Foster or Adopt?

Question

I am working on certification towards becoming a foster/adoptive parent with my goal being adoption. I have to make a decision about certification, whether I want to be dually certified as a foster and adoptive placement or certified as an adoptive placement only.

Anyone with experience, I'd really like to know your thoughts on the subject.

Answer 1

If you think you might ever want to adopt then do the dual certification.  This will save you some time if you ever do want to adopt a child that you foster.  We did that just to be on the safe side.........it doesn't mean you have to adopt but leaves the door open just in case.  Good luck foster adopt is a wonderful thing.

Answer 2

ADOPTIVE PLACEMENT ONLY,B/C TO MUCH HART BREAK IN FOSTER CARE.

Answer 3

adopt. I go to school with lot's of those kids and foster kids seem to have lots of problems because they are moved around so much and stuff, when you adopt they feel like you are really their parent, especially if you adopt when they are young!! But the foster kids at my school are always cussing the teacher out and they smoke a lot and just have lots of problems!! The adopted kids, you wouldnt even know they are adopted!

Answer 4

My husband and I talked about this for a few years before starting the process.  We decided not to foster because we work with troubled kids, and my husband said he doesn't want to go to work and come home to work some more.  When you adopt, you have the ability to get to know the child(ren) at least on paper before bringing them home.  That way, you can determine if the child's needs (or the needs that are known at the time) are something you can handle in your family; you can't do that with foster care.  

I wanted to foster far more than my husband did (I worked mostly with elderly and disabled folks; my experience working with troubled kids was sporadic and inconsistent until about 3 years ago, when it became full time - now I get where he was coming from).  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my work, I love the kids I work with, and it's an amazing feeling to be making a difference.  But I don't think I could handle having a treatment facility at home, lol.  Let me clarify that last statement...what I mean, specifically, is having kids with high needs coming in and out.  They come in with issues that we are expected to "fix", and when they are "fixed", the kids move on.  We do that at work, every day.  We want our home to be a haven, a place for family, unconditional love, and permanence.  

However, I think that if my husband and I were to ever get a divorce, I would STOP working with kids in facilities, and become a foster parent.  Most likely in therapeutic foster care.  I've got my own reasons for that, and it's not relevant to your question, so I'll leave it at that.  But those are our reasons for making our decisions.  Feel free to email me.  Good luck!

Answer 5

It will depend on how your county and state does things more then anything else.

I would personally make it an opportunity to be as well certified, trained and ready as you possibly can be. Being certified as both will show you have readied yourself in all possible ways.

The thing to always remember is that at nearly all steps of the process YOU are ultamtily in control of the choices you make. At every point you have the right to say, "Yes" or "No" about placement of a child.

My advice to foster and straight adoptive families is to always keep in mind that this honor is far more important than an average parenting position. We need to be "The Best Advocates" for the children placed into our care.

Even a **Specific** straight adoptive family may not end up being the best possible situation for a child or family. The more information and involvement you can attain the better you will be able to make choices before you become a part of a child's life.

Get all the certification that you possibly can. I also suggest that you get a large office box and keep all of the training, certification, and information in one big box. Often, during the process you Will find that something from the steps along the way you didn't think would apply does....

If there are any parent support groups be sure to attend as soon as they allow you. Most states and counties have Foster Parent and Adoptive Parent support groups some want completed certification before letting families attend but, many will allow you to attend before being completely certified.

Attending these meetings will put you in the same room as other families in your area doing exactly the same thing you are. These groups will let you know more personally how things right in your area are actually working.

Just because You become certified for something does not mean you are forced to accept the honor of any child in your home. You will always always always be able to "Pass" on accepting responsibilty for any child you do not feel you will be the "Best Advocate" of.

Good Luck

Answer 6

I would say if your goal is adoption they only take children that can be adopted, I was in foster care in my teen years and it is something that I have thought about doing at a later time in my life so I talked to my foster families about it and some of  thier experiences were very heartbreaking because you do get attached to the children and it is heartbreaking to let go.  Good Luck Hope this helpled

Answer 7

I am not a professional, but I was once an adoptive and a foster child. With being an adoptive parent you will be able to make a permanent home for a child. As a foster parent you can be a short term parent for a child in need. Its so up to you, but as a child it felt good to have an adoptive parent that wanted to make me theirs!

Answer 8

It would be much easier for you to adopt if you have the dual cert.  The transition for you and the child is much easier this way also.  Good luck!

Answer 9

Its really a matter of choice ... if you become licensed to foster care / adopt that would be the best choice since your ultimate goal is adoption, and it will help with subsidy payments as well.  Since most children placed in foster care will also be available for adoption and this will minimize their moving around.

I hope this helps

Answer 10

Go for the foster/adoptive option - that way if you are fostering a child and you fall in love and they come up for adoption, you'll have first choice to adopt him/her.  I was a young foster parent prior to marriage and babies and that's what I did.

Answer 11

adoption is hard

Answer 12

get both

Answer 13

I am adopted, but I have been with my family since I was 2 days old (they took me home from the hospital, literally) and am now 25 years old.  I can't possibly imagine what life would be like if things happened differently.

Answer 14

A friend of mine has adopted 4 foster kids and they are great. She ended up getting "crack babies" who really needed long term placement in one home. there are a lot of people who want to just adopt and not have the burden of fostering a possibly troubled child, but if you have the heart and guts for it do both. The foster kids are the one who really need someone.

Answer 15

Personally, after having considered adoption I did not know where to begin... a friend at work told me about her cousin being a foster parent and gave me the number to this lady that started her own organization.  After speaking with this lady I had a better understanding about which route to go.  So in short, I walked into the situation thinking about straight adoption and was then told about the Foster to Adopt way.  I was told that even if I went through straight adoption I'd be able to take the baby home but then would not be able to finalize the adoption for another 6 months, meaning that anyone can come out of the woodworks and still claim the child... I was told that that is truly heartbreaking.  It was mentioned to me that the best way to go was Foster to Adopt... that way even if you get attached to the child and someone claims that child then you know that the baby was never really yours but if no one comes to claim the child then you have first choice for adoption.  I go to my first orientation next month for the Foster to Adopt and I'm really excited.  I wish you luck and would love to hear more about your journey.

Answer 16

I think it would be nice to do dual Foster/adopt. If you think you can handle it when fostering you could have a child from only a few days, to a few months in some cases a few years.  

Could you handle getting attached and then having the child have to leave?  Even more if you have a foster child for a few months or years. And the child ends up going back to its birthfamily or even adopted by another family?  If you can handle that I would do the dual if you feel you cant handle it I would just go with adoption.

Answer 17

Adoption is better, but that does mean you'll make a good parent.

Answer 18

If you have the emotional capability to handle it, then I commend you for being able to be a foster parent - God knows good foster parents are needed.  My mother's best friend is a foster mother, and is in the middle of a battle to keep a foster child she's had for the past three years, since he was two weeks old.  

If you are unsure if you can handle having a child who has been with you for so long that you have come to love the child taken away at a moment's notice, then that is not the way to go, and you would want to be certified for adoptive placement only.

Whichever you decide, I wish you luck.  God bless you for opening your home.