Found out Daughter has been lying for MONTHS?

Question

I have a7 year old daughter and I love her very dearly. But I am just furious w/ her right now. I was cleaning her room and in a cabnit I found four unused things of toothpaste. Everyday I ask her if she brushed her teeth and I always hear yes mom. This is definatly GROSS! (who knows when the last time she brushed her teeth is, probably I should take her to the dentist) I was thinking that because she proved to me that she can't be responsible and take care of her I will treat her like a little 3 year old and brush her teeth for her, and she can kiss her toooth tunes toothebrush goodbye. for a long time. Do you think that is fair?

1. I am concerned about what other parts of hygene she has been lacking on

2. I will not be lied directly to my face for almost 4 months (she kept telling me she was running out of toothpaste and I kept buying her more thinking a big girl of 7 could brush her own teeth)

Answer 1

what if she IS brushing, but just not using toothpaste?

Answer 2

Well you should learn to be a parent and take control of it and be more attentive with your child, stand with her, and watch her do her teeth. she is 7 years old your making a fuss over nothing...

Answer 3

well she is seven remember she is a big girl. and you need to also remember she is a kid,

so i think i would just watch her when it comes to brushing her teeth, and just tell her you love her but her brushing her teeth is very important, and explain to her why, and also explain to her that lying is not acceptable.

i have 3 kids and i dont think thier breath smells bad,

mommy of 3 kids 8,3, and 1

Answer 4

Yup, this is the age that hygiene goes to the toilet for girls. When my oldest hit that age she barely washed her hair, cried before taking a shower, lied about brushing teeth, stopped flushing the toilet etc.

We nipped it in the bud. Time to brush teeth! I went with her with my toothbrush and did mine at the same time. After leaving bathroom, if it wasn't flushed, I grabbed her hand and lead her back to the bathroom. I refused to take her anywhere with me (she had to stay home with daddy) if she didn't shower well. I talked to dentists (they see this ALL the time) and our doctor and he sees it constantly, too. It's pure laziness but it's not uncommon.

Get her a basic toothbrush and an hour glass and stand there and brush yours, too. If she stops before the hour glass runs down, start it all over until she's done.

PS- Get a 2 minute hour glass.

Answer 5

I wouldn't literally brush her teeth, but I would stand in the bathroom with a timer to make sure that she is brushing for the recommended time.  The fancy toothbrush would be gone as well.  I mean, she obviously wasn't using it, so what's the point?

At 7, I think she's also old enough to sit down and have a talk with.  You need to be given an answer as to WHY she lied for so long.  She also needs to understand that not brushing her teeth could lead to serious dental problems.  Let her know that you aren't upset that she didn't brush her teeth, but that she lied about it.  I think just a good  long, rational, mature conversation is in order.  No yelling or scolding, just a real heart-to-heart.  It may also be the perfect time to start explaining that her body is going to be changing in the next few years and she needs to learn to take care of it.  This includes proper hygiene.

Answer 6

1. She is 7 you should have been checking that her teeth looked clean and by 7 she should have already been to the dentist several times.

2. A 7 year old still needs help in these areas that is part of being a parent you are acting like she is 15 or something.

I agree she should be punished for lying but in reality it is your job to make sure she is doing these things, no 7 yr old does all this on their own.

Answer 7

How old are you? You sound quite young and inexperienced. I don't mean that as a slam, I'm just saying you can't expect a 7 yr old to be responsible to be consistent with personal hygiene at this young age. I agree with the others; you must supervise your child in person and stand with her while she brushes her teeth. She is not mature enough to be trusted to brush on her own, even if she does brush, you need to watch and make sure she is brushing correctly!

It was wrong of her to lie about brushing, but YOU are the adult and YOU should have been supervising her, so ultimately it is YOUR responsibility! Fairness does not play out in this scenario. Be the grown up and supervise your child in everything she does. Just like other areas of hygiene, she doesnt know what is lacking. It is your job to teach her, and be present to make sure she does it right!

Answer 8

Here is an idea, this is what we do with our 8 yr. old. We make her do the plaque revealing mouth wash, or tablets, in front of us. Then we look at her mouth when she is done brushing to make sure she got it all. She complains about it, but she has also been caught lying about brushing her teeth. So far it has worked for us. Oh and the crest tooth paste for kids, it makes their breath smell good (at least for a little while). I would also take her to the dentist and ask them to show her what her teeth will look like if she doesn't brush them and take care of herself properly.

