Free form, opinions?

Question

It's a divine oath to a new found testament of life

We who departed from a modest world

I see time aviate like bullets

Occasionally striking upon something that will leave a stain

He scrawled his name on the walls of history

Hoping his father would create him a dynasty

Naivity wasn't all that, was it?

Embracing ignorance won't get you out of this one

Modest brunch turned to naked lunch

Where I met little miss muffet and I sat down beside her

One moment passed...

Two moments cried...

Until we slayed the beast

And killed the spider

The seconds will crack open this sanctified corner of sustainabilty

Only time departs us...

Answer 1

This reads as if each line is a single statement - with no link between them.

Free form doesn't mean (in my eyes) total freedom to ignore communication with others.

Sorry - it doesn't do it for me.

Answer 2

Only you will ever know what all that means. Is this how you want it? Doesn't really strike a common chord with me.

I only liked lines 3&4. Original wording, I think.