerly in foster care since birth. The fosters requested to see and hear from him often, but our case worker said that we should keep that at a minimum until a bond has be solidified with us as his parents, and has recommended that we never have him in their home--too many memories/confusion. Our pediatrician agreed. We have decided to send letters and pics, but not give them our address or visit for at least 1 year. His guardian ad litem is friends with the foster family. She has repeatedly suggested that she is disappointed that he wasn't kept in the foster family or that she didn't have enough say in permenant placement. She will be visiting our home once per month. Is she obligated to keep our private info (address, employment, what she thinks of us, etc. ) private...or can she discuss anything with the foster family? Thanks for any help you can give!

Answer 1

I can't say this because I have certain knowledge but because of my general sense of the government. I'm pretty sure that she can't share the information with the foster parents as this is confidential information. Further, since you feel that this guardian ad litem has a conflict of interest because she is friends with the foster family I think you can petition the court to assign another.

Congratulations and best of luck beginning your family!

Answer 2

she will not give info on who you are or where you are at or general info, she will tell them about the child's growth, adjustment ect and that's all, i have been foster parents to 16 kids, i know about the kids but not about who they are with unless the parents themselves contact us.  yes it is unusual for the child to be removed and given to aother home, fosters normally get first adoption rights unless someone gets stupid, and you cant fix stupid and the foster system has a lot of that.

Answer 3

Good question.  

I believe she is obligated to keep things private, but if she is friends with the foster family, it depends on her level of professionalism as to whether she will adhere to that or not.

I hope that the social worker can separate her "friend" hat with her "professional" hat.

Good luck.

Answer 4

She's obligated to keep it quiet. she doesn't have the power she obviously wants, and having her visit is going to be a little tough. Can you request another G.A.L. ? explain to the judge who granted the order that this person has personal interests that conflict, and be sure to tell the judge about her spoken dissappointment that the child was placed with you.

Answer 5

First, I also recommend getting a new GAL.  I think you have a valid point.

What may be missing here - did the previous foster parents really want to keep the toddler?  Generally, babies to toddlers are kept within the foster home as long as there is agreement and no problems.  There may be more to the story.

Gradually separate yourself from the previous family.  Opt to keep in touch via email.  Send pictures once in awhile with updates.  In time they will be able to let go and  you won't neecd to worry about whether or not they know where you live.

Time passes.  It is hard for us foster parents to let go of these kids, be patients with us :)  I'm a foster mom of 10 years.

Answer 6

Everything in foster care is supposed to be confidential. Unfortunately it is up to her to keep that private.

My question is do you really feel like it is in your toddlers best interest to keep him away (for a year) from a family that loved him for so many years? The move from one home to another is traumatic enough, but to keep him away from everything he knows could worsen the situation. (I am assuming that the FP's were decent loving people.) Maybe you can let them have some phone calls too. You have a wonderful opportunity to let them help you help him adjust. A shoulder to lean on when times get rough, because they know him like no one else does. Just my opinion