French to english translation of a comedy?

Question

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

This is Eddie Izzard a comedian, and I don't know what he is saying after 1:44. Please help! I greatly appreciate any help I can get, apparently it was very hysterical, thank you.

Answer 1

il like cofee black coffee so stong

im burundy's president i know it well

mozambique, tanzania

i have to leave now cause my granmom is

you hhave a room

yes we are a hotel

i would like a room with ocean view with shower

something about spiders

the cat is under the table

monkey on branch

wher's the monkey

on the branch

is it in the room

no its not

take your position quickly quiclky

what's happening

im english im here on vacation.....

your a...???traversty???ezecutif

very good

but the mouse is under the table

cat on the chair

and monkey is deissappeared

the monleys aver there now

bicycle

he plays a banjo

now he's driving the bus

there is a bomb in the autobus,

you must drive it...

sorry but i couldn't type quick enough but that's about all i could top. it was pretty funny though

Answer 2

I love eddie izzard! Hold on and I'll give you the translation in my edit.

EDIT: Starting at 1:44 - 2:39

Yes. I love coffee. Black coffee. Very strong and very hot! ( makes hot burn noise). With a spoon to stir. Ah the curves of the spoon. the curves of her/the breast. i put the spoon in my mouth. I am the president of Burundi. Ah yes Burundi, I know it well. Very close to Zieher( its an african country and i don't know how to spell it sorry!)very close to Mozambique, no Tanzanear Tanzanear ha ha ha. Yes ( he says something about chicken pox i think. I couldnt make it out) I must leave right now be cause my grandmother is on fire.

Then at 2:46 - 3:58

-Do you have a room sir?

- Yes we have a room, we are a hotel.

- I would like one room with a big bed, with a view of the sea, with a shower with a spider.

- yes sir. uhhh its room, room 42

- thank you but the mouse is under the table, that cat is on the chair, and the monkey is on the branch.

- what? there is a monkey on the branch? cat....mouse? where is the monkey

- the monkey is on the branch.

- do you have a monkey in the room?

- no the monkey is not in the room. Michelle is in the room with the president of burundi.

Next starting at 4:15 - 5:25

- someones coming you positions now. hurry hurry. Hello!

- hey hello, whats happening?

- hello, i am english. Im on vacation here. It's very beautiful here.The color. Very beautiful.

- are you a transvestite?

- yes i am a transvestite, but not a typical transvestite. I am a executive transvestite. A transvestite of action.

- very good.

- but the mouse is under the table. the cat is on the chair and the monkey ...... disappeared.

After saying the monkey would f**k off at 5:35 till end

- ah the monkey is over there right now. he is riding a bike. He's playing a banjo. he's smoking a pipe. Now he is stopping. He is reading a newspaper. Now he is in a bus and he is driving a the bus. and sandra bullock is in the bus. there is a bomb in the bus. you must drive the bus 5 kilometers per hour. and keanu reeves is in a car.  There is no hair and jeff daniels is already dead. Look! he is jumping onto the bus. And denis hopper oooo denis hopper. What evil. ( end of french)

some parts are a little iffy but this is everything he is saying