Friend Doesn't Want to Be Admitted to Hospital, What Shall I Do?

Question

I took a friend to the hospital today and spent the whole day with the friend in hospital right from early morning in England up to an hour or so ago (late night). The original plan was for this friend to go home the same day but the surgery started and finished much later than was expected. Moreover, this friend was in so much pain and was crying after the surgery about the pain. Now the nurses said it was best for the friend to stay overnight as the pain was severe and they could manage it better at the hospital than we could at home (painkillers, constant monitoring etc) but my friend insisted on not being admitted to the hospital, also this friend had to be back in the hospital early the following morning for a follow up. I tried consoling the friend when the crying was severe but the friend kept snapping at me and telling me to BE QUIET and SHUT UP. Eventually, I decided the nurses were right as my friend was obviously in a lot of pain which I couldn't provide the appropriate care for to be honest (paracetamol doesn't cut it) and I decided to leave the friend there to rest rather than drive the friend forty minutes home in a bumpy car ride and do the same thing early in the morning. Now the friend was obviously very pissed off and that has led me to question whether I did the right thing by allowing my friend to be admitted as suggested by the nurses against my friend's will. What do you think?

Answer 1

don't panic- she/he'll come round when they are better and will do nothing but thank you- you definitely did the right thing! hope that it all is ok with them!

Answer 2

When the dust settles and your friend is feeling better, s/he will realise that you did what was his/her best interests. You did absolutely the right thing.

Answer 3

You were right to do that.

I'm sure the pain was affecting your friends mood swings.

And I'm sure that they also had been on strong tablets so that also affected there mood.

If something bad happens tonight(not trying to worry you)then I'm sure they will be glad to be in a place that can give them care right when they need it.

Hope your friend gets better soon.

:)  

Answer 4

good call

Answer 5

He will thank you later...

Answer 6

wow this was very confusing but if i read it right i think it was the best thing i mean it wasn't like he/she was dying and those weren't ur "friend's" last wishes or something it is only fair to give that person the medical attention he or she needs. and u said u couldn't do it urself so yes i think u made the right call;)

Answer 7

You did the right thing for everyone. Sometimes doing the right thing means going against the wishes of your friend. You have some investment in this because you are acting as transportation.

I wish America had a single-payer universal health plan. That's a reason many Americans avoid the doctor and the hospital like the plague.

Answer 8

You should have done as he asked, some people deal with there pain differently and time always drags when you are sitting in a hospital bed.. If indeed he truly needed to stay at the hospital, he would have learned his lesson and not made the same mistake again. but don't be hard on yourself. You cared enough to help him when he needed it, thats what matters.

Answer 9

I think you did the right thing. I would have done the same thing.

Answer 10

I think you did the very best thing! You repeatedly refer to this person as a friend.  And friends do not talk to each other in the language you wrote (shut up ,etc) under normal conditions.  Your friend was not living under normal conditions.  

Pain, recovery from surgery (even minor surgery) alters the way we perceive information, process it give out information, and generally messes with our head.  That is why patients should not make decisions after surgery.  And in your case, since things did not go as planned, the original plan had to be scrubbed and a new one implemented.  You did the right thing and when your friend recovers and can think clearly, he/she will be grateful that you left them in hospital over night.  

You acted on behalf of your friend even though it cost you some anguish and pain...you are a true friend.

Answer 11

You did the right thing. Your friend was upset, he'll thank you later.

Answer 12

I think you totally did the right thing.  Sometimes we don't know what's good for us, and we can be quite stubborn.  Especially when you're in severe pain, you can't really think clearly.  It compromises your judgements.  If the way your friend was treating you is not normal behaviour then it was definately the pain talking which tells you right there that this person is in no condition to make the right decisions for him/herself.  You did good, and your friend will thank you.

Answer 13

It sounds like you did the right thing. When someone is in a lot of pain and on heavy pain medication, their moods are altered. He or she will probably forgive you most likely; or maybe even apologize for being so mean to you..

It makes sense to just stay overnight if you had to go back early in the morning anyway.

Don't feel Guilty...they'll get over it!  

Answer 14

You did the right thing.  

Answer 15

think you were right to leave him there

Answer 16

Hi. YOu did the right thing. Your friend needed more care than ouo could have given at home. Eventually your friend will see this and understand what you did. Take care x

Answer 17

I would have done the same thing. You did nothing wrong and you saved him/her a lot of pain and trouble. They will forgive you later on in life. I hope they get better.

Answer 18

I definitely agree that you did the right thing.  Surgery is very serious and should not be taken lightly.  I don't know why they would let your friend leave the hospital in the first place.  The only thing that I could think of is if your friend had an abortion.  A) because you need someone to go with you if your going to have it surgically done B) because abortions are serious pain and C) you are not disclosing any information other than "my friend" and "surgery" .  But anyway, I still think you did the right thing.  I would have done the same.  If its an issue that needs to be hidden from certain people make up a good story and move on.  It's not good to linger over things like this, they only get worse.

Whatever the case may be, explain to your friend why you did it and hopefuly your friend will understand.

Good luck!

Answer 19

cant you sleep on the sofa in his/her room?

Answer 20

I think you did the right thing. If that is what doctors suggested and he was in so such severe pain, he belongs there. It is better to have him be a mad at you for a little while than to risk something happening to him in the night, he is safer at the hospital where they can monitor him. You would never forgive yourself if you brought him home and something happened. He will forgive you, it was in his best interest.