Fostering/ADOPTION - Concerned about the approval process even though know it is absolutely necessary - like?

Question

most potential fosterers/adopters I just wonder what the process will involve, how formal/intrusive it will be etc?

The last time I got the pack the way it was worded just put me off as it sounded quite an ordeal - is it?

Thanks so much in advance.

Answer 1

We did an international adoption & also became foster parents later.  The international adoption was much more complicated and intrusive than becoming foster parents (the same process is used to foster as to adopt through foster care).

You'll go through foster/adoptive parent training classes.  These are eye opening & incredible.  You'll learn so much about yourself, your family & the children you may be bringing into your home.

You'll fill out lots of forms.  You'll be fingerprinted, have child abuse/neglect and criminal background checks.  You'll have a home visit (don't be intimidated by this, they're not checking to see if you keep a house like Martha Stewart, just making sure your place is a safe one for a child & your family will be a good one for a child...no white glove there!).

You'll probably do lots of waiting while the background checks are done (in our state, that's the roadblock slowing things down).

I'm glad they do these things because it weeds out the people who shouldn't be doing it & protects the kids.

Go for it...walk through the process one step at a time and you'll be fine.  You'll meet some cool people along the way & you'll be blessed beyond measure for fostering or adopting.

Answer 2

Here is what we had to do to become foster parents.  

First, we got the paperwork and filled it out.  We had to list references on the paperwork (they were contacted and asked questions), agree to a background check, stuff like that. A case worker came out to our home and inspected it, they looked for things like square footage (you have to have enough space), potential hazzards, etc.  They told us what to fix, in our case, it was child locks, a lock for the workshop and a new fire extinguisher.  Then they inspected again once we fixed these issues.  After all this, we attended foster parent training which took several weekends and when we completed it they certified us as foster and adoptive parents.  It does take quite a bit of time but for us it was worth it.  We have been able to parent so many wonderful kids and have learned so much from them.  We have even adopted one of them and hope to adopt more.

Answer 3

I think the process can be a bit overwhelming for either foster care or adoption, until you have gone through it!  But hang in there, it will get easier.  Having done 100's of homestudies for mostly adoptions, I can give you the requirements by most agencies for adoption, but there are some differences in foster care.  The overall requirements can be less stringent, but there are other requirements such as square footage for the bedrooms, etc. that are only for foster care.

Many of these requirements are set in stone in our state, as they are with every state. And then the agency approving you will also have their own requirements -- some may have "Christian only" or "No smoking" reqirments, for example. But the basic requirements are as follows:

Job and job history - stable employment history

Salary - decent stable salary reflected on your tax returns, pay stubs and employment letters

Taxes - good history of completing verifiable tax returns

Marriages - usually look at number (less than three is preferable!) and length of current marriage (usually 3+ years)

Divorces - will need copies of the decrees, and names of exes, as well as explanation of reason for divorce

Children - children will be interviewed, even if live with you part time or if they are grown

References - must have personal and professional (therapist, rabbi, teacher) references who have known you both for 5+ years ideally

Medical - letters from doc stating no communicable or catastrophic ilnesses/diseases, and state that you are mentally/emotionally and physically stable

Mental - stability

Abuse history - from childhood on up, history and how you have resolved or coped with it

Arrests - if you have one, why and when, with details, and resolution, verified by criminal and child abuse background checks in all states where you have lived

Income - must be sufficient to more than just pay all bills and expenses, and not be in debt or bankruptcy

Pets - must be child friendly and up on all vaccinations and healthy

Home - must have a "home" -- not just a house -- can be an apartment or house, but needs to be organized, warm and child friendly and safe

Cars - do not have to be new, but need to be safe and dependable with approved car seats

Friends/neighbors - appropriate, not partiers and moochers

Family - need to be enthusiastic about the adoption for the sake of the child!

Counseling - history of marriage counseling and resolution, as well as mental health counseling and therapist's names and reports

Alcohol and drugs - no drug use and alcohol in strict moderation, and if have history of addictions, must have proof of resolution

Lifestyle - generally fit and appropriate for children, such as not a "clubber" or partier, no risky habits

Hobbies - what you do with your spare time

Religion/Spirituality - do not have to attend church unless the specific agency reqires it, and some birthmothers want only a certian religion or practice or the absence of it

Motivation to adopt - why and history of desire to adopt

History with children - caring for nieces/nephews or friend's children, or volunteer work documnted

Childhood - everything from your birth on up, such as family activites, discipline, parental roles, discipline, etc.

Family of origin - how close are you now and how often do you stay in contact, etc.

Marriage - stability and strengths and weaknesses, duration, usually at least 3 years

s*x life - normal, agreeable to both (indication of stability)

Exes - why ex relationships ended

Attitudes toward birthparents - caring, open, appreciative or want nothing to do with her (indication of attitude towards child as well)

Attitudes towards people of different socio-economic status - general attitudes reflect how you may see child, or birth parents

Attitudes about continuing contact with birthmother - open, semi open or closed -- most agencies will not work with families who want a closed adoption as this is not in the best interest of the child

Expectations of child - are the expectations realistic or not, such as must be bright and look like us (argh)

Health Insurance - must have adequate medical insurance for the child, as well as for selves

Good luck to you!!

Answer 4

The packet is meant to scare people off that either have a past to hide or don't want to work that hard.  don't let it scare you.

the approval process is so basic it's scary.  They finger print you and check your arrest record.  They also want you to answer questions on debt and income, but they don't check it.  They visit your house twice and then suddenly someone small is calling you mom!!! while I am a safe person, I don't know about everyone else.

Answer 5

I was watching a programme on BBC/ITV (can't remember which) a few days ago which was showing how much you need to go through to become a potential fosterer/adoptee, they have to check ur house, ur background, ur family, anyone who will be in continous contct with child e.g. neighbours etc. Mainly just to check if you're suitable, your home is suitable, the child will be safe and secure etc. They also are lately scrutinising the health offosterers/adoptees, u may need to have a health/medical check.

It can be a long and daugnting process but often the result at the end is well worth it... xxxx Good Luck whatever u decide to do.