Answer 9

YOU ARE HER MOTHER ,BE A MOTHER AND MAKE SURE SHE DOES IT RIGHT AND DO IT FOR HER....... YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE IN TROUBLE NOT HER. WHAT A WONDERFUL MOTHER YOU ARE

Answer 10

i would be really pissed. I would wash her mouth out with soap for lying. Then I would make her set aside time everyday where she as to brush her teeth and floss and rinse with mouthwash, but you must be present since you obviously can' t trust her. I would be concerned whether or not she is using proper hygiene when she bathes, uses the bathroom, etc. Good luck

Answer 11

I am not a mother but I can say as a daughter and a soon to be mother. I would go on the internet and print out a bunch of pictures of dirty rotten teeth and gum disease and things of that nature. Ask her  "How are you going to eat your favorite food without any teeth?" I think you absolutely should take away the tunes brush that is fair Maybe you need to stand in the bathroom with her while she brushes to make sure she does it. Your child needs to know how serious the issue of lying and poor hygiene is. If you are not tough now she will think it not a big deal especially that young she has plenty of time to learn the right behavior.    Good Luck  

Answer 12

Instead of ranting and raving about her teeth, sit her down and explain to her that the reason she has to brush her teeth is so that they don't get rotten and fall out, and that if she doesn't her breath will stink.  By not brushing she was trying to be in control of herself.  Is it possible that you are too controling?  As for the lying, that is a whole differnt thing.  Don't incorportate the fact that she lied with the fact that she didn't brush her teeth.  Have a whole different talk with her about the lying.  Let her know how you feel about it and that it is not acceptable.

Answer 13

I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.  Kids want to see what they can get away with.  In the future though, stand over and make her brush her teeth twice as long as she should, 2-3 X a day.  Tell her she has to make up for lost time.

Answer 14

I wouldn't brush her teeth like a baby.  Instead, at bedtime, check to see that it's been done by looking at her teeth.  You'll be able to tell.  Either their nice and shiny and clean or they're not.     More importantly, WHY is she not brushing her teeth?  Do they hurt?  Is there a problem?    Is she not brushing them for a specific reason?  You need to check into the "why" of this, it's important.

Answer 15

You know, mom, that you do NOT want to make this a power struggle. And if you brush her teeth for her, you will cause resentment. You do, afterall, want to make her responsible and not just punish her for lying.

SUPERVISE her teeth brushing..That will not cause conflict and you will make sure she is brushing.

Do not brush her teeth or humiliate her. It will backfire, promise.

Answer 16

well i dont think you should brush her teeth for her but something definitly needs to take place because taht is totally unacceptable. i would just wather her brush her teeth, like lets got o the bathroom adn im going to watch you brush your teeth, if you think she hasn't been doing other things, sit with her and wath her do them, and tell her that lying is not ok and that hygein is very important

Answer 17

That a 7 year old doesn't want to take the time to brush her teeth is no surprise to me at all. And I really don't think you should be so angry about this. Of course you don't want her to think she can lie to you, but kids do do this.  She should know you are disappointed she lied. And now she must prove to you she has done things. I had to ask my son when he was 12 did you shower, did you use the soap, did you use the shampoo to wash your hair. Kids do not want to take the time out to do hygiene. Showing them a routine can help.

As far as brushing goes. Watch her as she brushes her teeth. Keep an extra toothbrush downstairs (if you have a downstairs) I had the kids wash their hands and brush their teeth as soon as they were home from school.  

Answer 18

I know how you feel because I went through this with my son . He lied and told me that he was brushing his teeth and I would go to the bathroom and check his toothbrush dry as a bone.. and I would ask him and he would say yes mom I brush my teeth ... ooohhh that would get me upset until I told him if you don't brush your teeth you gonna get cavities and I took him to the dentist they said he hasn't been brushing good and he had to get a baby tooth root canal and now he brushes his teeth.

Answer 19

Well the best way to handle it for the next month or so is to NOT believe her.  That will show her how her lying and being dishonest makes her hard to trust.  Tell her that you have to double check on everything until she proves that she is trustworthy.

Other than that, I wouldn't do much more and I wouldn't stomp around all angry that she lied.  Show her calmly and matter of fact what lying does, not emotionally.

Answer 20

Well if she hasn't been brushing her teeth I doubt she will be missing her tooth tunes toothbrush.  Maybe just supervise her, watch her brushing her teeth.  Get a little sand timer and tell her that she has to brush her teeth until the sand goes all the way through.  Tell her that she is going to have stinky breath until she brushes them twice a day everyday.

If she hasn't been brushing her teeth for 4 months wouldn't you have noticed the plaque buildup and the bad breath though?

Answer 21

make sure that she is brushing her teeth by supervising her sometimes but then give her a chance to tell the truth of whether or not she is brushing her teeth and if she's still lying it just shows that she has no respect 4 u or what u say, she's only 7 but it starts with little things like brushing ur teeth then it to something biger as she gets older, be strict and stand ur ground, trust me she'll start listening to u.

Answer 22

shes 7, they lie, watch her brush her teeth, monitor her personal hygiene, thats about all you can do on top of punishing her for the lies.  and that i would do