Foster home, to enter a child do ya gotta go to court? Dad can't help me with our 9 yr. old.?

Question

I am beginning to give in, sick of fighting w/ the courts, taking time off, waiting for answers, now my X cut out our sons insurance & my son needs medication for his ADHD, Impulsivity & ODD. Dad switched jobs so the insurance ends this month, he won't answer his phone, he won't call his son back, I hate him so much! Can't afford to take care of my son, tired, just can't do it all anymore.

Answer 1

Go get a job that has insurance and forget your husband or go and get him for child support.  Your child shouldn't be just tossed to the side because your tired or fulling with the problem.  Not to be mean but you should have thought about all of these problems nine years ago when you had s*x.  Your son doesn't deserve this.

Answer 2

You need a break. Can you have your son spend the night with his grandparents or friend while you get your head together and figure out your next move?  Sounds like you've been fighting these issues for years and you're at your breaking point. While he's away, you need to get a plan/goals in order to move your life forward...

Now about the insurance, if you know the company your ex works at, just call the company (or have child support call the company) and ask who his insurance carrier is AND if he's carrying him on the policy. They may ask documentation (court papers) be faxed so be ready. You don't need the insurance number to receive services, just the name of the insurer (believe me, the doctor and/or pharmacist will call the carrier to find out the numbers, etc.)!

Look into free or low cost family counseling and/or support groups to deal with your anger towards your son's dad and to get help/ideas to help you cope with a child with ADHD. Ask your pediatrician, co-workers and/or clergy for recommendations.

Finally, you need to financially be able to take care of your son in order to remove his father from the equation. Do what you need to do in order to bring about this change.

You don't want your son to go to foster care, you want the challenges you face to cease.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Get a job and then tell D.S.S. whats going on and tell them if they don't have it straightened out in a week, you're going to the news media.Believe me, they WILL get moving and moving quick!

Answer 4

First of all, do NOT give up your son to a foster care, if you do that, your son may be even worse in his behavior, and then the foster home may ship him back to you. NOt all foster homes do the best of care for children. Your ex-husband had no business cutting off the insurance for his medical bills, sooner or later he will have to pay for the medical bills whether he likes it or not.  I don't know what state your are living in, but in my state for some court cases involing a situation like this they do have a phone confrence with this issue, and things may be settled over the phone.  

What you really need to do is to get on the phone call your county and state agencies that can help you out with the situation you are in, and try to get insurance that your son can have for his medical bills if there is no satisfaction for the courts.  What he may get is insurance that is ran by the county or state, and hopefully the medical bills are not so high.

You also can try to have your son involved in some activites where there is a lot of children present besides school such as a swim team, or a basketball program where he can be with other kids, and he may have fun and enjoy being with the kids if you haven't tried this.

Answer 5

Honey, don't give up on your child so easily....I would do anything in this world for my kids. I would NEVER consider putting my children through foster care...it's not a good life to bounce around from home to home. You only think your child has problems now...I know wayyyy too many children that have been through the experience.

Go out and get a job...use your state funds. Do what you have to in order to take care of your child. Go to the ends of the earth for this child...he needs you as his mother. How do you think he would feel knowing that his father has already abandoned him and now his mother wants to?!? Don't make that mistake.

Talk to god and find it within yourself to do what you are supposed to do as a parent. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Answer 6

look into what your state offers for single mom's. You may not want to get government help, but you need it. You may be able to get things like day care coupons, so you can work and not worry about your child as much. You can always go to programs like WIC, they will give you all the info you need to keep you and your child healthy and safe.

Answer 7

see your local child protective services they should help you

Answer 8

If you live in the States you have access to Husky insurance for your son. It sounds as though you could use some help with emotional support as well. Call your social services and ask them what is available to you. Call 211 (infoline) and the people there are very helpful directing you to all sorts of groups and organizations just for your dilemma. Get help soon, your son needs you. You should ask social services what you can do to get help mandated to you by the court from the deadbeat. Do you have any kind of agreement from your divorce?

Answer 9

It can be trying handling a special needs child on your own.... How ever there are state agency's out there to help find them and use them.... How ever your son needs you don't give up please just pray and search for a way you will find it.....

Answer 10

I am sorry but it sounds to me like just because you were not blessed with a perfect child, you are just willing to give up. Honey, no child is perfect. Your son did not ask to be born into this and he sure as heck did not ask to be just thrown away because times got rough for you. First thing you need to do is grow up. There are many state and government agencies that can help you. Get off your butt and go find them. If you walk away from this child, you are no better than his dead beat dad. No one ever said being a parent was easy. Toughen up and get out there and find the help you need for you and your son. He deserves nothing but the best from you. And sure does not deserve being tossed aside. Is that really the life you want for him? To be in foster care? Moved from home to home, no stability, no family? You should be ashamed. Parenting is not something you get to get out of, like a marriage. There is no divorce in parenting. Grow up and take care of your child.

Answer 11

Nobody wants to be a single parent. but you have to start living as if your son's father does not exist. Put your feelings for your ex aside and think about your son. Do what you have to for you and your son to make it. There will come a point when you won't be so tired anymore. In the end it is relationships that matter and not money. Your ex has obviously abandoned your son do you want to abandon him too, because that is the way he will see it no matter what kind of medical care or money a new family could offer him! If you gave your son away you would regret it for the rest of your life and so would he.You can make it! Find all the resources that you can...county aid and programs, non-profit organisations, counselling, ADHD support groups, church ministry and prayer, school resources, local universities that offer free or reduced price counselling, child care, and law services in order to train their students, etc. Help is out there, you are not alone. Hang in there, it won't be this way forever.

Answer 12

Trying to do this on your own is very tiring. Being strong all the time takes it out of you. If you are not at your best then you can't give all the time and love you want to to your son.

See if there are any agencies that can send someone over so you can have a rest. Here in Australia we have this facility. Sometimes there are camps especially for kids who require care and this gives their carers respite.

Go after the father for child support. If he doesn't want to have anything to do with him that is his choice but he still needs to pay.

Hold off on the foster care until you have exhausted all other avenues.

Good luck