Friend dating another control freak abuser - I can't take it!?

Question

I'm at my wits end with my friend of over 10 years who's been telling me for the past few months how her boyfriend of more than a year controls everything in her life. Demands all passwords to her email and social networking accounts and he's been reading her messages for months! Controls her bank accounts, calls her derogatory names, has a key to her house and goes through her personal stuff when she's not there, yells at her and her young son alot, has temper tantrums and won't talk to her for days, the list goes on. She led me to believe that he was a "prince" but just started to really open up about how afraid she is of him. She asked for my advice weeks ago and I told her - end it. It's not right how he controls and abuses her. She's self-medicating again to deal with the depression. She doesn't want to be alone again. I just can't take listening to this anymore. It's the same stuff all the time, the same kinds of guys for as long as I've known her. I've tried so hard to be a good listener and a shoulder to cry on, but I can't deal with this anymore due to the stresses in my own life and I told her this. Now she won't talk to me because when she asked for my honest opinion several months ago, I gave it to her. I love her dearly, but I can't pretend to like a control freak abuser. I know it takes two people to make or break a relationship and there are always two sides to every story. I guess this is the end of our friendship for good. Anybody else been through this with a friend? Should I just back off and let it be?

Answer 1

I have all the sympathy in the world for men and woman who go through this c**p, but it goes away when they use that pathetic excuse 'i don't want to be alone'.

I am sure she is going through a rough time, but she needs to stop being so d**n selfish. She needs to get her son away from this before there is too much damage or he starts treating women the same.

He will not follow her if he see's her being weak and scared. Tell her get rid or one day it won't be him she needs to fear, but social services.

And that is not a place she should risk him being sent to, believe me i know.

Answer 2

Tell her you lover her but if she decides to stay with him that either she doesnt tell you about their issues or you dont want to be friends any longer.